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G/A csection

holly321holly321 member
in VBAC
I had a csection under g/a 3 weeks ago.  I have been having a hard time dealing with it, but it gets better everyday.  Those of you who had this, how long do you feel it took you to get over it?  I know no one who had to go through this, and the only thing anybody will say to me is at least you have a healthy baby.  I thank God everyday she was healthy, but I still can't get over the fact that I missed out on her birth and it was avoidable. 
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Re: G/A csection

  • Brownie_222Brownie_222 member
    I'm sorry you had to have g/a. I wasn't put under, but struggled with sadness, grief and anger for about a year following my c-section. I went to see a counselor for a while and that helped. You might see if there's an ICAN chapter in your area. They can be a huge support as you recover physically and emotionally. Stick around here and know that you're not alone in your feelings. We are all here to support one another! Be kind to yourself. Life with a newborn is super challenging, and adding this layer of birth disappointment makes it extra tough. I've been there! It gets better with time, though. (Hugs)
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  • ShansBrideShansBride

    I am so sorry you are having a hard time.  I wasn't under g/a, but I understand the feelings of sadness that go along with a c/s.  I hated, HATED, people telling me "at least you have a healthy baby."  I didn't know anyone who had a c/s then either and it was really hard.  I honestly didn't really get to deal with my feelings until I talked to friends who had had c/s as well.

    I agree with PP and I would search out ICAN.  Talking about your feelings can be so helpful!

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  • margeincharge2margeincharge2

    I had a c/s with general anesthesia. I know this won't help you much but my DS is 20 months old and in some ways I am still dealing with the pain from that experience.

    I don't know the extent to which my issue stems from not being awake for DS's birth or the health complications I had that were traumatic that necessitated the c/s under general anesthesia. I'm sure both play a role.

    You are just 3 weeks pp so definitely give it time. Right now you might not be able to deal with all of the emotions swirling around but after your LO gets on a schedule and you feel a little bit more back to normal, I encourage you to find a way to deal with the pain. I put it off for some time and then I told myself I was fine. I rationalized away my emotions. But then I found that I was getting upset when I heard about "normal" birth stories. I talked to a counselor. It has been really helpful for me to understand why I am upset, how to be less hard on myself, and to get ready for baby #2.

    If you want to PM me, you can. I have found a couple of women on TB who had general anesthesia c/s's. It is so hard to deal with and even harder to explain to people what it's like to not be awake for the birth of your child. I, too, have gotten the healthy baby comments and they suck.

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  • myantoniamyantonia

    I didn't have G/A, but I, too, hated the "healthy baby" comments.  Someone posted this a week or so ago, and it seemed like some people didn't agree with it at the time... but maybe it will help you?  

     

     https://birthingbeautifulideas.com/?p=142

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  • holly321holly321 member
    Thanks for the encouragement and advice.  and i loved the article.
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