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Toddlers: 24 Months+
Court0026
member
worried about DS/need a hug
Court0026
member
Owen acts out at times, but he is more likely to act out at home and be good in public. He is generally easy-going and I never worry about taking him places. Today we had a play date in the morning and he basically panicked over playing in their new playroom and worked himself up to hysterical over not wanting to be there after we arrived. He carried on and on. We ended up playing in their living room (where he has played before) and listened to him beg to go home for over an hour. He was fine when we left, had lunch, played, was happy, etc. Then in the afternoon we headed to my old job to visit some co-workers (he hasn't napped in over a month, so we are finally free to visit my school). He was all about it and then freaked completely out when we got to the door. He ran from me, screamed, "NOT THIS DOOR!", cried and begged to go home. I know that a lot of kids tantrum in public, but he never has acted like this and he was SO panicked and hysterical that it was ridiculous, embarrassing (to have your kid slapping you across the face as your former boss comes over to say hi) and so frustrating. And because I was so unprepared for it, I couldn't really manage him with DD. I have never seen him look so scared, upset and determined about anything. UGH. Long day. Need a hug or something. Is this what the 2's are all about?
O 10.08 & MJ 6.10
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Re: worried about DS/need a hug
Awwww.....((hugs)).
I will say that around 2 yrs 4 mos is when my son started acting insane---like out of nowhere was TERRIFIED of going to daycare.....lasted a couple of weeks and then gone one day. Even now he'll react in weird ways to things he never reacted to before.
Is it possible he's sensing any kind of stress from you?? Like were you totally comfortable going to these places?? I think maybe taking him out to "familiar" places for a while and see if it gets better----maybe he just nees some comfort.
My new "mom" blog: http://realityofamommy.blogspot.com
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Notes:
Hugs.
Yes, it is what the 2s are about. Routine/sameness. I had OCD and began to think my oldest was OCD to the nth degree, and now I can just giggle that I have a secret and tell her we're going to play a joke- instead of going in this door, we'll go in that one, and see if we can surprise someone.
Things I did because I was concerned-
1) changed around little things that she would notice but not mind and laugh like a crazy woman when she pointed it out. Although I had a system for getting all 3 kids in the car, I started switching which side I put her in and took her out. There was a bit of resistance, but typically going somewhere was enticing enough to move on. I switched who sat where for snack. On her daily calendar, occasionally there would be a question mark, rather than picture of what we were doing that day, so she could get used to surprises. Lots of little things like that.
2) Wrap my arms around her in a hug before she got all worked up and gave her the words she needed to express her nneeds. If she calmed down and expressed it nicely, I met that need. If she didn't then we stayed put and worked through the tantrum.
3. Really reinforce how fun doing things differently is. We ate nasty messy spaghetti with our hands. We Ate breakfast for dinner. Etc.
4. The big thing is for you to relax. She will likely outgrow it, or it will morph into a slightly more socially-acceptable problem, but this inevitable. Most toddlers I know have gone through this. Some are bossy and defiant- seeming bratty. Others, like your DD and mine, become/became paralyzed with fear. The important thing, in my opinion, is to stay calm, comfort her a little, but reiterate that her fear is not reasonable. If you comfort too much, it may send an unconscious message that there most certainly is something to be afraid of.
Don't worry. My LO was doing crazy *** like tapping food 5 times to the plate if it touched another food. Having hysterical meltdowns- not bratty, but devestating sadness if I happened to put two socks of the same color on her. Spending up to 5 minutes trying to put a hat on at the perfect angle. And now she has traded all that in for becoming a picky eater (oddly she wasn't a picky eater when she was obsessive. Good luck, please keep an eye on it, but know "normal" anything at this age is on such a huge, broad spectrum.
ETA- so sorry, I meant your DS!
Thanks smiling. Just when you think you have your kid figured out...
It makes me feel better to know that this kind of phase happens! Anyway, I guess he really just wanted to stay home today and I don't know how much of that to follow his lead on. It is funny because I am a bit of a stress ball when I take him anywhere (he has food allergies too...peanut, tree nut, eggs and dairy), and we haven't slept in weeks (both kids sick) so I am a mess about that too. Maybe he is picking up on some of it? Ugh, but thanks!
Thanks LoveEeyore! You have been giving such great advice on these boards. I appreciate your response. Good to know that "normal" is a big range. I am a special ed teacher so I think I know too much about some stuff and need to remember that they are just little people trying to find their place. I will be rereading this in the morning.