WWYD? bridesmaid question

LCS040209 · April 2011

Ok, so DH's brother is getting married and I am in the wedding. I was asked to be in the wedding the week I found out I was pregnant, so I agreed bc obviously anything could have gone wrong at that point.

Here is the dilemma - the wedding is in Pittsburgh (5 hours away from us) on September 9th and I am due October 2nd, so I will be full term. DH and I will obviously be driving because I won't be able to fly. WWYD? I plan to ask my OB her opinion, but I'm just curious to see what you girls have to say. I don't want to wait til the last minute and not be able to go, so I would rather tell her sooner rather than later. I was thinking of telling her I cannot be in the wedding, and hope that I can still attend it but will not know until it gets closer.

I am also in a wedding on September 2nd, but that is 5 seconds away from us and shouldn't be a problem.

TIA for your input! It has been weighing on my brain!

njohnson1972 · April 2011

My OB doesn't want me flying after 34 weeks.

I would probably back out of being in the wedding in case you have the baby early. But I would probably still plan on attending if going by car.

cbubbles2 · April 2011

This is just my opinion but, I would honor my commitment to be in the wedding. I wouldn't back out on the off chance I went into labor early (but babies come late in my family). I would just hope for the best because I would feel terrible if I backed out and was fine when the wedding rolled around!

ashlyrose · April 2011

I would tell the bride of your concerns, I personally wouldn't feel comfortable being in a wedding that far along just incase something did happen let alone not knowing how you will be feeling either.

MrsRich0226 · April 2011

ashlyrose:
I would tell the bride of your concerns, I personally wouldn't feel comfortable being in a wedding that far along just incase something did happen let alone not knowing how you will be feeling either.

I agree. Talk to the bride - I'd want the option to not go just in case something happens early.

etoyama · April 2011

If it were me, I think I'd still attend the wedding, but not be in it. That's very close to your due date. Best of luck with whatever decision you make, though!

ohiostategal · April 2011

That is tough because 5 hours away isn't THAT far away, but probably farther than I would be comfortable being form home that close to my EDD. I agree, talk to the bride and see what she thinks and then just do what feels best to you, not something that you should be worried about so whatever you decide will be best. Honestly in the last couple of weeks I would not have felt comfortable in a car for 5 hours, but that is just how I have felt, you might feel differently when you are that far along.

babylove0511 · April 2011

I would talk to the bride and see how she feels and then make your decision. I personally would go and just take a few stops to walk/snack. I want to say you should still be in the wedding but I don't know what it feels like to be that close to your due date. I know tons of girls that are fine and not phased by pregnancy but also know many that hate life at that point =/

Did I confuse you enough?! lol.

ColleenS629 · April 2011

I agree that you should talk to the bride. I don't think I would feel comfortable continuing with that commitment when you might not be able to be there.

MSaksa · April 2011

I think I personally would be ok driving 5 hours away that close to my due date if my OB said it was ok. I probably wouldn't consider going any farther than that though.

Hopefully it will all work out!

MSaksa · April 2011

I'll also add that I agree with pp that not being in the wedding but still attending the wedding sounds like a good idea...just in case. But we had a groomsmen that couldn't be in our wedding last minute and it wasn't a big deal. Everyone understood.

LCS040209 · April 2011

Thanks so much ladies!! I definitely agree with you girls, that I will do anything to make it to the wedding. I just would feel so bad if something happened and I was letting her down last minute by not being in it. I will definitely talk to her about it

Thank you!

Sarafuss · April 2011

I had kind of the same problem. I told my friend I would be in her wedding in Florida in May (we live in Ohio). She got engaged and asked me to be in the wedding while DH and were TTC and she knew what we were going through. When I found out I was pregnant we hadn't bought bridesmaid dresses yet so I told her that I wouldn't be comfortable traveling 16 hours from home 32 weeks pregnant. She understood and it was fine. I still did all of the other bridesmaid duties (helped plan the bridal shower and threw her bachelorette party) but I just won't be going to the ceremony.

I would say that it's too close to your due date to travel that far from home. But if you end up attending the wedding as a guest anyway that might negate that excuse...

Edit to clarify

lmc5004 · April 2011

I would honor your commitment but warn her that anything can happen. I am the maid of honor in a wedding at 36 weeks (which is what you will be)... I think at a whole month before a not quite full term you should be fine, especially since you are having a singleton... with twins it would be too close to term I think.

PecanSam · April 2011

It's your DH's brother, he can't miss that wedding, he would always regret it. Worse case scenario, you go into labor and might have to deliver in a strange city. If you decide to stay home, I'm assuming you would want DH to stay with you in case you go into labor, then he would miss his brother's wedding. If you wouldn't expect DH to stay with you and you go into labor then he might miss the birth.

I would go, take a car seat with you and anything else you would need for the baby just in case you went into labor there.

Temp616379875002458 · April 2011

PecanSam:

It's your DH's brother, he can't miss that wedding, he would always regret it. Worse case scenario, you go into labor and might have to deliver in a strange city. If you decide to stay home, I'm assuming you would want DH to stay with you in case you go into labor, then he would miss his brother's wedding. If you wouldn't expect DH to stay with you and you go into labor then he might miss the birth.

I would go, take a car seat with you and anything else you would need for the baby just in case you went into labor there.

This. AND, what PPs said. So basically, you should talk to the bride and see how she feels....and then prepare to go to the wedding by preparing car for baby, just in case.

Also, if you did have a little baby that weekend, it would always be the best celebration weekend ever for you and DH's family!!!!

LCS040209 · April 2011

PecanSam:
It's your DH's brother, he can't miss that wedding, he would always regret it. Worse case scenario, you go into labor and might have to deliver in a strange city. If you decide to stay home, I'm assuming you would want DH to stay with you in case you go into labor, then he would miss his brother's wedding. If you wouldn't expect DH to stay with you and you go into labor then he might miss the birth.
I would go, take a car seat with you and anything else you would need for the baby just in case you went into labor there.

Oh no! I would never require DH to stay home! I think it is a good idea to take the car seat!

WWYD? bridesmaid question

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