- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Babies: 9 - 12 Months
Is asking for books plus gifts at a shower acceptable?
Maybe this is my UO for the day, then, but that seems very rude: give me a gift in addition to the gifts I already asked for by inviting you to my shower.
(book post below)
ETA: it's not the money I'm going to spend; it's the principle of asking gift-givers for more gifts that rubs me the wrong way. ::shrug::
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is asking for books plus gifts at a shower acceptable?
DS: 10/11/14
Go to the dollar store, they're $.50 there!
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
I think asking for anything specific at a gift giving event like that is tacky.
I recently went to a shower where they asked for a book and package of diapers for a raffle. Greedy.
They didn't do anything like that for my shower. I have been to tons of showers that this has been done. AND DIAPERS. I only wish my mom would have asked everyone to bring diapers. LOL.
I don't get offended when I have to take something along with a gift to the shower. I usually spend say $30.00 on a shower gift. So if I have to bring something else I just buy something off the registry for $25 and spend the other $5 on a book {or whatever else}
For those who said its better than spending 3.99 on a card: tons of people no longer buy cards (I just write a nice note) and many more buy 50 cent cards.
And in response to the person who said "no one is holding a gun to your head." You are technically right. But no one wants to be the lone one out who looks cheap. Most people are going to do it out of guilt. Its not fair, IMO to put someone in that position.
If someone wants to buy you a book, they will. Why specifiy? We got sooo many books at my shower without telling people to do so. If anything, we got too many books (and duplicates)
We asked for a book instead of a card and now lucas has an amazing library with tons of books from his loved ones. They all wrote special messages in the books which I read to him before the story!
When I am asked to bring a book we always factor that into the price of the gift and not as extra. IMO would rather give that then a stupid card that will end up in the trash.
Oh, I agree that a book is a much better investment than a card, I just have a problem with asking for it.
To each their own, I guess.
If it bothers you that bad, then don't go to the shower.
Yes, this is my point.
I'm giving a side-eye to the people saying "It's OK because I did it." Just because you did that doesn't mean it's not rude.
Gimmegimmegimme!
Not to me. I never buy a card anyway. I think it's tacky to ask for books, have diaper raffles and have wishing wells.
It's normal here where I live to charge a cover charge if it's in a restaurant!
I think it's ridiculously gift grabby as if you want to squeeze every penny out of me.
Isn't that pretty much the whole concept of a shower? You register for gifts, right? You put on your invitation where you registered, right? So isn't that gimmegimmegimme?!
Another reason why I would not do it is because I'm very picky with books, a baby book snob, if you will. I make to sure to read them before I buy them. If they don't deliver something interesting or beautiful I skip them, why have books for the sake of having books?
If you open gifts in front of people, don't you already risk someone "looking cheap" if they didn't get as big of a gift as the person before them? (this is one thing I really, really hate about showers in general).
And if you have a registry, aren't you essentially already giving people a list of your wants?
For the record, we didn't do the book thing (or the diaper thing, or anything like that) at my shower and I wouldn't do it if I were hosting one, either. But, at the same time, I guess I don't see the big deal.
This exactly. If you are asked to bring a book and don't want to, don't. It's simple. A shower is a gift giving event. The whole thing is gift grabby.
lol. Yes god forbid I have an opinion. I should just shut up and stay home. ::Eye roll::
I also think its rude to ask for money. If someone did it though, I'd still go. I am still allowed, in my head, to think its tacky. its not the mother to be's fault. Its the host. Why should I punish my friend because the person throwing the shower is tacky?
This logic KILLS me.
Seriously? You'd have to get me high to agree to pay to attend a baby shower.
Bar tab = $156,000, Bus to Foxwoods = $0, Puking in the Stanley Cup = Priceless
I've never gone although I always bring a gift to the guest of honor at work. Anyone that wants to get you a gift will rgeardless.
Oh and I love when people say it went over well. I'm pretty open with my friends and say what I am thinking but I reserve the what a gift grabby little twat thoughts for my husband I and to ridicule in the privacy of our own home.
Well, if baby showers per se are gift grabby, accoerding to PP, then why add insult to injury asking for a book to replace a card that you don't even know if you are getting?
Again, to each their own, but that would never fly around here.
It is a good idea to give books to a baby, but I think it's rude to ask for a book in addition to a shower gift. Books cost a lot more than a card does.
Evelyn (3.24.10), Graham (5.30.13) & Miles (8.28.16)
I love the concept, however I can see the tackiness in it and how it could be taken the wrong way.
Also to Yankee's comment about a cover charge...
people do this!?
That's fine, to each is own. Not everyone bought a book, I got cards from some people too. I don't think that just because you ask for it, you aren't forcing people to buy it. I didn't hold it against anyone who didn't buy one- it's their choice.
In my opinion, it's tacky to ever, in any way, shape, or form, tell the guests to bring a gift. Telling them where you're registered is one thing, but telling them to bring a particular gift is another.
If you really want books instead of baby items, then register for books, not baby items, and let the guests figure it out for themselves.
I can see how people would think it's tacky if the mom-to-be is requesting what people give her, but how often do people host their own showers? They have no idea what goes on invitations and half of the time (at least in our family), showers are surprises anyway. So if someone puts a request for book for a library or a recipe or whatever on a shower invite, it doesn't come across as rude to me.
I actually did this when I hosted a shower for a friend of mine. It was all grad students and some people saw the cute poem on the back and brought a book and some didn't. But the people attending (as we are all dirt poor grad students and brutally honest with one another) didn't have an issue with it - for a few, that was all they could afford and the mom absolutely loved having books signed by her friends for her now son.
My sister did recipes for my wedding shower. And she photographed each person with a chef's hat. Annoying? - yup. Tacky? - probably. But I now have the most adorable recipe book with my friends and family in it.
I actually got a ton of awesome books - people bought their favorite childhood books, and they ranged from Mary Poppins to an old hardcover of Peter Pan to some Richard Scarry books. I don't think it was tacky, especially since every last book had a note written to Liam inside. One from my aunt said he should look up to his mom, because I was a storytelling champion when I was in grade school, lol.
I don't see how asking for books could ever be seen as offensive, I'd prefer to give those ahead of clothes and toys.
This. Everyone wrote nice messages to DD inside of the books too. I loved it!