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EliStar
member
A little update/vent
EliStar
member
As most of you know, it's been quite a while that DH and I have been TTC. We took a little two month breather over the summer when my back was acting up, but even minus that, we've been naturally TTC for about 14 months.
At first, I thought maybe I was psyching myself out. I stopped thinking about it. I tried to listen to everyone's advice - "Just let it happen." "Stop worrying about it." I stopped charting, stopped stressing, tried to relax. I honestly wasn't worried for a long time.
Then, little things started affecting me. I'd physically have to stop myself from crying when people asked DH and I when we were planning on having kids. Comments from our parents were starting to grate on both of our nerves. Things like "Are we ever going to be grandparents", while innocent, were more hurtful than they should have been. When a coworker got pregnant with her second child and all my coworkers started coming up to me and saying they were going to move me to her side of the office so that the pregnancy vibes could rub off on me, I had to excuse myself for a good thirty minutes to cry it out in the bathroom. I know it's not my fault, but I feel like a failure. People don't realize how insensitive they can be, without even meaning to.
Last week was rough for me - DH and I sat down and accepted that something might be wrong and realized that we might have to get help. I never thought this would happen to me. We spent so much time trying NOT to get pregnant, that it never occurred to me that it might be hard for us.
DH is getting his sperm tested within the next week. We're both dieting, working out and trying to get healthy and pretty much doing everything else we can. I'm still holding on to the hope that nothing is wrong, but I feel more prepared for the possibility now. I know a lot of you had to deal with IF issues before conceiving, and honestly I can use all the support/information/prayers I can get.
If you made it this far, thanks for reading.
xoxo
This discussion has been closed.
Re: A little update/vent
(((hugs)))
I'm so sorry you are going through this, Eli. I think the comments from your family are innocent enough, but the reaction from your coworkers is obnoxious!
I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you and Anthony. Have you discussed this with your family? Maybe, they would be a little more understanding and sensitive if they knew. As far as the coworkers, I wouldn't say much to them about the situation. They don't need to know.
Eli, please, keep us updated on what the doc says. When the time does come, and it will, I know you are going to be an excellent mother! You are so good with Elise that even Jose and I have noticed how you're the only one that doesn't give her back when she gets fussy. You immediately find a way to soothe her (even better than the way the grandmas do it).
If you need anything, even just to talk or hang out, I'm here for you!
First of all, ::hugs:: Like the big-never-gonna-see-you-again kind.
I had a feeling, so that's why I haven't asked.
If you don't already know this, you can come talk to me WHENEVER. I will send you my home # via FB
You already know I know what you're going thru. If you need anything or have any questions or need someone to go with you to an appointment or something when you don't wanna go alone and Anthony can't be there just let me know.
Love you, friend
CP 7.19.08
Dx with PCOS 3.27.09
HSG 7.15.09 = All clear
8.09 & 9.09(re-try) IUI #1/2 - Clomid 100mg Follistim 150iu Ovidrel=cancelled due to cysts
10.09 IUI #1/2 - Clomid 100mg Follistim 150iu Ovidrel Crinone 8%=BFP!
22mm Follie / 60mil & 48mil post wash counts Beta #1 (14dpiui)= 102 Beta #2 (18dpiui)= 714 12.3.09 HB 135bpm
Our baby boy was born on 7.8.10 @ 38 weeks 2 days! 2:17pm 6lbs 8oz 20" long
HSG 2.2013 - IUI 1/2, 3/4 = BFN - Took 4 month forced break
Konstantino
Maximo
FOLLOW ME ON PINTEREST https://pinterest.com/raffaella1030/
Hang in there! My IF problems weren't getting pregnant, but staying pregnant. If you do have IF issues, it can be something very simple with a very simple fix. Wait and see what your dr has to say. Best of luck to you..if you need anything you can find me here and on FB!
Hugs!!!
Photo courtesy of www.yaporiginals.com
It's Beshert
I love you. Thank you so much. I teared up (as if I wasn't an emotional mess already lol).
I recently told my mom that my dad's comments were very hurtful. I don't know if your parents are like this, but in my family, everyone's private business is fair game and he would make terrible jokes about how Anthony "esta dormido" or about him shooting blanks or other crude jokes. I know he's just kidding and he hadn't realized how much it was bothering us - since I spoke to my mom, he's been much better - I guess she spoke to him about it. My mom has always known what's going on and she's been more supportive recently, since I told her just much we've been hurting. Neither DH or I really want to talk to his parents about it. I'm just not ready to go there yet - they are VERY opinionated and I just don't want to hear the 231414413 things we're doing wrong.
:::tons of hugs:::
Girl, you know I was there, and not too long ago. If you have any questions, or just want to vent, come on over! I'm here for you.
I will say, I don't mean to scare you, but til this day, we are still classified as "unexplained IF." After almost 3 yrs TTC, all test show we are fine, thank GOD. Just frusterating not to have an answer, I know.
As for the comments, I know it is hard to hear them over and over again, but like you said, people don't mean to be hurtful. They are just ignorant. I was constantly making up excuses when asked, "looking for a new job, don't have insurance yet, waiting to go on XX vacation, we are enjoying our niece/nephew which are returnable." You name it, we said it. We'd even make jokes out of it! Trying to steer people away from the question but giving a half answer.
At the end of the day, when you guys are ready, God will send a little miracle (or two)... that I promise! Just hang in there.
For us, it got so bad and frusterating emotionally, DH one day randomly said, "let's go skiing!" and by the end of the wk, we were booked and ready to go the next month. HE needed the distraction as well. And we did 2 different trips spontaneous like that to try to escape the reality.
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
"If we couldn't laugh we would all go insane" -- Jimmy Buffett
big hugs to you. I'm so sorry to hear this. My husband and I had a very difficult time conceiving as well. It is such a hard thing to experience. My husband's arents made similar comments as well. Have you stopped by the infertility boards on the nest? They were really helpful to me when we were trying to conceive.
definitely hold on to the hope, even if something is wrong, like Gena said, it can be an easy fix! I was told by a doctor that we couldn't conceive children even with IVF and to adopt. Yet, with the help of another specialist, we have conceived with IVF! hang in there!
If you ever have any questions or anything, feel free to reach out.
Definitely. I don't want even more questions, which is why we've been pretty quiet about it. If it comes down to us having to do invasive medical procedures, we'll tell them. Ugh.
Eli, big hugs for guys!!
I'm sorry you are having to deal with this and for the added pressure of having to fend off the comments and questions.
Please keep us updated. Lots of happy thoughts and prayers your way.
BFP #3: 01/28/12, EDD: 09/23/12, MMC (BO), D&C 2/16/12 at 6.5 wks
BFP #4: 05/23/12, EDD: 01/31/12, Early MC at 5 wks
RPL Workup: + LPD (7DPO Prog = 7.8, Endometrial Bx = out of phase)
Elevated Alpha 2-glycoprotein IgA and antiphosphatidylserine IgM -->
Hematologist said not to worry and no need for treatment!
Dx: LPD
Cycle #1(08/2012): Clomid 50 mg CD3-7, Ovidrel CD13 + Progesterone = It worked!
BFP #5 on 09/10/12 (11 DPO). HCG #1 @ 14DPO = 131.6 HCG #2 @ 16DPO = 509
EDD: 05/23/2013
I wish you lots of luck and am sending you good thoughts.
((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))
I too have several friends who had a long journey to parenthood and was right there with them for the ride. All have been blessed and you will be too. I know how painful it can be when you are trying to conceive and everyone around you is, I've been there. I think your coworkers were trying to be positive for you, noone knows what to say in these type of situations, but feel like they should say something. Family can be the worst. It sounds like your mom is very supportive and you and your H have a plan. Best wishes to you, stay positive and have faith.
OH mama. You just broke my heart and gave me a good shake at the same time. I think of all the off the cuff comments people make to others, me included, and you never how it affects someone.
I am sending you BIG hugs and lots of luck. Whatever road these tests take you on, however you get there, I am sending up lots of prayers that you will be holding your own child very very soon.
Love,
Mel
I'm glad speaking to your mom has helped! It is very difficult when family members are insensitive. Hopefully, they will back off!
Call me if you want to gtg soon. I'm usually home with Elise (and Jose, lol) on the weekends.
I'm just getting caught up on posts now, and I just wanted to say ((HUGS)). I'm so sorry you & Anthony are going through this. & like others have said, when your time does come (and it will!) I just know that you're going to be an amazing mom!
xoxox
My Blog: SIREN.ORG!
Thanks for all the
and support, ladies.
I love you girls!
Hi Eli,
I actually teared up a little because reading your story was like looking into my life. Both my husband and I married a little later in life and started trying for children a year after our marriage. We tried for a year until we decided that something could be wrong. My husband got the sperm quality test and I did every hormone test imaginable. Everything turned out fine. The whole time I was thinking just like you were: You take care of yourself all this time and when you want to get pregnant it doesn't happen. Very frustrating!!
And yes, we had the same comments from our parents that although not hurtful intentionally, there is no other emotional escape but to cry. I was just the same way!! I actually sat down with my mom and let her know how I was feeling...she had no idea. She was extremely supportive thereafter. I actually cried to my ob/gyn who I have to say was and is one of the nicest and most understanding people out there. At work, our clinic's manager got pregnant with her second child, which was actually a blessing for her because she had battled cervical cancer. But the whole time, of course, you are wondering, why can't I get pregnant?
Right before I was to get an invasive test to determine if my fallopian tubes were ok, I got pregnant. This was February of this year. And let me tell you, I was following my cycling days like a hawk. I actually conceived later than expected based on my chart. What I am trying to say is that even though ovulating charts can place you on the right track,they are NOT exact. I would add days before and after your ovulating days, JUST in case. I am currently 4 months pregnant.
I hope your tests come back normal. And please know that there are people who really understand what you are going through. If you need anything, please feel free to contact me.
Angela