VENT: inlaws not complying with rear facing request

warwickbride06 · April 2011

so my inlaws like to pick up my DS from daycare to spend time with him. I noticed yesterday their carseat forward facing in their car. we had explained to them our wishes, negated their comments about his legs, yada yada...yet there it was.

I asked them to swtich it, and got the "it didn't fit backwards" and when i questioned that they said "oh well, his legs"...and i went on my schpeel, and they pretty much ignored me! FIL walked out of the room!

so, it's only a 5 min trip, but I am super annoyed at the blatent disrespect! I am not confrontational, so this was difficult for me to even bring up. Hubby will say something to them, but GRRRRRRRR!

shoeboxx · April 2011

If you and H feel that strongly about it, have H tell his parents to turn the car seat around or they can no longer pick him up from daycare.

warwickbride06 · April 2011

yes, well I feel super strongly about it and DH does what I say. lol. so, he kind of shrugged and said "i'll say something to them" lol.

shoeboxx · April 2011

warwickbride06:

yes, well I feel super strongly about it and DH does what I say. lol. so, he kind of shrugged and said "i'll say something to them" lol.

You all aren't comfortable with him forward facing, you must tell them. My mom told me she was going to FF LO's carseat in her car, I told her no. I hate to be a 'brat', but it's either follow our rules, or LO won't ride in your car.

Karla and Alex · April 2011

You should send DH over to their house and have him switch the carseat to rearfacing for them.

Otherwise I agree with PP don't allow them to pick up LO from DC if they don't comply with your requests.

teeah22 · April 2011

I'd play the doctor card, tell them your pedi specified that your LO needs to be RF so they need to turn it if they want to pick LO up. Offer to turn it for them next time you see them.

emiliemadison · April 2011

It wasn't a request, it was a parental choice- and they disregarded it. And this is a safety issue, not something flippant like them giving him two cookies instead of one after dinner.

The bottom line is that if they cannot respect you when it comes to your child's safety, then they should lose the right to transport your child. End of story. It is THAT serious and THAT important.

piccolina09 · April 2011

AshPal61:
I would tell them that they can't pick up the baby until the car seat is the way you want it.

This exactly, that is very disrespectful!

MegGary · April 2011

emiliemadison:
It wasn't a request, it was a parental choice- and they disregarded it. And this is a safety issue, not something flippant like them giving him two cookies instead of one after dinner.
The bottom line is that if they cannot respect you when it comes to your child's safety, then they should lose the right to transport your child. End of story. It is THAT serious and THAT important.

This. My MIL won't leave a car seat in her car on a regular basis. DH works w/ his parents & drives his mom in her van to & from work everyday. He'd have to take her home than get in his truck to go get DD. It was a PITA to do this everyday. She said just put the car seat in their every morning. Really lady? Cause thats so easy to do every friggen day.

Her solution? Just pick her up w/ no car seat. Whats the big deal? Thats right, NO carseat. FU lady, not my child. Needless to say DD is never allowed in their vehicles.

dragon_chica · April 2011

Until they comply with you I think you should like DCP know that your in-laws are NOT allowed to pick up LO under any circumstances and they can call you if there's a problem. If they're a good DCP they will respect your wishes.

shoeboxx · April 2011

emiliemadison:

It wasn't a request, it was a parental choice- and they disregarded it. And this is a safety issue, not something flippant like them giving him two cookies instead of one after dinner.

The bottom line is that if they cannot respect you when it comes to your child's safety, then they should lose the right to transport your child. End of story. It is THAT serious and THAT important.

My thoughts exactly!

[Deleted User] · April 2011

The user and all related content has been deleted.

kreeper611 · April 2011

IMO, it doesn't matter what the topic is. My kid = my rules. If either parents were doing something that I had specifically said they could not do, then I would be very specific about the amount of time they spend with DS. If that is your rule, put your foot down.

MammaBear81 · April 2011

shoeboxx:
warwickbride06:

yes, well I feel super strongly about it and DH does what I say. lol. so, he kind of shrugged and said "i'll say something to them" lol.

You all aren't comfortable with him forward facing, you must tell them. My mom told me she was going to FF LO's carseat in her car, I told her no. I hate to be a 'brat', but it's either follow our rules, or LO won't ride in your car.

This, and if they say they don't know how, or can't RF the seat, offer to do it for them. Sorry that you have to deal with the disrespect, I know how that feels Sad

mistywhite400 · April 2011

then they don't get to drive with your child in the car! No matter if they think it's silly or stupid...it's your child & if they can't obey your instructions (it's not a suggestion) then they don't get the privilage of picking your child up! simple as that!

that goes with any instruction you give them, feeding, carseat..whatever.

caruso_60 · April 2011

I can't believe your FIL walked out of the room. How disrespectful. You are this child's mother. There would be major hell to pay if my in-laws walked out on me while I tried to explain something about my child. They would not be spending any time with him until I was sure that they were listening and following my instructions. My in-laws would never cross me like that. They respect me as a mother and as an adult.

Temp36641187503164 · April 2011

There is absolutely no way that I would allow them to pick up DS unless they agreed to have him RF. I would be firm.

AZAudiGirl · April 2011

I would remove their names from the list of people allowed to pick up your child at daycare until the turn the seat around.

vmm0016 · April 2011

I would have your husband change the car seat for them or get them one that does fit in their car RF. That way they can't tell you it doesn't fit.

MarMat · April 2011

kreeper611:

IMO, it doesn't matter what the topic is. My kid = my rules. If either parents were doing something that I had specifically said they could not do, then I would be very specific about the amount of time they spend with DS. If that is your rule, put your foot down.

this, I think it's somehow like little childrem, you have to set limits for them as well. DH used to joke somehow when FILs or my mom said something we didn't agree, they were getting negative points and that implicated less time with DD.

they need kindly reminders that DD is their granddaughter, no their daughter. If they cannot comply with our rules, they simply would not see her.

If you don't set limits now, later on they will be giving junk food, candies just because they feel they can.

sorry that you are going trough this. GL!

panarama99 · April 2011

AZAudiGirl:
I would remove their names from the list of people allowed to pick up your child at daycare until the turn the seat around.

This. I don't see what the problem is, honestly - your kid, your rules. If they want to see their grandchild, they will follow your rules. If not, then sorry boutcha!

ryry1977 · April 2011

AshPal61:
I would tell them that they can't pick up the baby until the car seat is the way you want it.

this

rianals · April 2011

In our family, rear facing is not a request. It is a requirement.

jdp · April 2011

Tell them it's the law!!!! Although this may not be true, our pedi told us at DD's 15month check up to put her back to rear facing because that is the new recommendation for up to 2 years!!!

eitaknna9 · April 2011

AshPal61:
I would tell them that they can't pick up the baby until the car seat is the way you want it.

This. Whether they agree with it or not, that is your child and your wishes.

diana.filipi · April 2011

AshPal61:
I would tell them that they can't pick up the baby until the car seat is the way you want it.

This.

jdouglas84 · April 2011

shoeboxx:
If you and H feel that strongly about it, have H tell his parents to turn the car seat around or they can no longer pick him up from daycare.

I would do the same. I would offer to help them install it rear facing if they are saying it won't fit that way.

sunnyday016 · April 2011

I'd have your DH install the seat for them. If they change it, then they shouldn't be allowed to pick LO up anymore-simple as that.

ablou · April 2011

AshPal61:
I would tell them that they can't pick up the baby until the car seat is the way you want it.

This.

g8trkim · April 2011

AshPal61:
I would tell them that they can't pick up the baby until the car seat is the way you want it.

This. Your baby, your rules. And what does it really matter to them? Are they just too lazy to flip it around?

Butterflylove85 · April 2011

emiliemadison:

It wasn't a request, it was a parental choice- and they disregarded it. And this is a safety issue, not something flippant like them giving him two cookies instead of one after dinner.

The bottom line is that if they cannot respect you when it comes to your child's safety, then they should lose the right to transport your child. End of story. It is THAT serious and THAT important.

This, 100%.

Jermysgirl · April 2011

Dude, that is YOUR kid. Call your daycare tomorrow and tell them that no one can pick up your child but you. Then talk to your ILs and tell them that since they can't abide by your wishes, you or your husband will be picking him up from now on. If they can't follow the rules, they don't get the perks.

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