Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Things I have learned

When I first got here, 8 months ago, there was a post about all the things the ladies have learned since m/c.  It was a huge encouragement for me.  I thought maybe it was time to repeat it.  So please list the things you have learned since m/c.
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Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks

Re: Things I have learned

  • *I have learned I'm a lot tougher than I thought, but also a lot softer than I thought.

    *Coffee and chocolate really can help you feel better.

    *My DH is amazingly strong but the pain really gets to him too.

    * The hair loss will stop after about 6 months.

    * The acne will get better.

    * A good OB is worth their weight in gold. 

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    Be kinder than necessary, for everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle!
    April 2011 CP @ 5 weeks
  • Wow. Well said.

    * Yes, a good OB is very hard to find.

    * My DH is strong and understanding at the same time. The loss affects him though too and it is nice to see a softer side.

    * Just when it seems as though the pain and darkness will never end, it gets just a little bit lighter. All of a sudden you can breath and the day isn't quite as long.

    * People deal with loss very differently. People you love will avoid you, strangers will become good friends and you will get seriously offended by some of the things people do. Just remember they can't understand unless they have been through it too.

    * This board has been such a Godsend. I'm so grateful I don't feel alone.

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  • * You can't plan everything. Despite trying, sometimes plans change.

    * I wouldn't be who I am today (for better and worse) if it weren't for my losses.

    * Some dreams get smashed but new dreams take their place. No matter how small the new dream is (planning tomorrow or planning a vacation) there is something that can make you happy despite all the pain.

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  • Great idea Kristy! 

    *I am stronger then I ever knew.

    *I knew I had an awesome DH, but that has been reinforced ten fold (maybe more).

    *My family is awesome.

    *People you had written out of your life years ago can surprise you and return when you needed them most.

    *Despite all of the pain and loss I have discovered I am truely blessed and more thankful for each day.

     

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  • *I have re-learned how important it is to look for the positive in everything.  I wouldn't be as strong as I am today if I didn't actively try to find the good things that have come from this.

    *I have learned how important it is to listen to my friends when they need support.  The best support I received through all of this was a caring, listening ear.

    *I have learned that saying "I'm sorry" is enough.

    *I have started to learn to ask for the support I need.  It's amazing how willing people are to provide it... they just don't know what I need unless they ask.

    *Most importantly, I have learned just how much I know I am meant to be a mom.  I so hope it happens soon....

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  • Hi Kristy and fellow ladies -

    I have learned 

    - After 13 years i have learned that in time the hurt may dull, but never goes away.

    - It is ok to be scared, sad, angry and lost

    - I will never forget my babies

    - God's delay is not his denial

    - I should have trusted my instincts depite last doctor telling me i was worrying for nothing the entire 18+weeks i was pregnant

    - No one understands unless they have walked in these shoes.

    - People will say stupid things, some intentionally, some accidentally.  I determine who i listen to.

    I always wanted to be a mom, I just didn't know how I would get there.
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