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I need some advice..(longish)
I am pregnant with my BF?s second child. We have been together a while and things used to be really good between us. That?s the problem used to be a long, long time ago. That?s the problem I am holding on those memories. Our son passed in June and things just got that much harder. I can honestly say little to none of the problems are me. Especially none of the major ones and according to my friends and family I am no where at fault. I would fully admit if it was me, reevaluate myself and fix whatever problems I was causing. My BF is the most selfish person you will ever meet. Along with being immature, sneaky and nasty. He has caused so many problems between my family, friends and I it?s insane. I know people will read this and think then what is your problem then be done. He has a little boy who I love to death. This little boy is just like my own. I love him so much and if we are done that?s it he will be gone too. Things just keep getting worse though and I don?t know how much more I can take. Talking to him about things is like talking to the wall. We get no where because he doesn?t listen to or absorb what I am saying. I just wanted to say I think all of you ladies are strong. I wanted to know did any of you work up the courage and leave on your own? Especially while pregnant? I am so scared to be all alone pregnant with no significant other to share my joys, pain and appointments with. Especially when having the baby. I couldn?t imagine having my first son alone or this baby either.
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Re: I need some advice..(longish)
I left when I was 8 months along but it was over long before that. If it's over then it's over. sounds like you're delaying the inevitable.
Are you really sharing in all of the joys of pregnancy if he is as awful as you describe?
My advice: you'll know when it's over. If you are posting here my guess is the end is near.
You took the words out of my mouth. I am not able to enjoy my pregnancy like I should or want to. I have this awful habit with all of my exes staying when it should have been over. I feel bad for them or like I am hurting them by leaving. When in reality I went through more then I ever should have had to. I tend to think about the good memories and push back the bad ones. Thinking that if things could be like that again everything would be fine.
The end is near for sure. My mom was a single mom with me and she made the right choice. So I have her telling me to make that end sooner then later.
Regardless of whether or not you leave, based on this statement alone you should probably seek some individual counseling so that you don't continue to make the same mistakes. I'm in counseling because I stayed way too long in a horrible relationship (my XH was abusive to me and eventually our DD) and I need to figure out why I chose to stay for so long and allow someone to abuse me so that I don't make the same mistakes in the future. Good luck!
I did go to counseling after a really long relationship with an EXBF. I didn't go enough to get the help I really needed though. I actually have called one recently because I am having a really hard time dealing with the emotions of my son dying and being pregnant again. I planned this pregnancy and am very happy to be pregnant. It's just hard to juggle all those emotions.Thank you for your suggestion that's a great idea. I will have to make sure I talk about out why I stay and feel bad for people even when they have done me so wrong. I tend to always just sympathize for people and try to see the good in them.
Really? I am having his son's second sibling. I love his son as much as I love my own kids. I do get along with his mother too. She has always told me I play an important role in her son's life and that she wants me to always be in it. You just never know what will really happen. I have already lost my son, I don't know if I could handle another loss because that's what it will feel like to me.
Sorry I was lurking---Could you work something out with his sons mother to maybe get together and have play dates or visitation days...become friends with her. GL
BFP w/#2- April 1st, 2011
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old bump name: dan&jon11/11/06