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Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss
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I'm new here...

SY SmilesSY Smiles member
in Miscarriage/Pregnancy Loss

Hello, everybody. I was on TB before as S Smiles (but everyone just called me Smiles.) I couldn't get my ticker or anything to delete from my siggy or account, so I just decided to start fresh so I could actually start posting on here. 

Anyways, I had a missed miscarriage at 13 weeks. I went in for my third ultrasound exactly one week ago today (after 2 wonderful ultrasounds and a strong heartbeat, no spotting or bleeding, and 2 months of strong morning sickness) to find out our baby's heart stopped beating. They told me to decide if I wanted to wait and miscarry naturally or come in for a D&C and I decided the D&C was the best option for me since my body seemed to be holding on pretty tight and I just didn't want to play the waiting game. I went in for the surgery the following morning.

DH and I are heartbroken. This was my first pregnancy and we tried for quite a while before I got pregnant, so we were so thankful for every moment. The past week has been full of ups and downs. Just when I feel like I'm healing, I'll see DH crying and we will both just break down. I know it will take time, and I have been lurking here and can already tell I will be so thankful for you all. I'm happy and sorry to meet you at the same time.

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Re: I'm new here...

  • sessa717sessa717
    i am so sorry for your loss. i lost my baby at 9 weeks and it was also my first pregnancy. i had some brown spotting about a week before the natural miscarriage but the baby had a strong heartbeat so the doctors were not concerned. its been very hard for me to deal with, but each day i do feel a little bit better and have begun to feel hopeful about the future. its been almost 3 weeks now and i have my follow up appointment this friday. i hope that my period comes back soon and we can ttc in a month or so. hang in there, give yourself and your husband time to grieve and try to be open about talking about this as possible, this has really helped us in the healing process.
    BFP #1: 1/27/11, mc 3/17/11 at 9w2d, baby measured at 8w3d, no heartbeat BFP #2: 5/13/11; beta #1: 382, beta #2: 7842. heartbeat: 103 at 6 weeks; 146 at 7 weeks, 165 at 9 weeks, 173 at 12 weeks, 158 at 16 weeks. BabyFruit Ticker
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  • poohbear033poohbear033 member
    I am so sorry for your loss and sorry that you have to be here. I hope you find the support and comfort you are looking for. I also lost my first pregnancy and it has been a roller coaster of emotions. This board has been a tremendous help.
    Wedding 08/08/08

    BFP #1 12/29/10 EDD 08/29/11 Blighted Ovum 02/09/11 D&C 02/11/11

    Clomid 50mg BFP #2 09/21/11 EDD 05/29/11 Chemical Pregnancy 10/4/11

    BFP #3 4/19/13 Beta1- 106 Beta2- 524 Beta3- 3500 EDD 12/22/13 LO born 12/31/13

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  • SY SmilesSY Smiles member
    Thank you both. I know what you mean about the rollercoaster. Sometimes I feel so great and am able to laugh and joke with DH, then I see something that reminds me of our baby and I lose it. I know things will get easier with time, but time comes really slowly nowadays.
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  • 1220winterbride1220winterbride member
    hi, Smiles. I am still fairly new around here, too. This sucks. I am terribly sorry that you had to come over but this board helps a ton. Hugs.

    My heart is as open as the sky.
    Read about it on the blog

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    2 Corinthians 12:9 But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.


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  • Mermaid1979Mermaid1979

    I'm so very sorry for your loss and that you're having to endure this heartbreak too-- I know how hard it is. I only found out I miscarried over this past wknd (at ~ 6 wks) and I have been having a hard time adjusting to this new reality, as well. As you described, it has definitely been a rollercoaster of emotions--  yes, when I start to feel like I'm doing ok, I will just start crying again on and off.

    I can see that this will take time to heal from and I think the best we can do is to try to take care of ourselves and be gentle with ourselves. I can tell that most people will not understand what we're going through and they feel bad, but usually don't know what to say. It's almost like having a silent funeral for an invisible person-- at least that's what it's been like for me. I hadn't gotten to see the baby yet, but it's still very difficult in spite of that.

    It's good that you came here and I'm glad you started posting-- it has helped me a little bit, even though I don't feel "better." Having a community who understands is such a precious thing... I'm so so sorry that you are here, but I'm glad that you found this place.

    BFP #1: 3/23/11 natural m/c: 4/1/11 @ 5 wks 5 d Taking a break from TTC to sort out health issues and finish grad school... "I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain." -- Frank Herbert
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  • MissAutumnMissAutumn

    I'm sorry for your loss Smiles.Sad

    I think the hardest thing for me has been that baby had a good heartbeat and I was able to hear it and see baby 2 days before the miscarraige.

    Sending hugs your way.

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  • LaTi07LaTi07 member

    I'm so sorry for your loss. I can say this board is full of amazing women that have been so supportive of me, so I hope you are able to find the support you need as well.

    I know how hard losing a little one can be. We had the rollercoaster from h*ll with our pregnancy. First they thought I had an ectopic pregnancy, u/s confirmed uterine pregnancy, but baby measured 2 weeks behind. Took beta levels, weren't doubling, diagnosed with a blighted ovum. Went in for my u/s to confirm the blighted ovum and saw a healthy baby with a good heartbeat! I was over the moon excited. 2 days later I started spotting. 2nd u/s showed baby was a-okay. Sunday morning I lost the baby. It was h*ll. Since then I've been up, I've been down.

    I'm wishing you a speedy and relatively painfree recovery, at least physically.


    My Old Blog | My Chart | TTCAL Shenanigans
    ♥BFP #1 "Spawn"- 02/23/11 | EDD: 11/01/11 | natural m/c 03/20/11 @7w5d♥
    ♥BFP #2 "Offspring"- 11/10/12 | EDD: 07/25/13 | incomplete m/c 12/14/12 @8w1d | D&C 12/21/12♥
    ♥BFP #3 "Progeny" - 02/16/15 | It's a BOY!! | EDD: 10/17/15 | BD: 10/23/15♥
    All AL Always Welcome

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  • JessMike07JessMike07 member
    :::HUGE HUGS::: I'm sorry you are here as well but think you will find much comfort and support. I'm so sorry for your loss.
    ~Jess & Mike May 12, 2007
    12.6.07 CP at 5w
    5.21.08 BO discovered at 7w, D&E at 8w3d
    8.31.08 CP at 4w5d
    BFP Sept 25, 2008 bfp buddy lkstor Landon born June 6, 2009
    3.25.11 missed m/c discovered at 9w6d, D&E at 10w2d
    4.28.11 MTHFR a1298c homozygous discovered
    4.2011 Began NaProTechnology
    10.12.11 Diagnosed with Type III Luteal Phase Defect
    10.2011 Starting hcg injections on 5, 7 & 9 dpo
    BFP 12.7.11 - EDD 8.14.12 - IT'S A BOY! Fruit Baby
    Life During and After RPL
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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