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Guess I might be coming over here...

simo7079simo7079
in Single Parents

So H and I have had a rocky relationshit from the get go.  There have been a couple things that have happened that should have stopped me from marrying him, and having a child with him (however I would never change that now).  

When we were dating he cheated on me, when we got engaged I saw conversations w/ girls that a fiance should not be having w/ women he's not engaged to, after I was pregnant we got into a fight and he got physical with me.  When I was about ready to have Kay I found conversations w/ his ex telling her he liked her body and things of that nature.  So I confronted him and he talked his way out of it saying it was a one time thing and then got rid of the conversation...I always knew there was more to it.  But, being the detective I am I have found all these old conversations and when I was 5-6 months pregnant he was video chatting w/ her and having sexual conversations w/ her on Skype.  I also found an email he sent to a couple of his friends asking if they knew where his wedding ring was b/c he had taken it off before going out to the bar.  

He's sleeping now, he's gonna be mad I went through his computer but at this point I don't care.  I feel like I did this to myself, and I never should have married him in the 1st place.  I do have a beautiful daughter from him though, so I can't say it wasn't worth the anger I'm feeling towards him now.  So when he wakes up I'm gonna tell him to go to his mother's and he'll get her on days I work and I'll figure out our situation later.  

I feel like I'm doing my daughter and injustice if she doesn't have both her parents together.  But at this point, I would be a fool to just up and forgive him again.  I'll never trust him and if you don't have trust you have nothing.  I'm hoping this board will provide some support.  You women are amazing that you do it by yourselves.   

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Re: Guess I might be coming over here...

  • QS82QS82

    So here's the thing, you have this beautiful little girl now and the opportunity to show her that women should not put up with abusive, manipulative, dishonest men just because they hold the label "Daddy." You are doing the right thing by kicking his cheating asss out the door now rather than once he's put you in traction in the hospital.

    I'll say it again: you are doing the right thing.

    It's going to be hard. And there are probably going to be more revelations of indiscretion and lying and manipulation. You are going to need a strong support system to get through that. But you are already proving that you are a strong mama because you are doing what's right for yourself and your child.

    Hang in there and good luck. We're here when you need us.

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  • simo7079simo7079
    imageQS82:

    So here's the thing, you have this beautiful little girl now and the opportunity to show her that women should not put up with abusive, manipulative, dishonest men just because they hold the label "Daddy." You are doing the right thing by kicking his cheating asss out the door now rather than once he's put you in traction in the hospital.

    I'll say it again: you are doing the right thing.

    It's going to be hard. And there are probably going to be more revelations of indiscretion and lying and manipulation. You are going to need a strong support system to get through that. But you are already proving that you are a strong mama because you are doing what's right for yourself and your child.

    Hang in there and good luck. We're here when you need us.

    Thank you so much 

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  • achase123achase123

    You want my honest opinion here?

    I am concerned that this is a drive-by post.  You are mad and you just went through his computer and found damning evidence of cheating, innappropriate things, etc.  However, when he wakes up and "explains" it all away, you will still be upset, but you will let him stay for just one more day, and then he will bring home flowers, and dinner, and tell you that it was "just a big misunderstanding baby" and then you'll go to bed and have hot make-up sex and this post will be something that you DD later because you don't want a nasty little reminder of the said misunderstanding between you and your wonderful H.  You'll go back to your regular month board and back to sticking your head in the sand.

    Want to prove me wrong?

    You knew who your husband was when you married him.  He's simply being the person he was all along.  Do you want to live your life like this and show your daughter that you put up with being treated poorly and living a lie, all in the name of keeping your family together?

    It's no way to live.  I lived like that for almost a year.  My advice: get into counseling.  Grow some balls.  Ditch your Douchebag husband, who has undoubtedly cheated on you multiple times (wild guess says he has an adultfriendfinder.com account and advertises for sex on CL).  Oh, and get tested for STD's, who knows how careful he has been.

    And, when you are ready to get REAL and leave him for good, come back to this board.  These ladies are an excellent source of support and MANY have been in your exact same shoes.

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  • haleyw458haleyw458 member
    imageachase123:

    You want my honest opinion here?

    I am concerned that this is a drive-by post.  You are mad and you just went through his computer and found damning evidence of cheating, innappropriate things, etc.  However, when he wakes up and "explains" it all away, you will still be upset, but you will let him stay for just one more day, and then he will bring home flowers, and dinner, and tell you that it was "just a big misunderstanding baby" and then you'll go to bed and have hot make-up sex and this post will be something that you DD later because you don't want a nasty little reminder of the said misunderstanding between you and your wonderful H.  You'll go back to your regular month board and back to sticking your head in the sand.

    Want to prove me wrong?

    You knew who your husband was when you married him.  He's simply being the person he was all along.  Do you want to live your life like this and show your daughter that you put up with being treated poorly and living a lie, all in the name of keeping your family together?

    It's no way to live.  I lived like that for almost a year.  My advice: get into counseling.  Grow some balls.  Ditch your Douchebag husband, who has undoubtedly cheated on you multiple times (wild guess says he has an adultfriendfinder.com account and advertises for sex on CL).  Oh, and get tested for STD's, who knows how careful he has been.

    And, when you are ready to get REAL and leave him for good, come back to this board.  These ladies are an excellent source of support and MANY have been in your exact same shoes.

    This exactly.

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  • PrincessFiona9PrincessFiona9 member

    I was thinking the same thing achase, as I went through almost aallll of this stuff, plus EX is an addict, but I didn't end the relationship until DD was about 5 months old. It took DD actually being here for me to really get my strength and take that step.

    OP---please do the right thing for you and your LO.

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