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August 2011 Moms
LJR 84
member
If you're working now but plan on SAH. Question!
LJR 84
member
My boss just called me in to ask me how much time I plan on taking for my maternity leave. I told her 8 weeks.
However, as of right now, I'm leaning towards staying at home after this baby is born. It's certainly not definite as I also want to see how staying home with 2u2 goes, but it's a strong possibility. I feel so guilty leading on that I'll be coming back when I might not! The reality of the situation is that I still might come back, I just don't know for sure yet.
What kind of situation is everyone else in? If you're definitely not coming back, have you told your employer? If not, when do you plan on telling them?
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Re: If you're working now but plan on SAH. Question!
not giving proper notice is completely unprofessional and could very well burn a lot of bridges if you ever want or need to work again.
Not to mention, you can be on the hook for both your full insurance premium and any pay (outside of vacation/sick time used) you get while on leave if you don't go back.
You don't necessarily need to tell before labor, but if you're home for 2 weeks and you know you want to stay home, tell them then. Don't wait until the day you're supposed to go back.
Why can't you just be honest with them about your intentions?
I am in the same boat as you. My future is very uncertain whether I go back to work or not. So I talked with my friend who is an HR manager at another company (simialr to mine) and she said its extremely common for women to not decide until later on and after their leave to decide that staying at home is the better choice then put in their notice after the leave is over. They also don't look down on it either, but do keep in mind that they may need to rehire if the person decides to not return or to keep their temp on longer.
So if I was to decide to sah after i get maternity benefits, it shouldnt surprise anyone. Also, since I am and have been a full time employee I wouldnt have to return the money. I dont know if this is diferent per company or per state though.
We are about 60% sure ill stay home, but until we're 100% we have decided to not mention that I would leave to my boss. I have hinted here and there that sah and working from home would be the best option for me to my boss. So mid way through my leave, I plan to contact my work and see if they would be more open to me working from home. If not and nothing changes (less hours or allowing me to work part time) then I think I would put in my notice then. But I have started telling my boss that being at home with the baby is important.
Like I said, there's still a chance I will be coming back. Why would I tell them now that I might not be coming back? I'm not protected by FMLA so they could easily replace me if they thought there was any chance I wouldn't be coming back.
I'd give at least a two weeks notice if I decided to stay home- I don't find that to be unprofessional in the least.
I already know that insurance benefits would not have to be paid back, so that's not an issue.
I agree with all of this! I know plenty of people who have either not decided or changed their minds while on maternity leave. My husband and one of our best friends work in HR (at different companies) and I asked them what they thought and they both said not to say anything until I know for sure and that PLENTY of women do this all the time. I don't think its unprofessional at all to not give notice before you start your leave, but I would tell them as soon as you know for sure. I am planning on staying home but I'm still considering working part time. My boss has asked me what my plans are several times and what I say is that I'm thinking about all of the options (staying full time, working part time, and staying home) and I haven't decided yet. Last time she brought it up I also said that I may not decide until the baby gets here because I think it is hard to know for sure how I will feel before then. Right now staying home sounds great, but after 8 weeks of maternity leave I might decide that I want to work part time.
I knew I was not going to come back after taking my maternity leave, and I told my employer well ahead of time. They were very grateful to me for giving them extra time to find a replacement, and I was still given my full maternity leave, plus short term disability payments. I didn't want to burn any bridges.
If you think you run the risk of being fired for telling them, then I would not. But I don't think it's fair to an employer to leave them in a lurch. And additionally, I think stuff like this makes it harder for women, and pregnant women, to be hired.
Although I could also get into an entire tangent about how the US puts women in this position by not having standard paid maternity leave...
I will not be returning to work and I will absolutely be letting my boss and clients know sooner than later. My position is different in that I'm only paid commission and have no benefits (leave, STD or FMLA, etc) so it doesn't make sense not to let everyone know my decision.
I'll start turning over my clients to other coworkers throughout the summer and slowly wind down my business. I'd say that I'll be completely done by the beginning of August.
I've actually seen this topic get very heated on the boards before.
I believe I could tell my employer that I might not come back, and I don't think they would look to replace me. But even if they did, I was honest and maintained my integrity. I guess I would think of that as making the decision to not come back (to that particular job) a little easier and I would either SAH, or find something else as I could. I just don't think it's really ever okay to be misleading or dishonest. That's why this topic really amuses me so...I'm sure no one who thinks this is okay intends to teach their children that "sometimes lying is okay"...but we seem to think that in this one case, lying to our employers is okay. It really bothers me.
And again, like PP mentioned - I think it's bad for women. For all women, which includes our daughters who might want to work outside of the home someday, and might face discrimination by people who have seen this happen one too many times.
I understand what you're saying if you're in a situation where you're definitely not coming back. If you don't for sure, then why would you throw yourself under the bus by telling them "Hey, I might come back...might not"? If you have a job where you know they wouldn't replace you, then that's great...but not everyone does. When I had DD I thought I was going to stay home- but ended up changing my mind. I'm SO glad that I didn't tell them I wasn't coming back before I left for my maternity leave!
I think the smartest thing to do is to wait until you know for sure to tell them anything. Obviously, the sooner you let them know the better...but you have to do what's best for your family. If I were to decide working would ultimately be best for my family, I sure as hell wouldn't benefit from telling them now that there's a chance I won't be coming back. I know for a fact that they'd start looking for someone to replace me right now.
In my opinion, if I decide 4 weeks into my ML that I'm not coming back, that would be more than enough notice for them. It would give them a good month to find someone. In any other situation I probably would have only given them a 2 weeks notice.