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Any of you pregnant after losing a child?

StephK86StephK86
in New to The Bump

Hi I am new here. I am pregnant with my second child which I am happy about. I had my first beautiful baby boy last April named Gavin. He was almost two months early so he spent his first week in the NICU getting stronger and learning to breathe on his own. I was horrifed when I had him and the took him right off to the NICU and I couldn't even hold my new baby other then right after I had him. Within days he got stronger and the nurse asked if I wanted to hold him. It was the happiest day for me. He cuddled so close into me like he had been waiting for me too. I couldn't believe how beautiful he was and that he was mine. I spent all my hours in the NICU until the glorious day when he could come home with me. I couldn't put him down when we got home. I was the happiest momma ever. Gavin was growing fast at home and seemed like he was perfectly healthy. I took him to his first check up where I asked about his sniffles but they said he was fine. A few days later my beautiful boy fell ill and passed away in the PICU two days after his hospital arrival. He had staph and ecoli pneumonia that he caught at the hospital but they never caught at discharge or his checkup. I would never wish the sadnees I feel every day on anyone. I never knew that you could hurt as bad as I do. I just wondered if there was other moms like me who had to suffer with the lost of a child while getting ready to have another baby. I must say I am a nervous wreck and am happy, sad, angry, scared all at the same time.

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Re: Any of you pregnant after losing a child?

  • callmeAl19callmeAl19
    I am not in the same boat as you, but I just wanted to say that I'm so sorry for your loss.  I miscarried back in October at 12wks, but I can't imagine the heartbreak of taking a child home and having them pass away so suddenly.  You might want to check out the Pregnant After Loss board.  There are some great ladies over there, some of whom may be able to relate to your situation.  Happy & Healthy 9 months to you and your little one!
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  • StephK86StephK86
    Thank you! I know how hard a miscarriage can be my mom had three when I was much older so I remember them all. I am sorry that you had to go through that. I appreciate your response and I will check out that board.
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  • LIa0909LIa0909

    All of the loss boards are great whether you are still grieving (pregnancy loss) ttc (TTC after loss) or already pregnant... Well, I don't know the ladies on PgAL but since everyone else has been so wonderful I don't doubt its the same there.

    Of course there are not many of us in the "infant loss" category. But I realized by interacting on the loss boards that the grief and pain of losing a child is much the same whether you were six weeks pregnant or your child was 6 weeks old.

    Best of luck to you!

    Lilypie - Personal pictureLilypie Angel and Memorial tickers
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