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October 2011 Moms
anyone think of having the shower after the baby is born?
I am a little superstitious about having a shower before the baby is born.
but then practically, if we register for things for the baby, it makes sense to have the shower before hand so we are ready.
but then again, a lot of people end up bringing clothes for the baby anyway and I know the parents and ILs will probably buy the big stuff anyway. (as well as us)
anyone have any opinions?
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Re: anyone think of having the shower after the baby is born?
Mine will likely be before and with the history of preterm labor in our group of friends, probably a couple of months before the EDD. We're all a little gunshy now about waiting too long to host showers.
That being said, there are plenty of cultures in which the shower is not thrown until after the baby is born because of fears of jinxing a healthy birth. Off the top of my head, I think orthodox jews typically wait until after the baby arrives to have a shower. (Someone correct me if I'm wrong here.)
I'd say whatever you would prefer should be taken into consideration by whomever is hosting a shower for you.
also a very important point. Do I want to take my 2 month old baby out in December (and Xmas conflicts) with all those winter germs? probably not.
Your right in Jewish culture you don't tempt fate by giving any baby gifts or buying ANYTHING for the baby before they are born.
so does the Dad run to the crib store while the Mom is pushing the baby out?
Are you putting a 2 day old baby in a full size crib? I went into labor 2 weeks before my scheduled shower and we had bought 0 things we actually needed. I went into the hospital monday, came home sunday and baby came home the next day. Everything we needed was there and set up by family and friends. The only thing we realistically needed was diapers, a bassinet, a car seat and a couple outfits. The NICU nurses will actually send clothes home with you if you have nothing and brought in some nice outfits for E while he was in the NICU.
I completely understand the reasoning behind having a shower after the baby is born, but I don't think I could do it. I can't imagine having come home from the hospital with my son and have nothing ready for him. It seems like it would be so difficult to run to the store to buy diapers, cltohes, etc. If your family lives nearby and could get everything ready while you are in the hospital it would be more doable. I also wouldn't have had any interest in having a shower for at least a couple months after my son was born.
Not to be a downer, but there is never a guarantee in life. You can have a shower before the baby is born and not get to take home a baby, but having a shower after the baby is born doesn't guarantee that everything will be fine the next day. One of my friends lost her baby to SIDS at 10 days old, my next door neighbor lost hers at 6 months. I still get nervous when I plan too far ahead for my son. I always feel like I'm tempting fate when I plan ahead, but sometimes you just have to.
IVF #1 - BFP (6dt)
Unassisted Pregnancy #2 - lost at 15w6d due to T21, severe heart defects, and fetal hydrops
My parents were actually shopping for furniture for me when my mom's water broke.
If I was pregnant alone and didn't have to account for anyone else's preferences, I would forgo the shower altogether because of my upbringing (we're Jewish - I was raised not to tempt the "evil eye," etc.). That said, DH really wants people to buy us stuff and is worried that they won't if we don't have a shower. If anyone asks what I want, they'll be told that I would prefer to wait until after the baby is born. We'll deal with timing and the holidays as it comes. I'd rather do that than pretend to stick my head in the sand about my long-held beliefs.
Having said all that, I am pretty sure some of my coworkers will do something before the baby is born. And if no one around me consults with me about it, I guess my friends might too. I'm trying not to think too much about it. I could see myself, even though I honestly would rather skip it, being hurt if no one did one. I'm difficult.
My BFP Chart
Becoming a better role model for my daughter, one day at a time
good point. now, I am goingto be anxious my whole life - lol!
and cant I put the baby in a full size crib from day1. we dont have room for a basinnete
That'd be my main concern. I'd do it before, especially since you aren't superstitious enough not to buy stuff in general... I guess I dont see the point? Of course, I'm not superstitious, so that is over my head entirely.
Joseph Henry was born at home on March 9, 2009
Nora Mae was born at home on October 30, 2011
I view it as sort of two separate things. You need certain things for practical purposes, like a car seat (like Lopes said), bassinet, diapers, etc. But a lot of things can wait.
And part of my reluctance with a shower is that you aren't just buying those things, you're making a very public display of your expectation/entitlement to the forthcoming baby. The public part is the part that just doesn't sit well with me. It seems to invite the sort of evil-eye stuff I was always warned against.
My BFP Chart
Becoming a better role model for my daughter, one day at a time
haha, yeah I think I'm more nervous now than I was when I was pregnant with my son. I've always been a bit anxious about things, but now that I have my son I'm much worse. We had a pretty bad car accident in December where a car hit us right where my son sits and now I feel guilty everytime I put him in the car because I feel like I'm risking his life (which technically I am, but everything you do can be risky so I'm working on relaxing
)
IVF #1 - BFP (6dt)
Unassisted Pregnancy #2 - lost at 15w6d due to T21, severe heart defects, and fetal hydrops
sure, or a box, laundry basket, or drawer [remember from MM]. hehe. or more likely, with you. back when all these traditions were started for waiting until baby arrived, there was no such thing as a crib.
Joseph Henry was born at home on March 9, 2009
Nora Mae was born at home on October 30, 2011
You don't need much for a baby, so wait if that's what you want to do. Diapers, wipes, clothes, a bed and boobs/bottles and formula are the only essentials.
PB, I would hope that your friends would respect your wishes and if you prefer that gifts are bought/given after the baby is here, that they would do that. I know if I had a friend in your situation, I'd make it clear to them that I was doing something for them, but that the party would be thrown or the gift would arrive after the baby is here. I would still shop the registry and all that jazz, but it wouldn't hurt me to wait to do it. KWIM?
We haven't gotten any gifts so far. I think most of the people who would be buying gifts (family members who bought us engagement gifts even though we didn't have an engagement party, etc.) are of the same mindset as me. But I have no idea what my mom, best friend, stepsister, etc. intend to do, particularly as none of them has talked to me about it.
The situation is complicated by the fact that DH, who is also Jewish, is pretty much indifferent to my crazy no-shower philosophy. So if anyone goes to him asking what they should do, he'll tell them to go ahead with it, I suspect.
ETA: Thanks, though, SPG. I like to think at least some of my friends will be sensitive to this, but I'm also aware that, especially to people who haven't heard of this thought process before, it probably sounds pretty nuts.
My BFP Chart
Becoming a better role model for my daughter, one day at a time
I just got invited to a baby shower for a friend. It'll be about 4 weeks after she gave birth to her son. I see both sides to the topic... afterwards is great b/c you can gender specific gifts and show off the baby and having it before is nice because mom gets to relax and enjoy the shower without having to take care of a baby or worry about who is holding it. FYI, at our shower we got a high chair, bouncy seat, etc all things you don't need right away.
Make a pregnancy ticker
my shower will be before my babys born, im due OCTOBER 20th and my birthday is August 20th so i think it would pretty cool to have my shower on my birthday even tho its still 2 months away
its ok lol
My sister in law had her shower for her daughter after she was born. We live out of town and were planning a trip in right before her due date. She had the baby about 2 weeks before her due date, and we came in about 2 weeks later. The shower was planned for when we were visiting and invitations had already been sent. It was super fun for us as guests, we all got to see baby Joss and take pictures of her. She had her own little coming out party!
I think my sister in law was a little bitter, though, that the baby was getting all the attention. She is planning a shower for her second, even though she already has stuff. This one will be about 6 weeks before the due date!
Because we are the distance people, I'll be having mine pregnant. We are not traveling over the holidays with a tiny baby. No thanks!
"God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it" 1 Corinthians 10:13