Anyone else with LOs who are multiracial?

HappyDaze12 · April 2011

My kids are biracial (white/black). I have always thought of them as biracial though I know that when they are older they might identify themselves as one more than another (based on my experience with my biracial friends).I read an article about Halle Berry in which she said that she identifies her daughter as Black because she believes in the "one drop theory".

Anyway, last weekend DH took the boys over to the ILs house and they were playing on the Wii. When DS1 made his Mii (Wii character) he chose a white one so DH said, "Donovan thinks he's white". I think it's more that he just picked one that looked somewhat like him. At 3, I think he doesn't fully grasp the concept of different races and especially the fact that he is biracial.

So, my question is: How do you identify your bi/multiracial kids? At what point do you think that they are capable of identifying themselves?

had720 · April 2011

Hello, I don't have kids that are multiracial, but my niece is mixed black and white. She is 8 years old and now knows that she has white and black in her. When she was younger she thought she was white because her skin was very white (my brother is very light even though he is black and her mom is all white). As she got older she realized that she had black in her too (due to her aunties and uncles on dad's side were black (brown to her)). I think as your son gets older, you can explain to him that he has both, he may embrace both cultures.

kristen0393 · April 2011

My SS (12) is bi racial and usually identifies himself as being black even with a very Irish last name. Smile

I think it's mostly because his mom is very dark & he looks more black then white. It may be partly because his father, myself & most of the kids in his school are white so it makes him different. I think all that is important is that he knows who he is, where he comes from & that he is loved.

rg8482 · April 2011

My DH is bi-racial (Hispanic/Asian), but identifies more with the Hispanic because he was born in Cuba. His mom is Cuban and his dad who is the Asian one was also born in Cuba. The story is a bit sketchy but his grandfather was born in China and wound up in Cuba somehow. None of them know Chinese as the grandfather was busy trying to learn Spanish.

I'm also a Hispanic mutt (not Cuban), so E will probably identify more with that race, but it kind of makes me sad because she will never know much about her Asian roots.

director_bride · April 2011

I'm black and my husband is puerto rican/italian/irish. We plan to make sure our son is aware of his entire make up. I believe your theory of why your son chose his Wii Mii. Kids don't know. Our son is only 4 months but he has no clue that Mommy and Daddy aren't the same race. I don't think he will until someone makes a point to mention it or he gets old enough to understand that not every kid comes from a multiracial house.

That being said I understand where Halle is coming from. Ultimately, our son will decide how he identifies himself. I hope that we do a good job as parents an make sure he embraces ALL of his make up. I do believe that you can identifying with one race doesn't mean you don't have an appreciation and love for the rest of your heritage. However, I've always felt that once my husband and I had children, no matter if their skin was as brown as mine or as white as their father's, once "society" knew their mother was black, they would be considered black. That is my opinion and my opinion only. My husband an I understand that. However, America's multiracial population is growing rapidly. So, maybe as our child comes of age that will change.

HappyDaze12 · April 2011

had720:
Hello, I don't have kids that are multiracial, but my niece is mixed black and white. She is 8 years old and now knows that she has white and black in her. When she was younger she thought she was white because her skin was very white (my brother is very light even though he is black and her mom is all white). As she got older she realized that she had black in her too (due to her aunties and uncles on dad's side were black (brown to her)). I think as your son gets older, you can explain to him that he has both, he may embrace both cultures.

Oh absolutely. I definitely want them both to be proud of their multicultural background!

HappyDaze12 · April 2011

kristen0393:
My SS (12) is bi racial and usually identifies himself as being black even with a very Irish last name. I think it's mostly because his mom is very dark & he looks more black then white. It may be partly because his father, myself & most of the kids in his school are white so it makes him different. I think all that is important is that he knows who he is, where he comes from & that he is loved.

This is so true. My boys are surrounded by people of all races who love them. I just think the whole topic is so interesting.

HappyDaze12 · April 2011

rg8482:

My DH is bi-racial (Hispanic/Asian), but identifies more with the Hispanic because he was born in Cuba. His mom is Cuban and his dad who is the Asian one was also born in Cuba. The story is a bit sketchy but his grandfather was born in China and wound up in Cuba somehow. None of them know Chinese as the grandfather was busy trying to learn Spanish.

I'm also a Hispanic mutt (not Cuban), so E will probably identify more with that race, but it kind of makes me sad because she will never know much about her Asian roots.

You should definitely try to incorporate some of her Asian heritage into her upbringing. The internet is a wonderful source!

MrsQueale · April 2011

This is a hard topic. I am biracial, black/white. My bio father (black) was never around, and I was brought up in a white family. I didn't notice any difference between me and my half siblings. I identified myself as white. Now I am proud of both my races, age and maturity has played a big role. Now that I am older with my own kids I have made it a point to let them know who they are. Makayla is just starting to have questions about why she is white and I am darker and why is Kirstin darker. 1ht

HappyDaze12 · April 2011

director_bride:

I'm black and my husband is puerto rican/italian/irish. We plan to make sure our son is aware of his entire make up. I believe your theory of why your son chose his Wii Mii. Kids don't know. Our son is only 4 months but he has no clue that Mommy and Daddy aren't the same race. I don't think he will until someone makes a point to mention it or he gets old enough to understand that not every kid comes from a multiracial house.

That being said I understand where Halle is coming from. Ultimately, our son will decide how he identifies himself. I hope that we do a good job as parents an make sure he embraces ALL of his make up. I do believe that you can identifying with one race doesn't mean you don't have an appreciation and love for the rest of your heritage. However, I've always felt that once my husband and I had children, no matter if their skin was as brown as mine or as white as their father's, once "society" knew their mother was black, they would be considered black. That is my opinion and my opinion only. My husband an I understand that. However, America's multiracial population is growing rapidly. So, maybe as our child comes of age that will change.

I definitely agree about appreciating/loving all of their heritage. I plan to make sure my kids know all about both sides of their family.

Newbie9850 · April 2011

I absolutely agree with this. My 4 month old son is biracial. I'm black and my husband is white. At this age, our son doesn't see any difference between his white family and his black family. My DH and I agreed way before he was born that he would know both sides of his wonderful family. My family is from Barbados and have relatives all over: Barbados, London, NYC, etc. so he will travel and learn about both sides...because in fact, he's both black and white.

It's true, at this time in America, that some people might see him as "black" because of his complexion, but as this nation grows, I hope that outlook will change when he gets older. All that matters is that you and your husband show love to your LO and speak to him honestly about his heritage. Your LO will see the beauty in it, just as you do.

kanela13 · April 2011

I'm biracial (Japanese/White) and I've always said I am white because when I was younger I was teased for having the Asian eyes. Then when I got a little older and the class was studying WWII I always felt uncomfortable when Pearl Harbor was brought up. I felt that everyone was looking at me and I was kind of ashamed for my heritage. My sister went through this too.

When I got older and into HS it wasn't such a big deal and I became more OK with who I was. It also helped that there were other mixed people around that I was friends with. Now I'm proud of my background and wished I was raised with more of the Japanese culture and not completely white-washed.

My DS is going to know he has Japanese in him and I am hoping he'll embrace it and be proud; plus the eyes are hard to hide! lol

ValentineBB · April 2011

Sadie is multiracial, I am white and her dad is Hispanic (Mexican). I don't really identify her as anything specific, she's such a mutt, but I'll leave it to her as to how to identify herself. As of now all her dad's Hispanic genes have expressed in her more obviously, so she may identify herself that way simply b/c she looks more Hispanic than white.

HappyDaze12 · April 2011

kanela13:

I'm biracial (Japanese/White) and I've always said I am white because when I was younger I was teased for having the Asian eyes. Then when I got a little older and the class was studying WWII I always felt uncomfortable when Pearl Harbor was brought up. I felt that everyone was looking at me and I was kind of ashamed for my heritage. My sister went through this too.

When I got older and into HS it wasn't such a big deal and I became more OK with who I was. It also helped that there were other mixed people around that I was friends with. Now I'm proud of my background and wished I was raised with more of the Japanese culture and not completely white-washed.

My DS is going to know he has Japanese in him and I am hoping he'll embrace it and be proud; plus the eyes are hard to hide! lol

I'm so sorry that you had to deal with that! That sounds terrible. I hope as time goes on, people will be judged for their actions & character, not by how they look.

Jenny SB · April 2011

I am white and my husband is Hispanic (Mexican). We are trying very hard to make sure he is exposed to both cultures. He is cared for 1-2 days/week by my husband's aunt and grandma, who only speak spanish to him. We are hoping that he will grow up bilingual like DH did.

To be honest, I forget most of the time that I am part of a multi-racial relationship and I hope that my son grows up that way too. It doesn't really matter to me what race he identifies with more, I guess we are thinking that if we raise him with exposure to both he will just turn out as a well-rounded individual.

Amazingly, he has very light skin and blond hair, which never ceases to amaze me. I thought for sure I would have a baby that looked nothing like me.

Cam1027 · April 2011

MrsQueale:
This is a hard topic. I am biracial, black/white. My bio father (black) was never around, and I was brought up in a white family. I didn't notice any difference between me and my half siblings. I identified myself as white. Now I am proud of both my races, age and maturity has played a big role. Now that I am older with my own kids I have made it a point to let them know who they are. Makayla is just starting to have questions about why she is white and I am darker and why is Kirstin darker. 1ht

My LO's dad is biracial (black/white). His parents divorced when he was really little and he was also brought up in a white family (his mom).
You can't really tell that my LO is multiracial. Besides his huge brown eyes, when mine are as bright green as you can get!!

I guess I will havet to wait and see if he ask questions when he is older?

On a random side note... How do you mark all those forms for your LO when they ask about ethnicity? I know this is probably a ridiculous question, but if you can't mark more than one how do you decide?

and ps. MrsQueale, your DD's are BEAUTIFUL! I always love your siggy pictures!

lulu3061 · April 2011

Jenny SB:
I am white and my husband is Hispanic (Mexican). We are trying very hard to make sure he is exposed to both cultures. He is cared for 1-2 days/week by my husband's aunt and grandma, who only speak spanish to him. We are hoping that he will grow up bilingual like DH did.
To be honest, I forget most of the time that I am part of a multi-racial relationship and I hope that my son grows up that way too. It doesn't really matter to me what race he identifies with more, I guess we are thinking that if we raise him with exposure to both he will just turn out as a well-rounded individual.
Amazingly, he has very light skin and blond hair, which never ceases to amaze me. I thought for sure I would have a baby that looked nothing like me.

MH is Indian and I am white, I totally thought my kiddos would be slightly lighter versions of MH but we were both surprised that LO is my carbon-copy,,,genes are weird!

aabreu32 · April 2011

Not that anyone can tell by looking but DD is multiracial. DH is half Cuban/half Puerto Rican. DD however, is the palest, whitest baby around - so I think she will likely identify as white.

Kitiara5512 · April 2011

I am Asian (middle eastern, nor far east) and DH is white. C looks just like DH, down to his eyes going gray instead of darkening to brown, and even his hair is lightening up to brown instead of black like mine, and he is currently paler than DH although that may change when he gets some sun exposure.

He goes to an Asian sitter from my parents church, and then spends the afternoon with my mother and goes to prayers Friday evenings. He probably has more exposure to Asians than white people, which is okay with DH and I because all of our friends are mostly white with a couple of other races and most of my coworkers are either black or white and we want him exposed to all races. The sitter and my mom speak to him exclusively in Urdu and DH and I use English because its easier to be bilingual when young.

HappyDaze12 · April 2011

Cam1027:

On a random side note... How do you mark all those forms for your LO when they ask about ethnicity? I know this is probably a ridiculous question, but if you can't mark more than one how do you decide?

For every form that I have encountered for my boys thus far you can chose more than one option. For DS1 on the Census I checked Caucasian and African American.

HappyDaze12 · April 2011

mbenit4:

I am not really sure what you mean when you say "identify." I haven't taught my children anything about race as of yet. I don't think it is necessary. I know when DD draws herself she uses a brown crayon. She has said before she is light brown and that I am pink. She doesn't talk about people as "white" or "black" yet. Then again we don't either.

When I have to fill out paperwork most of the time you don't have to answer if you don't want to. I the census I listed DD as black and hispanic ethnicity because that is what she is.

I mean do you see her as biracial, black, hispanic. Halle Berry sees her daughter as black. I see my kids as biracial. I just find it interesting that different people have different viewpoints, YKWIM?

DS1 has never mentioned anything about his skin color, or mine, or DH's either. I am just curious about when he will start to talk about it and what he will think.

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