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mdotm0904
member
Just because we're having a baby together.... (vent)
mdotm0904
member
....doesn't mean that i'm supposed to be available for you whenever you want like i'm some kind of sex slave. my child's father & I were in such a gray area relationship (he wanted all of the benefits & perks of a relationship w/o the titles & responsibilities. I went along with this as much as for almost a year until i realized that i'm the one losing & i didn't want it anymore. So i tried (in an effort to save our "friendship") to cut off the intimacy part thinking it'd be ok bcuz we were "just friends" anyway, & he's honestly made my life a living hell since then!
It's been 3months exactly since I found out I was pregnant & "kicked him to the curb". It made it tough to hang out w/him as just friends because he would still always make sexual comments & advances towards me (calling & texting in the middle of the night, trying to come over. Using our baby as leverage "i'll give up custody if you keep giving me oral like u used to") & it's HARD trying to be firm but polite when turning someone down. So long story short, for the past 3months i've been able to turn down most of his advances. (i've slipped twice..well not gonna lie, didn't slip but only did it to appease him, thinking it would get him to leave me alone. I felt so horrible after that I let someone coerce me into having sex!)
Well last night he calls me at 3 am!!! ((after not speaking to me for a few days because I turned him down for sex on Saturday)) Mind you he KNOWS that I'm supposed to get up for work @ 6. i didnt answer because I know what he wanted. So then he calls me at work about 9 & asks me if i can give him oral sex before he goes out of town for 2 weeks!!!!! WHAT PART OF YOUR DELUSIONAL MIND KEEPS TELLING YOU THAT IT'S OK FOR YOU TO CONTINUALLY HARASS ME FOR SEXUAL FAVORS!??! I finally told him look, you're really pressuring me & I dont like it. He claims he had no idea that he was pressuring me...even though we've had this conversation NUMEROUS times before.
The part that disgusts me the most is that he tries to use custody of my child as some sort of leverage! (he took issue w/me saying that i want sole physical custody) I'm not gonna use my child as some bargaining tool! And you're absolutely SICK for suggesting it.
It's just frustrating. I'm really trying to play nice. Hoping for a peaceful coparenting situation even though we're not in a relationship anymore. But it seems like he's only willing to be nice if I give him what he wants in return...my body available whenever he wants it.
sorry for the allover vent but my friends & family all hate him so to tell them how he's been acting toward me will just add more fuel to the fire. & on my birth month boards everybody is so cheery with their DH's & SO's, didn't think they'd understand
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Just because we're having a baby together.... (vent)
He's acting this way because you are allowing him to. If you aren't together and you don't want to have a sexual relationship with him, you do not have to. Calling you/texting you and demanding sexual favors is disrespectful and unacceptable. Honestly he sounds quite sick and demented. Tell him to grab some lotion and a Playboy and knock himself out.
But seriously, why do you have this constant communication with him? Until your child is born there is no reason whatsoever to keep connected to him. You don't have to tell him about appointments, progress, or even when you go into labor. He doesn't have to be a part of your life, unless YOU allow it.
Stop talking to him. This man is not "your friend." You're allowing him to do this, so stop. Do your other friends treat you this way? I doubt it, so why do you allow him to treat you this way. You need to put some distance between you and this guy and set some boundries. Every time you give in you are telling him that it's okay for him to use you for his sexual needs. Stop being "nice". Nice gets you screwed.
And your friends and family see him for the person he really is, listen to them.
LOL! No pun intended, I swear!
This is exactly what I was thinking.
What a LOSER. (Him, not you OP!)
LOL! Much needed laugh today! Thanks