Is this feeling ever going to go away?!

allie_smalls07 · April 2011

I still feel nervous being alone with both kids! Why?? What the heck is wrong with me? Also - when DD is sleeping and I know she is going to wake up and need me to nurse her/tend to her needs/play with her I feel anxious. Do I need help?

Did anyone else have these feelings? I'm wondering if it will help when DD is truly mobile because then I won't be as preoccupied trying to keep her entertained when she is awake and DS won't be so jealous (or at least I'm telling myself that). I think knowing he is jealous is at the core of my issues...

Veteran 2u2 moms tell me I will get over this!

moonfaerie · April 2011

Aw hugs to you. If you are still feeling this way, you should talk to a professional about the anxiety it's causing to be alone with both kiddos. Six months in is a long time to still feel that way, I think.

Is your DD fascinated by your DS? For me, it helps that DD2 loves to watch DD1 play. We have trouble with DD2 because she is still fussy and requires a lot of holdiing, but she does like to watch DD1 so that helps us feel less pressure to entertain her.

monona9 · April 2011

I'm not a mom of 2u2, but I'm on my way there. I'm not sure about anxiety being uncommon, or for me it's not. I only have one little one now and I already know the feeling. I also have a 4 year old step-son and baby in the belly that has exhausted me - so when I put DD down for a nap and she wakes before she usually does I get that angst inside of me.

A lot of time I'm alone with them because DH works a lot of hours. And when DH is here I feel frustration because I know if we are relaxing and she wakes up he can't tend to her like I can and he certainly can't nurse her (lol). But when she does take a good nap or has a good night and I hear her I can't wait to go get her.

I don't know if this helps you any. Also, if you feel like you need help then maybe that's your answer. You're the best one to know the extent of your emotions/situation. Hope things get better!

hellopoppyseed · April 2011

I'm 6 months into this too but my older LO seems to be about 3 months younger than yours-so almost same situation. I really don't feel like DS1 is jealous. He has been going through some mommy clingy phase lately but I really think it's just a normal stage. You might really evaluate if you are imagining the jealousy or if it's real. Do you feel guilty about time away from your DS? Somewhere along the way I stopped feeling guilty. DS was going to get other siblings at some point. Also 2nd and 3rd children never have parents "all to themselves" and they don't feel a loss for it. I bet you are doing a great job of meeting everyone's needs. But you are having anxiety about meeting needs? I'm just thinking you need to think about what is making you anxious. Also celebrate the small successes like surviving the first 6 months. Don't hesitate to talk to a DR about it too. I felt I was having anxiety but realized it was exhaustion combined with too much caffeine. Just throwing that out there too. But the more you have successes with two LOs, the more confidence you will have. This is a bit random but hopefully there will be something you can identify with.

Telyco · April 2011

In the very beginning, with both babies...I had anxiety when they cried or in the anticipation that they were going to wake up soon and cry. It still happens to me sometimes when I hear a newborn. But I agree with a pp - I don't think you should be having this at 6mo pp. It may be worth a chat with your OB. GL!!

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