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Weigh in your opinions (long)
So I have a friend whose husband got back from a deployment mentally broken. We went to a birthday party at their house and he pushed her in front of us. And then proceeded to tell her to leave him because he wasn't right in the head.
Now this man lived and breathed her and their 3 boys. Like every other word was about them (he is my friend too). And he is just soo very different now. He has SEVERE PTSD. He is seeing doctors for it, but we don't see a change. He wants to get better, and he understands something is very wrong.
He has been building a tree house for his boys, so when he gets home everyday he goes straight to finishing their tree house. He doesn't want to be bothered, he just stays in his world. She came over crying because he had once again asked her to leave him because he wasn't "right", and that he didn't want to hurt her or the boys.
I know they love each other very much, and she really doesn't want to leave. And part of me fears IF she were to leave, could he handle not having them around. But then I think IF she stayed would he hurt them physically?
Soo I ask you ladies what she asked me
_________should I (she) stay with this man?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Weigh in your opinions (long)
Short answer is no. She needs to get her and the boys safe.
Longer answer. This is a scenario where I think a temporary separation will work. they need to separate till he gets back in control and she needs to separate to provide a stable violent free zone for her boys.
This should be with intense couples and indiviual counseling. And his meds need to be monitored and possibly changed to a stronger dosage or different combo.
And it takes a month or so for any mood stablizer to take full effect to even see if it's the right one. This going to be a long process.
She needs to get herself and her children stable and safe. It doesn't have to be done for good, it's get safe now and work to get back.
This
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Beta #1: 4/1 - 51.5 Beta #2: 4/3 - 189 Beta #3: 4/6 - 778.9
AMH: 1.06 FSH: 10.7
DS: 11/2010 Clomid + HCG Trigger + IUI + Progesterone
Your answer is what was in my gut. I'm usually the one saying for people to leave without skipping a beat, but I guess I have a soft spot for them because...
a) I have known them for years, and they have made it through a lot (his mother dieing then her father dieing)
b) I feel deep down inside that the way he is isn't his fault. Like I know the situation that has basically made him fear every shadow. And he is truely broken, and he knows it. He would die for any one of them, and I know that for sure.
c) I am honestly afraid that he would kill himself if they left. I know that its dramatic, but they are all he has. I know thats not a reason to stay but a lot of us (his friends) feel the same way.
If this is the case then maybe they need to consider inpatient treatment until he is no longer a danger to himself. It may not be that she and the kids need to leave, maybe he needs to go into treatment before coming back home. Good luck!
What a horrible story
She does need to leave if only temporarily. She needs to keep her kids safe and he is "Warning" her that something might happen which is a HUGE red flag. As much as she think she or doctors might be able to "fix" him, it's a huge struggle that he might need to deal with on his own before he begins to take it out on his family.