no heartbeat and waiting for miscarriage...

susmatt · April 2011

So I found out Friday, April Fool's Day, that our baby has no heartbeat. Today I would have been 11 weeks, but the baby only measured 9 weeks. I'm waiting to have a natural miscarriage. The doctor wants me to come in next Monday if nothing has happened. That would be 3 weeks which sounds like a long time. Has anyone else been in this situation? How long does this take?

chanteltbarrett · April 2011

I am sorry for your loss. I haven't been in your axact situation, but if you do not pass tissue on your own, you can have a D&C. They sound scary, but I had one and it was a good experience (as much as it could be anyway).

MissAutumn · April 2011

I have experienced a natural miscarriage and wished I could have had a D&C. I lost the baby 1w5d ago but have been having a natural miscarriage since. It makes it really hard (or at least it did for me) to start the healing process when your still going through it. I asked my doctor how long it would take and she said some woman take a week and some take several weeks.

Im so sorry for your loss.

TysiaTysia · April 2011

i was unable to wait.... was going to go completely insane... pills didn't do anything to induce the miscarriage and begged the doctor to do the D & C which was just fine; i was only sorry i didn't ask for D & C right at the moment when I found out that my baby died... (waited from Wednesday till Saturday for the D & C - this was absolute hell... if I had to wait a few weeks I would not be alive anymore...)

SymphonyGirl · April 2011

I'm so sorry that you are going through this. It can take a long time. We found out at 10 weeks that the baby had no heartbeat, but it only measured six weeks and two days. I waited another few days and did not miscarry naturally.

If you end up not wanting to wait any longer, I highly recommend having a D&C rather than taking pills like Mifepristone and Cytotec to miscarry at home. I had both experiences, and the D&C is so much less awful in general. It doesn't hurt while they do it (unlike the pills which hurt a LOT), it goes a lot faster, it doesn't involve vomiting and diarrhea like the pills do, and they can be sure that they get everything (I ended up having the D&C b/c some tissue was still left after the whole experience with the pills). I wish someone would have told me how not scary the D&C actually was so that I would have done that in the first place.

ShellBear+ · April 2011

So sorry you are going through this. I found out on 3/21 that I would miscarry and baby was measuring 6w3d (2 weeks behind). I went in for another u/s last friday and baby was down to 5w3d. They told me this is a sign that it may be going to happen naturally soon. So right now I have been waiting 4 weeks since the baby died and still no m/c. I just wanted to avoid the d&c or pills if possible. If it still doesn't happen by next week I think I will schedule the d&c.

1220winterbride · April 2011

I am so sorry for your loss. welcome to the board. I hope it can be a comfort for you.

jen629 · April 2011

I am so sorry for your loss

LexiSophie55 · April 2011

I had an empty sac at 6 weeks (I was actually 8 weeks). At 10 weeks I began my natural miscarriage. So I was 4 weeks past the "non-development", if that makes any sense. I'm so sorry for your loss. It does get easier, once your body snaps out of it.

boymamaco · April 2011

I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope these boards can provide some comfort for you.

Warning - TMI medical info.... don't read if its too painful right now.

The dating of the u/s isn't necessarily when your baby stopped growing. It's possible the embryo developed further but then compressed once it stopped growing. So even if you are measuring two weeks behind that doesn't mean that it stopped growing two weeks ago. I was measuring a week behind but they estimated that the baby had stopped developing in the past couple of days. There is no way to know for sure of course. Sorry if that was too much detail but I found it interesting as I wanted to know exactly when my baby stopped growing.

MrsCarebear · April 2011

I am so sorry for our loss. ((((Hugs))))

I had a similar experiance, we went in for our 12 week appt on a Monday and they were unable to find the heartbeat and our baby measured a little over 8 weeks. My OB was headed out of town and thought I would soon misscarry naturally and scheduled me for a follow up the following Monday. By that Thursday all I had was back cramps and emotionally I couldn't handle the waiting and called the on-call Doc for a D&C that Friday. The D&C went very smoothly and I felt let me start to heal. You have to do what is best for you. It is not abnormal though for it to take a while for your body to recognize that you miscarried.

JessMike07 · April 2011

:::HUGS::: I'm so sorry for your loss. I hope you will find all the comfort and support you need here. BTW, I started to m/c naturally a week ago today. I had an unscheduled D&E last Monday evening. Unfortantly that was my 2nd and compared to the pain I had m/c naturally vs D&E. I would pick D&E every.single.time!!!!

kucherova · April 2011

I found out Thursday, 3/31 that there was no heartbeat. But I knew for a few weeks, as the last scan showed 6w and I was at 9. Today I would be 2 days shy of 11 wks, so right behind you. I am also waiting for a natural miscarriage. This is my second, last time was between my eldest and middle child (Dec. 2006). At that time I opted for the pill the doctor inserts. Starting bleeding super heavy in the middle of the night, woke up because I thought I wet the bed, no cramps, passed some period like clots. Went in a week later and had to have an emergency D&C as I started bleeding nonstop at the doctors as she was trying to get the rest of the tissue out.

I decided to let my body do what it needs to do this time---it is maddening to keep going like this, I know exactly how you feel. I still feel pregnant, do it is super sad to remember that I am not.

So what can I tell you. The D&C was fine, as I was out completely. But I was so drugged I remember nothing---for about a week after. When I spoke to my midwife, she explained what they do during a D&C and how it can leave to scarring, and how invasive it is. However, it was fast, I got my period in a few weeks and was preganant with my third within 2 months, had her almost 1 yr after the mc.

(I love my doctor, but trust my midwife like my mother, she got me through a natural home birth, after 2 c sections!)

This was a surprise pregnancy, but we may want 1 more. So, I do not want to risk a hysterectomy of infection. We have a very close friend, who lost her sister to infection after a D&C,

I am with you---I am so sorry for you, this experience can never be described and I wish that it never be experienced. Hope it goes well for you and me.

MrsL2 · April 2011

I am so very sorry for your loss

Manderlin923 · April 2011

(Siggy warning)

I am so sorry for your loss. I had a missed m/c as well. I found out at 12 weeks 2 days and the baby had stopped growing at around 6 weeks. This was over Christmas holidays. I had an apt scheduled to talk about my "options"- a D&C or meds to cause m/c and both options were crappy to me. I actually began bleeding on Christmas and ended up having a natural miscarriage a couple days later so there is still "hope" that you might do it on your own. That said, it was very, very painful and I had to go to the ER. I am glad i avoided the surgery simply because of the low chance of scarring but I know many women on here find it to be a quicker relief. I can't tell you what to do but just know you will find the answer that is right for you.

HUGS!

jkfranklin · April 2011

I'm sorry for your loss. I found out at 11 weeks that there was no hb. The baby was measuring 6 weeks 1 day so I went for 5 weeks with no natural m/c. I had a D&C the Monday after we found out.

jenn0021 · April 2011

With my first loss, I had a missed m/c at 9 weeks. I opted to wait to miscarry naturally. It took three weeks before I started to bleed and then I bled for four weeks with no signs of stopping. There was retained tissue and I was scheduled for a D&C. The second loss my body wasn't recognizing it again (I only waited a couple of days) so I got the D&C. The waiting was the worst part and there was no way I was going to put myself through that again. Best of luck with your decision and I am so sorry for your loss.

vanillacourage · April 2011

Sig/ticker warning

I had a D&C the day after we found out. For us and how we felt, it was better to get it over with and try to move on - plus we were far enough along that I worried I would be able to tell when I'd passed the embryo, and that's not something I wanted to see or have to remember. The D&C was actually not nearly as bad as I'd feared - I was out for all of it, and have had no pain (haven't needed any of the pills they sent me home with) and only light bleeding. Good luck with whatever path you choose and I'm sorry for your loss.

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