Adoption
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I was adopted.

I just want to tell you ladies that I admire all of you so much. From hearing my parents stories about trying to adopt I know that it is a hard road. I have wonderful parents, and I have never met my birthparents. I do have to say that I think about them a lot especially now since I am pregnant. My parents were very open with me from the very beginning I never found out in a tramatic way. I do have a desire to meet my birthmother but have never talked to my mom about it because I don't want to hurt her feelings.

 I just wanted to say again that I admire you all so very much.

Re: I was adopted.

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    Thanks for your post.  I don't know your family and I don't meant to offer unsolicited advice, but if your parents were always open with you about adoption, do you think they'd also be open to you sharing your desire to meet your birthmother?  As a prospective adoptive mother, I hope we have information for our child about his/her birth relatives (we're doing IA and records might be sealed from our country) so that he or she can explore as an adult.
    Again, I don't know your family, so I hope you can hear this just as my personal opinion, but from my perspective, I hope that my child does ask those big questions at some point, because I know they'll always be in my mind anyway.  Just my 2 cents
    I wish you a happy and healthy pregnancy
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    Thanks for your post. It's so nice to hear different perspectives on this board.

    I'd have to agree with Ranita--it sounds like you have a wonderful, loving family, and you might be pleasantly surprised to find that your parents would be supportive of finding out about your birthparents. Just because you're curious about your birth family doesn't mean you'd be in any way diminishing your adoptive family.

    I wish you a happy, healthy pregnancy.

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    My mother and I have talked about it before. There has never been something that she has said to me to make me think that she doesn't want to talk about me finding my birth mother. I just have a weird thing that is just me that I don't want to hurt them.

    I have tried some to find my birthmother but I was born in 1983 and had a private adoption and there were no laws at that time regarding my birthmother making a decision to let my records be unsealed if I wanted to find her. In 1984 they passed a law that said the birthmother had to decide at the time of birth yes or no I want my child to be able to find out info on me/ search for me. My husband and I have looked into it and the expense of finding her isn't really worth it to me (most days)

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    Thanks for sharing!  We are doing a semi-open adoption at the birthmother's request.  I'm just glad to know that when our child gets older he/she can get some information if he/she wants to find the birthmom/dad.  I don't want any unsolved mysteries LOL.Smile
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    I hope you get that resolved with your mother. I think it's important to try and answer all of your questions. As an adoptive mother, I hope my son will want to meet his birthfamily one day. It wouldn't hurt my feelings at all. I completely understand, I know he wouldn't love me any less. It's a part of his history that we are all so proud of...best of luck to you.
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