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dont know if this is a good idea...

kjohn091kjohn091
in Single Parents

so XBF wants to come to her 6 month appt with me this week, he also wants to come with us to get her ears pierced, and then he also asked about coming with me for the proffesional pictures i set up. I know he wants to be involved in her life, but i cant help but feel like we are doing all these " family" things together, then he leaves and gets to enjoy his new single reality, why should he enjoy the perks of our fmaily when he obviously chose OW over that. why should he get both,,, 

or am i being selfish and petty? i should be thankful he wants to be involved right? IDK, what do you ladies think... should i say yes. 

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Re: dont know if this is a good idea...

  • ShanJosh777ShanJosh777 member

    I used to feel guilty about not inviting STBXH to do things with us because he was missing out on things. But then I realized, HE could do things with DS too, he just chooses not to.

    With that said, the things you mention are kind of one-time things, so if you are just trying to keep things civil and you don't mind having him around, I would probably just let him come.

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  • AmandaJordan1985AmandaJordan1985 member
    imageShanJosh777:

    I used to feel guilty about not inviting STBXH to do things with us because he was missing out on things. But then I realized, HE could do things with DS too, he just chooses not to.

    With that said, the things you mention are kind of one-time things, so if you are just trying to keep things civil and you don't mind having him around, I would probably just let him come.

    I second this. It's good that he is trying to make an effort and maybe it shows that he wants to be an involved father regardless of you two being together or not.

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  • Mrs.Keith2BMrs.Keith2B member
    I'd let him come. You don't ever want him to be able to say "Remember that time you wouldn't let me come to LO's 6 month appointment??" He could be full of hot air and not actually follow through, but you should give him the chance to be involved.
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  • fromthewombfromthewomb
    I agree with the PPs, just don't let yourself feel let down if he goes MIA. 
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  • kjohn091kjohn091

    i doubt he will, that may be niave, but he is VERY involved in her life. we still have a good relationship- still talk everyday, he watches her on the weekends when i work fri-monday. But i feel like that is some of the problem- i feel like he is " having his cake and eating it too" ( sorry for the dumb cliche) but Why should he get to enjoy all the perks of our family life while still enjoying what he chose instead of keeping our family together... 

    i might just be bitter and not over him cheating and thats why i am acting this way, idk.

    thanks tho ladies! 

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