why does this bother me so much, please tell me i'm not alone.
my son was taken via c-section about a year ago, after 36 hours of labor he wasn't moving down, i was 8 cm dilated and they pretty much said i HAD to have a c-section [as much as i didn't want it], i hadn't done any research on VBAC then and i thought technology allowed women to have a c-section once then deliver vaginally without much problems at all these days, but i was just talking to a doctor today who 1st of all, was rude, but 2nd he pretty much gave me no hope what-so-ever to have a VBAC. he told me "good luck"
now i'm depressed, i feel like i missed out on so much not getting to push during labor, i almost feel like less of a woman, and now i feel as if i will never get to experience a vaginal delivery and i feel like it's not my fault either, i feel like the doctors could have done more for me in the beginning.
Re: why does this bother me so much, please tell me i'm not alone.
You're not alone. I definitely felt like I was missing out, or was somehow less of a woman after my c/s. I felt like my body had failed me and my child. I know that's not the measure of the mother that I am, and it has nothing to do with how much I love my first son, but it didn't change what I felt about the experience.
Look in your area for midwives that may be willing to do a VBAC - there is one here, although I personally went to a hospital for my VBAC. You can look into your local ICAN chapter for possible recommendations. I'd get rid of your current OB, either way - I know I did when mine said "either grow a smaller baby or get larger hips" when I inquired about a VBAC. There are better providers out there.
I am getting as many opinions as I can on the subject with my OB's practice. I feel exactly how you do. I asked my OB at my PP check up what my chances were and she said it was completely up to me. So I know shes not opposed to the idea but now that we are going to have another baby I want to know if its in the gameplan for sure.
I would find some one who is going to listen to you and make you comfortable with your decision to do a VBAC if it is medically possible for you. GL
Yes, I felt like I missed out and like I was cheated out of the way the birth was supposed to go. I know some people think that's stupid or can't relate, but it's how I felt. I had a lot of negative feelings about my daughter's birth that I had to work for. The OB who did my c/s was very negative when I asked about VBAC. She was like the doctor you spoke with and basically told me there was no chance. I felt very upset after that talk.
But I cleared my head in the months that followed and did some reading on my own. I discovered that even for moms who had a c/s for failure to progress, failure to descend or cephalo-pelvic disproportion, VBAC success rates were 60% or higher. I got second opinions from several different practitioners who were very encouraging about VBAC. My current OB has a 90% VBAC success rate and he doesn't forsee any issues with me having a VBAC. Obviously it's always possible a complication can arise, but he doesn't think I'm inherently unable to deliver vaginally, if that makes sense. Having people who believe in me has made a big difference and I'm feeling more positive about trying for a VBAC in the coming weeks. I think even if I end up with another c/s, I'll be happy I tried because otherwise I would have always wondered.
Oh and we've had some ladies on here have their VBACs at home. If that's something that interests you, look into it. Either way, I'd start looking for a midwife or doctor who has a good reputation for VBAC and talk to them. GL.
PLEASE talk to some homebirth midwives in your area. I will be having a HBA2C this fall....my midwife says almost FORTY PERCENT of her clients are VBACs because physicians won't take them. It's worth your time to at least talk to someone.
I am sorry you didn't get to try pushing, I didn't either, and I feel like I missed out on so much, and my csection had to be under ga.
I am having a hard time dealing with this, and I am soooo sick of everyone telling me, at least I have a healthy baby. I hope you can find an ob who is helpful.