Military Family Checkin anyone?

karaknr · March 2011

So after my Tricare debacle yesterday I realized how much awesome information I received from some amazing military wives and how MANY military wives there are on this board.

I know there is a military families board, but I feel like most of the women on there have children and that the Tricare questions that get asked and answered are rarely having to do with IF. I feel like TTGP in the military is a whole different world and that there are only a few people who know what it's like trying to time sex around TDY's and deployments, having to wait EVEN LONGER to conceive due to deployments, having to deal with the mess that is the military health care system (even though Im grateful for it), and seeing all the fertile myrtle military wives who are popping out kids left and right.

I feel like we are an exclusive group of women and that even other TTCers dont quite understand everything we go through and neither do other "normal" military wives who dont struggle with TTGP or IF.

So: all that said Id like to start a "Military Monday" (thats for the moniker CarolinaGirl) Checking for all us Military wives (whether you are the one in the military or the dependent) so that we can really get to know one another and rely on each other. Pooling our info on all things IF and military related can really be a great thing! Plus no one in the world understands EXACTLY what I deal with except another TTC military wife.

So I wanted to post this just to see if there was an interest. For today if youre interested in participating answer as many or as few of the following questions as youd like:

What branch is your family with?

What base are you stationed at? (some people dont want to tell, so that's fine)

What is your spouse (or your) military job?

How long have you been TTC?

Do you have a diagnosis?

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse?

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse?

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin?

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP?

I am so excited to get to know the other military wives on here! This checkin is NOT to exclude other TTGP bumpies but simply a resource to get to know the military side of things better and to pool our resources to help us all get to where we want to be more easily.

*Warning* please remember to follow OPSEC rules when posting. The biggest being to not post deployment dates or return dates. Vague answers such as "soon" or "not any time soon" or "several months" are acceptable but please use caution. There is nothing against OPSEC to say that YH is deployed if you feel ok with sharing that info, but dont give away specific info as to where and what exactly YH is doing while he is gone. Mostly use your judgment. If you think the information your giving away could help the enemy, dont give it. Each unit has their own set of sensitive info as well, so just be wary. If you want to know the specific OPSEC rules they are listed in a sticky at the top of the Military Families board. If I see info about our military that I feel is sensitive, I will report it to a mod to be edited.

Other than that, I look forward to "meeting" you all and getting to know you!

This will be a P&R b/c I need to get to an apt. Bbl ladies!

karaknr · March 2011

What branch is your family with? Air Force

What base are you stationed at? (some people dont want to tell, so that's fine) Robins AFB

What is your spouse (or your) military job? Navigator

How long have you been TTC? 10 months

Do you have a diagnosis? not yet

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse? The comradeship

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse? The hurry up and wait routine

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin? obviously

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? got them all answered yesterday! Thanks ladies!

SaucyRedhead · March 2011

Hi Kara! Just stopping by TTGP for the first time in a while and saw this. GREAT idea!! I'll bite....

What branch is your family with? Army

What base are you stationed at? Fort Huachuca, AZ

What is your spouse (or your) military job? intelligence

How long have you been TTC? 13 months

Do you have a diagnosis? Undiagnosed, but the RE suspects Endo

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse? The fact that it has made me a strong, independent woman who can easily make friends with ANYONE.

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse? Deployments and moving away from friends!

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin? Yes, when I'm around. My TTGP days have been sporadic lately.

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? Not that I can think of right now!

tlalli7106 · March 2011

What branch is your family with? Navy

What base are you stationed at? (some people dont want to tell, so that's fine) Naval Station San Diego

How long have you been TTC? 6 months (not really trying, but not avoiding either...he is gone sometimes several days/weeks out of the month so not every month is a "great" month TTC considering he may be gone while I'm ovulating Sad We plan to fully start trying once he returns home from his next deployment, at least then we will know he will be home for the next 8-12 months for sure!

Do you have a diagnosis? No

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse? Traveling and living somewhere different every few years

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse? The time spent apart from DH

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin? Yes!

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? Not yet, I'm sure I will in the future

CarolinaGirl82 · March 2011

Woohoo! Let's get this party started

What branch is your family with?
** Air ForceWhat base are you stationed at?
** CharlestonWhat is your spouse (or your) military job?
** My husband is a pilot and I'm a personnel officer in the Inactive Ready ReservesHow long have you been TTC?
** Since 11/2010--We're on cycle 6Do you have a diagnosis?
** NoWhat is your favorite thing about being a military spouse?
** How welcome I have felt in the community and that we get have such a unique bonding experience as spouses. Also, I really enjoy moving and experiencing life in different parts of the country.What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse?
** Always having to say goodbye to friends, and seeing my husband leave so frequently.Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin?
** You bet!Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP?
** At the moment, my biggest curiosity is about how potential fertility problems are treated and how much we have to pay out of pocket. Also, whether other spouses are on Tricare Standard or Prime and how much that affects their treatment (Cost vs. benefit of seeing non-military doctors).Looking forward to "getting to know" you all! Thanks so much for putting this together, Kara!

SaucyRedhead · March 2011

CarolinaGirl82:

** At the moment, my biggest curiosity is about how potential fertility problems are treated and how much we have to pay out of pocket. Also, whether other spouses are on Tricare Standard or Prime and how much that affects their treatment (Cost vs. benefit of seeing non-military doctors).

We're on Tricare Prime. When I reached a year of TTC I went to my PCM and told her I'd like a referral to an RE. She gave me the referral and Tricare approved it. Since then, all diagnostic testing and ultrasounds has been covered, most medications are covered (other than a small copay of $3-6), but the actual IUI I had was NOT covered (about $300).

I'm not an expert on what is or is not covered (I wish they made it easier to find out) but this has been my experience so far. Hope that helps!

GraceInCA · March 2011

My immediate family isn't a military family, but I just wanted to thank everyone for their sacrifice. I know it's asking a lot to be apart from your loved one for so long. One of my friends does a lot of volunteer work for Blue Star Family events and I've been lucky enough to participate a couple of times. You guys are all heroes.

SaydeJade · March 2011

What branch is your family with?

Air Force

What base are you stationed at? (some people dont want to tell, so that's fine)

We're at Luke AFB in Arizona

What is your spouse (or your) military job?

My husband and I are both crew chiefs (work on jets).

How long have you been TTC?

This is our second cycle coming up, so not long at all!

Do you have a diagnosis?

Not sure what you mean by this...so I'm gonna say no.

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse?

In my short experience being a military spouse, I think I most enjoy getting to travel to a new place.

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse?

Even though I like the traveling, I also hate being so far from home. :-(

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin?

Sure!

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP?

Not yet! My journey is still in the early stages however, so I'm sure I'll come up with a few.

bostonbluejay · March 2011

What branch is your family with? Army

What is your spouse (or your) military job? Special Forces Support/Airborne

How long have you been TTC? Just moving on to cycle 7 after a chemical pregnancy

Do you have a diagnosis? Recurring endometriomas and endometriosis

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse? The love of country you get to see every day.

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse? Deployments

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin? For shizzle!

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? I am also interested about what Tricare does cover regarding infertility testing and treatments. (I know they won't cover IUI, IVF and such) We aren't needing this yet, but I was under the impression that they wouldn't cover anything relating to IF. So, now I am intrigued!

SaydeJade · March 2011

CarolinaGirl82:

** At the moment, my biggest curiosity is about how potential fertility problems are treated and how much we have to pay out of pocket. Also, whether other spouses are on Tricare Standard or Prime and how much that affects their treatment (Cost vs. benefit of seeing non-military doctors).

I have prime, and it's my understanding that since we have no hospital on base (or many specialists) that I still get to see non-military doctors for the most part, which I really like. I've used the Tricare website a lot when I try to figure out what's covered as far as fertility treatments, and I found this:

TRICARE may cover the following types of infertility testing and treatment.

Diagnostic services to identify physical illnesses or injuries to the reproductive system are covered for both men and women. Infertility treatments, corrective treatments and surgeries for women are also covered. However, correction of male infertility may be cost shared, which is determined on a case-by-case basis.

Therapies covered by TRICARE include hormonal treatment, corrective surgery, antibiotics, administration of human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) or radiation therapy depending on the cause. These therapies are covered for both sexes.

TRICARE also provides medically necessary appropriate medical care for erectile dysfunction due to organic, vice psychological or psychiatric, causes.

Exclusions:

In-vitro fertilization (IVF) for women (see note below)
Reversal of surgical sterilization is not covered for either sex.

A note about IVF: While TRICARE does not cover IVF, there are four military treatment facilities (MTFs) where IVF medical training programs are conducted. Beneficiaries who participate in these programs will be responsible for all MTF costs.

Wilford Hall Medical Center in San Antonio
Tripler Army Medical Center in Honolulu
Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C.
Naval Medical Center in San Diego

I hope that helps you some.

CarolinaGirl82 · March 2011

katyj25:

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? Have any of you been pg or given birth while DH was deployed? If so, how did you deal with the stress?

That's one of my fears too. If we're successful this cycle or the next 2, my due date will probably fall during my husbands next deployment Hopefully they'd be able to send him home, but you just never know. I'd be interested to see responses to this too!

SunnySky06 · March 2011

What branch is your family with? Army.

What base are you stationed at? (some people dont want to tell, so that's fine)- Fort Stewart, Georgia but soon to be Fort Sill, Oklahoma.

What is your spouse (or your) military job? Infantry.

How long have you been TTC? 4th cycle.

Do you have a diagnosis? No.

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse? The community and the feeling of overwhelming pride when I see my husband in uniform and go to ceremonies.

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse? Deployments.

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin? Sure!

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? Mainly I'm just curious as to if testing and everything like that is covered. I know they only have certain hospitals that cover IVF and IUI so I don't know if they do testing at every hospital on post, or if they have to refer you off post, etc.

ETA- I also just want to vent for a second, since I'm sure you ladies understand, I REALLY hate when people in the military life say we need to have a baby, that it's time. A guy my husband works with told him the other day, "Don't you think it's about time you and your wife have a baby?" Sorry we didn't pop 3 out ASAP, we're working on it now.

CarolinaGirl82 · March 2011

SaucyRedhead:

We're on Tricare Prime. When I reached a year of TTC I went to my PCM and told her I'd like a referral to an RE. She gave me the referral and Tricare approved it. Since then, all diagnostic testing and ultrasounds has been covered, most medications are covered (other than a small copay of $3-6), but the actual IUI I had was NOT covered (about $300).
I'm not an expert on what is or is not covered (I wish they made it easier to find out) but this has been my experience so far. Hope that helps!

SaydeJade:

I have prime, and it's my understanding that since we have no hospital on base (or many specialists) that I still get to see non-military doctors for the most part, which I really like. I've used the Tricare website a lot when I try to figure out what's covered as far as fertility treatments, and I found this:
TRICARE may cover the following types of infertility testing and treatment.
Diagnostic services to identify physical illnesses or injuries to the reproductive system are covered for both men and women. Infertility treatments, corrective treatments and surgeries for women are also covered. However, correction of male infertility may be cost shared, which is determined on a case-by-case basis.
Therapies covered by TRICARE include hormonal treatment, corrective surgery, antibiotics, administration of human chorionic gonadotropin (HCG) or radiation therapy depending on the cause. These therapies are covered for both sexes.
TRICARE also provides medically necessary appropriate medical care for erectile dysfunction due to organic, vice psychological or psychiatric, causes.
Exclusions:
In-vitro fertilization (IVF) for women (see note below)
Reversal of surgical sterilization is not covered for either sex.
A note about IVF: While TRICARE does not cover IVF, there are four military treatment facilities (MTFs) where IVF medical training programs are conducted. Beneficiaries who participate in these programs will be responsible for all MTF costs.
Wilford Hall Medical Center in San Antonio
Tripler Army Medical Center in Honolulu
Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington, D.C.
Naval Medical Center in San Diego
I hope that helps you some.

That's exactly the kind of information I was wondering about. Thank you so much Saucy and Jade! Evidently the Tricare website is much more helpful than I ever would have expected it to be--ha!

I had heard the same thing as Boston, that they don't cover much of anything, so it is really nice to hear that theoretically I wouldn't have to pay everything out of pocket. Though hopefully it will never come to that.

And it's awesome to know that it was so easy to get a referral to an RE. I really appreciate y'all sharing this info!

soldiersgrl3 · March 2011

What branch is your family with? Army

What base are you stationed at?Fort Belvoir, VA

What is your spouse (or your) military job?Combat Engineer

How long have you been TTC? started Oct 2010. I just started my 7th cycle

Do you have a diagnosis? not yet

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse? The sense of pride that I have for my husband. And knowing that he and my family are making a big sacrifice for our country. I think that says a lot about our family.

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse? The way they depict our lives to civilians. I hate how civilians think we have it so well off but we really don't.

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin? yes! I would love to get to know other military spouses who are TTC

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? not yet!

soldiersgrl3 · March 2011

CarolinaGirl82:
katyj25:

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? Have any of you been pg or given birth while DH was deployed? If so, how did you deal with the stress?
That's one of my fears too. If we're successful this cycle or the next 2, my due date will probably fall during my husbands next deployment Hopefully they'd be able to send him home, but you just never know. I'd be interested to see responses to this too!

Since I knew my husband wasn't going to be a lifer I put my dreams of being a mother on hold. I would never want my husband to miss out on anything during my pregnancy or our future childs life. I feel that since he makes the ultimate sacrifice that I could make this little sacrifice. He only has about 3 years left in his contract and he's currently in a non deployable unit. We finally made the decision that now is a good time to start trying since he won't be missing anything. I hope they send your husband home so he can be with you during your delivery.
ETA:After I posted this I read it and realized it kinda sounds a little rude maybe. I don't think I could go thru a deploument being pregnant. They're hard enough going thru and not being pregnant. That's just me thou. Everyone has a reason for their timing with TTC. My bff was pregnant during her husbands first deployment. I know its hard. If you get your BFP and have to go thru the pregnancy without him we will all be here to supposrt you.

soldiersgrl3 · March 2011

GraceInCA:
My immediate family isn't a military family, but I just wanted to thank everyone for their sacrifice. I know it's asking a lot to be apart from your loved one for so long. One of my friends does a lot of volunteer work for Blue Star Family events and I've been lucky enough to participate a couple of times. You guys are all heroes.

Thank you! I know we all appreciate your support!

CarolinaGirl82 · March 2011

soldiersgrl3:
CarolinaGirl82:
katyj25:

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? Have any of you been pg or given birth while DH was deployed? If so, how did you deal with the stress?
That's one of my fears too. If we're successful this cycle or the next 2, my due date will probably fall during my husbands next deployment Hopefully they'd be able to send him home, but you just never know. I'd be interested to see responses to this too!
Since I knew my husband wasn't going to be a lifer I put my dreams of being a mother on hold. I would never want my husband to miss out on anything during my pregnancy or our future childs life. I feel that since he makes the ultimate sacrifice that I could make this little sacrifice. He only has about 3 years left in his contract and he's currently in a non deployable unit. We finally made the decision that now is a good time to start trying since he won't be missing anything. I hope they send your husband home so he can be with you during your delivery.

That's great that your husband will be out by the time y'all start having children. My husband still has four years left on his commitment (10 years for pilots after pilot training = ~12 years total) and I'm pretty sure we'll be in until retirement, so that just wasn't a feasible scenario for us. I'm 28 and my husband is 31, so we're ready to get this family started!

I've been feeling very conflicted about this cycle--on the one hand, I so want to be pregnant, on the other, the timing is anything but ideal. But we learned a long time ago that we can't plan our lives around the military, we just take it a day at a time and hope for the best!

SunshineDanie · March 2011

What branch is your family with? Air force

What base are you stationed at? (some people dont want to tell, so that's fine) Grand Forks AFB, Soon to be Pope!

What is your spouse (or your) military job? He is a logistics and readiness member at the base clinic

How long have you been TTC? 7 months

Do you have a diagnosis? nope

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse? everything, I was born a mil brat and am a proud mil wife now- this is all I know

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse? seeing other families suffer due to their mil. member

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin? I will try, I've been super busy lately and only just got a minute to see this one you go Karaknr!!

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? no but I have excellent resources, so feel free to ask anything anytime!

Great idea, I love this idea! We'll have our own Spouses' group!

*blue*flower* · March 2011

I love this idea! Thanks Kara!

What branch is your family with? Air Force

What base are you stationed at? (some people dont want to tell, so that's fine) We are at one of the Northern CA bases, but we will PCS at the end of the year to VA

What is your spouse (or your) military job? Computer Technician

How long have you been TTC? Next week we hit the 11 month mark

Do you have a diagnosis? Anovulatory is all I have been diagnosed with so far. My OB suspected PCOS, I am finishing testing with the RE soon and hopefully cn have some answers and a plan.

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse? The stength and independence it has given me. I also LOVE being able to experience living anywhere in the world. We have had 1 OCONUS assignment together, 1 unacompanied OCONUS that I went and visited him for about 3 weeks at, and 2 soon to be 3 CONUS assignments. We are hoping our next base will be another OCONUS asignment.

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse? Being able to have continuity with my schooling, friends moving away, and deployments kind of suck too

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin? Yes!

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? Not right now. Though I was surprised to read Saucy had to pay OOP for the IUI's. All the reading and talking to Tricare I have done said they cover everything up to IVF so I did not know they didn't cover the actual IUI!

*blue*flower* · March 2011

Actually, I do have one questsion. I know it is a long shot, but anyone here have experience with Walter Reed's IF clinic or know someone who has? I was going to start looking at RE's near our new assignment, but if I could possibly get into Walter Reed's IF clinic that might be something to consider. I am worried about how over stretched so many military clinics (especially specilaty clinics) seem to be so I don't know. Hearing personal stories would be great!

SunnySky06 · March 2011

*blue*flower*:
Actually, I do have one questsion. I know it is a long shot, but anyone here have experience with Walter Reed's IF clinic or know someone who has? I was going to start looking at RE's near our new assignment, but if I could possibly get into Walter Reed's IF clinic that might be something to consider. I am worried about how over stretched so many military clinics (especially specilaty clinics) seem to be so I don't know. Hearing personal stories would be great!

I haven't but in case no one here can offer you help, if you go over to TN military board and page SmudgesMom, I think she did IVF at Walter Reed.

AFWife10 · March 2011

I was lurking here today and noticed this! I'm a little sad I'm not on this board anymore

karaknr · March 2011

CarolinaGirl82:
katyj25:

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? Have any of you been pg or given birth while DH was deployed? If so, how did you deal with the stress?
That's one of my fears too. If we're successful this cycle or the next 2, my due date will probably fall during my husbands next deployment Hopefully they'd be able to send him home, but you just never know. I'd be interested to see responses to this too!

Sorry Ive been MIA ladies! I has an u/s apt (yay that it happened that fast!) and I had a ton of errands to run. But I did want to respond to this question and hope you will still be around to see it!

My BFF at this base was KU late in her pregnancy when her H deployed. They knew itd be a possibility that he would miss the birth but they were hoping the baby would come close to his due date (the deployment was only for 2.5 months). Lo and behold he came 2 weeks early and his daddy didnt make it home in time.

I know that every experience is different, but I do want to warn that it is highly unlikely that they will bring someone home from a deployment for a delivery unless that is set up before the deployment (especially for short deployments). But with my experience in at least THIS squadron they do try to keep the military member home instead of deploying them if they have a 6 months + pregnant wife. My friends H went when he did voluntarily because he needed the flight hours and the combat hours career wise.

I know this isnt the case for all, but check around with the other wives in your squadron and see if you can find out the "unwritten" policy the 'higher ups' have when it comes to pregnancy. Different squadron leaders may feel differently about it but as far as I know the Air Force seems to be the most giving when it comes to working with mil. members and their families.

My friend had an at home, natural delivery (I was there with her). It went really well and her H was on the phone with her most of the time and got to see her and the baby right after his birth. They came home 2 weeks later and he got to meet his son. MH talked to the commander that was over the deployed squadron and they had tried everything they could to get a skype connection running but the internet was on the fritz that night. When her husband returned the 'higher ups' let her H off the plane first long before anyone else was released so he could meet his son without a bunch of other guys around and chaos.

They really did everything that was feasible to make it a special experience for them and did the best they could. In the end we just have to realize that that IS a possibility. After seeing my friend go through that I cant say Id WANT to do it, but I definitely could. She was surrounded by her military family and taken such good care of. She didnt have to do ANYTHING until her husband got home! It's a scary thing to go through without your spouse and of course it sucks, but having seen a woman go through it and come out the other end, I know I could handle it.

She said that when he gets older and the conversation arises about his dad not being there for his birth she said she is going to make it very clear that his father was fighting for our freedom and made a huge sacrifice for America but that it's one of those things that he of course wishes he couldve been around for.

I hope that sheds a little light on it from a first hand perspective. Again from my experience they have tried to do all they can to make sure that a military member can be home for his childs birth. But deployments are just a part of our life style and we have to remember there are just certain things they are not going to be there for. But I think its pretty awesome that, at least in our squadron, they really try to make it work.

ChloesNavyMommy · March 2011

What branch is your family with? DH is Army and I'm Navy.What base are you stationed at? (some people dont want to tell, so that's fine) Fort Hood, TxWhat is your spouse (or your) military job? DH is Carpenter and I'm a Seabee.How long have you been TTC? 2 months.Do you have a diagnosis? Not yet.What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse? He makes me so proud and I feel so safe with him. What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse? Late nights and deployment.Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin? Yes Please.Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? Not yet but i'm sure i will.

CarolinaGirl82 · March 2011

karaknr:

Sorry Ive been MIA ladies! I has an u/s apt (yay that it happened that fast!) and I had a ton of errands to run. But I did want to respond to this question and hope you will still be around to see it!
My BFF at this base was KU late in her pregnancy when her H deployed. They knew itd be a possibility that he would miss the birth but they were hoping the baby would come close to his due date (the deployment was only for 2.5 months). Lo and behold he came 2 weeks early and his daddy didnt make it home in time.
I know that every experience is different, but I do want to warn that it is highly unlikely that they will bring someone home from a deployment for a delivery unless that is set up before the deployment (especially for short deployments). But with my experience in at least THIS squadron they do try to keep the military member home instead of deploying them if they have a 6 months + pregnant wife. My friends H went when he did voluntarily because he needed the flight hours and the combat hours career wise.
I know this isnt the case for all, but check around with the other wives in your squadron and see if you can find out the "unwritten" policy the 'higher ups' have when it comes to pregnancy. Different squadron leaders may feel differently about it but as far as I know the Air Force seems to be the most giving when it comes to working with mil. members and their families.
My friend had an at home, natural delivery (I was there with her). It went really well and her H was on the phone with her most of the time and got to see her and the baby right after his birth. They came home 2 weeks later and he got to meet his son. MH talked to the commander that was over the deployed squadron and they had tried everything they could to get a skype connection running but the internet was on the fritz that night. When her husband returned the 'higher ups' let her H off the plane first long before anyone else was released so he could meet his son without a bunch of other guys around and chaos.
They really did everything that was feasible to make it a special experience for them and did the best they could. In the end we just have to realize that that IS a possibility. After seeing my friend go through that I cant say Id WANT to do it, but I definitely could. She was surrounded by her military family and taken such good care of. She didnt have to do ANYTHING until her husband got home! It's a scary thing to go through without your spouse and of course it sucks, but having seen a woman go through it and come out the other end, I know I could handle it.
She said that when he gets older and the conversation arises about his dad not being there for his birth she said she is going to make it very clear that his father was fighting for our freedom and made a huge sacrifice for America but that it's one of those things that he of course wishes he couldve been around for.
I hope that sheds a little light on it from a first hand perspective. Again from my experience they have tried to do all they can to make sure that a military member can be home for his childs birth. But deployments are just a part of our life style and we have to remember there are just certain things they are not going to be there for. But I think its pretty awesome that, at least in our squadron, they really try to make it work.

Oh my goodness, that story made me cry--what a strong woman! And how amazing it is to have such a tight-knit military family. It gives me goosebumps.

There is a "baby window" here where they try not to put guys on trips once the due date is about a month away. And often they'll send them for just half of the deployment if their wife is due (whichever half is opposite the due date). I did have a friend who had her baby 6 weeks early, and unfortunately her husband was on his last trip (when they aren't deployed, they go on 1-2 week trips once a month or so) before entering the baby window. It was a definite wake-up call that as hard as they try to accommodate families, you just can't plan anything for sure when it comes to labor and delivery or the military!

Thank you so much for sharing that story, Kara. And I'm so glad you got your ultrasound done! I hope everything looked good.

karaknr · March 2011

CarolinaGirl82:
karaknr:

Oh my goodness, that story made me cry--what a strong woman! And how amazing it is to have such a tight-knit military family. It gives me goosebumps.
There is a "baby window" here where they try not to put guys on trips once the due date is about a month away. And often they'll send them for just half of the deployment if their wife is due (whichever half is opposite the due date). I did have a friend who had her baby 6 weeks early, and unfortunately her husband was on his last trip (when they aren't deployed, they go on 1-2 week trips once a month or so) before entering the baby window. It was a definite wake-up call that as hard as they try to accommodate families, you just can't plan anything for sure when it comes to labor and delivery or the military!
Thank you so much for sharing that story, Kara. And I'm so glad you got your ultrasound done! I hope everything looked good.

No problem girl (didnt realize Id typed so much haha!). I have no idea how my u/s was yet, the tech was tight lipped and I wont find out any results until April 5th when I have my apt with my PCM (ergh). But hopefully everything is fine. The nurse said if anything was major wrong with me that they would call me as soon as the doc gets the results in. Ill let you guys know what they tell me though!

spcarmywife · March 2011

What branch is your family with? Army National Guard

What is your spouse (or your) military job? Engineer

How long have you been TTC? 2 cycles

What is your favorite thing about being a military spouse? pride and seeing that airplane land after year long deployments

What is your least favorite thing about being a military spouse? hurry up and wait

Are you interested in participating in a weekly checkin? yes

soldiersgrl3 · March 2011

karaknr:

Sorry Ive been MIA ladies! I has an u/s apt (yay that it happened that fast!) and I had a ton of errands to run. But I did want to respond to this question and hope you will still be around to see it!

Glad you were able to get in and get an ultrasound quickly!

soldiersgrl3 · April 2011

ChloesNavyMommy:
What base are you stationed at? (some people dont want to tell, so that's fine) Fort Hood, Tx

We were stationed at Ft Hood for 3 years. Not my fav post.

RodeoRadTech · April 2011

CarolinaGirl82:
soldiersgrl3:
CarolinaGirl82:
katyj25:

Do you have any military or TTC related questions for other military spouses on TTGP? Have any of you been pg or given birth while DH was deployed? If so, how did you deal with the stress?

That's one of my fears too. If we're successful this cycle or the next 2, my due date will probably fall during my husbands next deployment Hopefully they'd be able to send him home, but you just never know. I'd be interested to see responses to this too!

Since I knew my husband wasn't going to be a lifer I put my dreams of being a mother on hold. I would never want my husband to miss out on anything during my pregnancy or our future childs life. I feel that since he makes the ultimate sacrifice that I could make this little sacrifice. He only has about 3 years left in his contract and he's currently in a non deployable unit. We finally made the decision that now is a good time to start trying since he won't be missing anything. I hope they send your husband home so he can be with you during your delivery.

That's great that your husband will be out by the time y'all start having children. My husband still has four years left on his commitment (10 years for pilots after pilot training = ~12 years total) and I'm pretty sure we'll be in until retirement, so that just wasn't a feasible scenario for us. I'm 28 and my husband is 31, so we're ready to get this family started!

I've been feeling very conflicted about this cycle--on the one hand, I so want to be pregnant, on the other, the timing is anything but ideal. But we learned a long time ago that we can't plan our lives around the military, we just take it a day at a time and hope for the best!

This is something I am actually living at the moment. My husband will be deploying in the next few months and I am 9 weeks pregnant. We were fortunate enough that he was stateside when out DD was born, but I am worried about delivering our 2nd with him overseas. While I am obviously hoping and praying that he will make it home for R&R right about the time I am due, I am preparing myself for this birth as a single parent. I am moving back to Texas to be with family while he is gone and my mom is going to be my major support team throughout this pregnancy. It's hard, but what can you do but make it work? Best of luck to everyone! Hope to see you all on First Tri soon!

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