Can I vent for a second?

andy71781 · April 2011

I will fully admit that I am NOT a patient person. I'm the opposite actually. My wonderful H and I have agreed to start TTC in June, after I get off some medications and we move into our new house. Yay so excited right?

Well I'm annoyed because I want to go off BCP. He's just not ready. He thinks that TYCOF is not medically sound and if I go off BCP before I'm off my medicines we will get pregnant and have problems. H is a doctor - not a ob/gyn - but an internist and a radiologist so I have to give him some credit but it is so freaking frustrating.

I'm so jealous of your charts!!!

(vent over)

hnh1205 · April 2011

If he isn't comfortable using FAM, then why don't you consider coming off BCP and just using condoms for the next couple of months. You could start charting just to get the hang of it. It is worth it to come off sooner. Most of us will tell you we wish we came off of BC sooner to let our bodies regulate. I have been off since January, and I SO wish I had stopped sooner, bc my body is still crazy. We all know it sucks using condoms, but it is better than prolonging having a baby bc your body is so out of wack. Just a suggestion. GL!

bostonbluejay · April 2011

It has taken me a long time to get regulated after BC. Wait, who am I kidding? I'm still not regular, 6 months later. TCOYF does say that during your first few months of charting you should use a barrier method until you are more familiar with your cycle. I know you were just venting and not really asking anything, but what if you charted and used condoms? Then you could go off BCP sooner and let your body start getting acclimated again.

bostonbluejay · April 2011

hnh1205:
If he isn't comfortable using FAM, then why don't you consider coming off BCP and just using condoms for the next couple of months. You could start charting just to get the hang of it. It is worth it to come off sooner. Most of us will tell you we wish we came off of BC sooner to let our bodies regulate. I have been off since January, and I SO wish I had stopped sooner, bc my body is still crazy. We all know it sucks using condoms, but it is better than prolonging having a baby bc your body is so out of wack. Just a suggestion. GL!

Ahhh, hnh you beat me!!

hnh1205 · April 2011

bostonbluejay:
hnh1205:
If he isn't comfortable using FAM, then why don't you consider coming off BCP and just using condoms for the next couple of months. You could start charting just to get the hang of it. It is worth it to come off sooner. Most of us will tell you we wish we came off of BC sooner to let our bodies regulate. I have been off since January, and I SO wish I had stopped sooner, bc my body is still crazy. We all know it sucks using condoms, but it is better than prolonging having a baby bc your body is so out of wack. Just a suggestion. GL!
Ahhh, hnh you beat me!!

Great minds think alike BBJ!

andy71781 · April 2011

bostonbluejay:
It has taken me a long time to get regulated after BC. Wait, who am I kidding? I'm still not regular, 6 months later. TCOYF does say that during your first few months of charting you should use a barrier method until you are more familiar with your cycle. I know you were just venting and not really asking anything, but what if you charted and used condoms? Then you could go off BCP sooner and let your body start getting acclimated again.

Yeah I tried that. He doesn't want to wear condoms. He totally believes that the first month off BCP I'll get pregnant. I know that this is an H problem - and I knew he was stubborn like this on the day that I married him. He needs to do this his way and it's so freaking frustrating!!! I'm going to try and get him to agree to use condoms next month. I just don't want to push too hard and have him get totally freaked out about TTC.

hnh1205 · April 2011

andy71781:
bostonbluejay:
It has taken me a long time to get regulated after BC. Wait, who am I kidding? I'm still not regular, 6 months later. TCOYF does say that during your first few months of charting you should use a barrier method until you are more familiar with your cycle. I know you were just venting and not really asking anything, but what if you charted and used condoms? Then you could go off BCP sooner and let your body start getting acclimated again.

Yeah I tried that. He doesn't want to wear condoms. He totally believes that the first month off BCP I'll get pregnant. I know that this is an H problem - and I knew he was stubborn like this on the day that I married him. He needs to do this his way and it's so freaking frustrating!!! I'm going to try and get him to agree to use condoms next month. I just don't want to push too hard and have him get totally freaked out about TTC.

I totally get that. DH and I were originally planning on starting TTC in May, but decided to start last month instead. When I first broached the subject of coming off BC to start charting and using condoms, at first he wasn't crazy about the idea. It wasn't until I sat down with him and really told him how I felt and why I wanted to do it, that he really became ok with the idea. He of course felt like we would be pregnant the first month, but we didn't. That is not to say it won't happen for you. I think that he needs to know that it is your body, and it is not fair for him to mandate what you do. It is something you should decide together.

andy71781 · April 2011

hnh1205:
andy71781:
bostonbluejay:
It has taken me a long time to get regulated after BC. Wait, who am I kidding? I'm still not regular, 6 months later. TCOYF does say that during your first few months of charting you should use a barrier method until you are more familiar with your cycle. I know you were just venting and not really asking anything, but what if you charted and used condoms? Then you could go off BCP sooner and let your body start getting acclimated again.

Yeah I tried that. He doesn't want to wear condoms. He totally believes that the first month off BCP I'll get pregnant. I know that this is an H problem - and I knew he was stubborn like this on the day that I married him. He needs to do this his way and it's so freaking frustrating!!! I'm going to try and get him to agree to use condoms next month. I just don't want to push too hard and have him get totally freaked out about TTC.
I totally get that. DH and I were originally planning on starting TTC in May, but decided to start last month instead. When I first broached the subject of coming off BC to start charting and using condoms, at first he wasn't crazy about the idea. It wasn't until I sat down with him and really told him how I felt and why I wanted to do it, that he really became ok with the idea. He of course felt like we would be pregnant the first month, but we didn't. That is not to say it won't happen for you. I think that he needs to know that it is your body, and it is not fair for him to mandate what you do. It is something you should decide together.

Thanks for listening. I agree - I need to tell him how I feel again. I really hate taking those things..knowing that it's going to take 3 months (or more!) to get my body back to normal. We are going out to dinner tonight...maybe I'll broach it there. He's going to be traveling a lot next month...maybe I'll lead with that?

Lightdrwr · April 2011

andy71781:
bostonbluejay:
It has taken me a long time to get regulated after BC. Wait, who am I kidding? I'm still not regular, 6 months later. TCOYF does say that during your first few months of charting you should use a barrier method until you are more familiar with your cycle. I know you were just venting and not really asking anything, but what if you charted and used condoms? Then you could go off BCP sooner and let your body start getting acclimated again.

Yeah I tried that. He doesn't want to wear condoms. He totally believes that the first month off BCP I'll get pregnant. I know that this is an H problem - and I knew he was stubborn like this on the day that I married him. He needs to do this his way and it's so freaking frustrating!!! I'm going to try and get him to agree to use condoms next month. I just don't want to push too hard and have him get totally freaked out about TTC.

I can understand your desire to go off birth control now. However, if the medications you're taking would be harmful to the baby if you did get pregnant, I would definitely just wait. A couple of months may seem like a long time now but in the scheme of things, it's really not that long and it might help you to start working on that patience thing. Hopefully, once you start trying, you'll get pregnant right away but if not, the learning to be patient thing will really come in handy . If you did decide to go off BCP, there's always the female condom. Would your DH be open to that?

bostonbluejay · April 2011

andy71781:
bostonbluejay:
It has taken me a long time to get regulated after BC. Wait, who am I kidding? I'm still not regular, 6 months later. TCOYF does say that during your first few months of charting you should use a barrier method until you are more familiar with your cycle. I know you were just venting and not really asking anything, but what if you charted and used condoms? Then you could go off BCP sooner and let your body start getting acclimated again.

Yeah I tried that. He doesn't want to wear condoms. He totally believes that the first month off BCP I'll get pregnant. I know that this is an H problem - and I knew he was stubborn like this on the day that I married him. He needs to do this his way and it's so freaking frustrating!!! I'm going to try and get him to agree to use condoms next month. I just don't want to push too hard and have him get totally freaked out about TTC.

Ah, that's a bummer that he is being stubborn about it! I understand why you are frustrated. I mean, TTC is a journey you walk together and you should get to have a say. Really, it's your body that is going to have to adjust to coming off BCP's, then your body that will carry the baby, and your body that will be pushed to it's limits in child birth...If putting on a condom for a little while is the most uncomfortable thing your H has to do, I'd say he has it pretty easy!

If all else fails when you try to get him on board with the condoms, you could always post a request for all of us women on here to reply with the length of time it took our bodies to get regulated after BCP's and have him read it! I don't know if he would like that either, but I am sure the ladies on here would be happy to share their experience.

Regardless of everything else, I really do hope your body adjusts quickly whenever you do decide to stop taking BCPs and the TTC process goes smoothly for you!

andy71781 · April 2011

That is a really great idea!!! I think I might do that - maybe tonight when people are more active online?

closure17 · April 2011

I'm kind of in the opposite situation. I'm the one who wants to wait on the BC stopping, but after reading here the past couple of days I'm starting to rethink that. We have no problems using condoms so maybe after this pack of pills I'll give them up.

Hope your Hubby comes around and if you do post a poll or whatever tonight it might sway me too lol.

waiting~for~him · April 2011

I would wait until he is also comfortable with the idea, but continue to discuss using condoms and other means (or you could let him know that you guys could always just abstain for a bit if he's really that nervous haha jk!) My husband turned pretty white when I told him we had to come off BCP, but he agreed it was best cause that's what my gyn recommends. I'm actually pretty grossed out by condoms (waited until marriage, so never had to bother about them) and I think he is a little too, so we may just wing and see what happens.

I can understand the not wanting to wait a few more months though! SO CLOSE!!

bostonbluejay · April 2011

Yes tonight, or Monday morning would be good too! I think weekday mornings tend to be really active. Lots of people bumping from work!

I think on another post you asked what a CBEFM was. You may have already figured it out, but it's a Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor.

Amomtomanyluvs · April 2011

andy71781:
bostonbluejay:
It has taken me a long time to get regulated after BC. Wait, who am I kidding? I'm still not regular, 6 months later. TCOYF does say that during your first few months of charting you should use a barrier method until you are more familiar with your cycle. I know you were just venting and not really asking anything, but what if you charted and used condoms? Then you could go off BCP sooner and let your body start getting acclimated again.

Yeah I tried that. He doesn't want to wear condoms. He totally believes that the first month off BCP I'll get pregnant. I know that this is an H problem - and I knew he was stubborn like this on the day that I married him. He needs to do this his way and it's so freaking frustrating!!! I'm going to try and get him to agree to use condoms next month. I just don't want to push too hard and have him get totally freaked out about TTC.

My DH was the same way. He wanted me to wait until after February to start trying (I knew why he wanted to wait...we were going to see if wehad an increase in his child support which could impact our financial stability greatly...turns out we ended up getting his son completely and child support became a non issue lol). But I understood why. But we talked about it, and worked out our financial stability regardless of what happened to make sure we would be ok, and we went off in December. It is now April and I am still not pregnant...I would definitely discuss things with your DH, like PP said...this is a decision between the two of you...not just your DH. And the use of the temping/charting method or condoms are a great alternative to BCP!

Good luck!

Lena122 · April 2011

Have him watch The Great Sperm Race (6 part series on YouTube). It's actually pretty interesting and may change his mind about how long it could really take.

andy71781 · April 2011

bostonbluejay:
Yes tonight, or Monday morning would be good too! I think weekday mornings tend to be really active. Lots of people bumping from work!
I think on another post you asked what a CBEFM was. You may have already figured it out, but it's a Clear Blue Easy Fertility Monitor.

Yep I checked out the glossary. I was confused about LP too.

I'll post Monday morning - that sounds like a great idea. I hope all you ladies respond!

mystery1137 · April 2011

andy71781:

bostonbluejay:
It has taken me a long time to get regulated after BC. Wait, who am I kidding? I'm still not regular, 6 months later. TCOYF does say that during your first few months of charting you should use a barrier method until you are more familiar with your cycle. I know you were just venting and not really asking anything, but what if you charted and used condoms? Then you could go off BCP sooner and let your body start getting acclimated again.

Yeah I tried that. He doesn't want to wear condoms. He totally believes that the first month off BCP I'll get pregnant. I know that this is an H problem - and I knew he was stubborn like this on the day that I married him. He needs to do this his way and it's so freaking frustrating!!! I'm going to try and get him to agree to use condoms next month. I just don't want to push too hard and have him get totally freaked out about TTC.

mine was the same...

slmayer1981 · April 2011

Lena122:
Have him watch The Great Sperm Race (6 part series on YouTube). It's actually pretty interesting and may change his mind about how long it could really take.

I love your pit babies!

jaxie320 · April 2011

Aww, good luck! You'll have to figure out what works for both of you. DH was fine with me coming off BCP. It was me who made him get condoms! He doesn't like them though...probably because he hadn't worn one in about 4 years! We've been using them and not using them so we'll see what happens.

The Great Sperm Race is interesting to watch. It's amazing anyone gets pregnant!

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