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Need to vent! (VERY long)

jennypejennype
in Pregnant after IF

Backstory:  My father-in-law moved in with us last summer.  We made him an apartment style area in the back of the house.  He is in bad health and has to use a motorized chair to get around.  When we moved him in we had to agree to let him smoke (the apartment does not have same Heat/AC unit so no return air to our part).  

Back then, there was no baby and did not seem to be one in the future.  I agreed to this because I love my husband and know it makes him feel better with his father close.  

There started to be problems early on with fil leaving door open between our parts of the house.  Smoke would come in and our house smell like smoke.  When we would leave for trips, his care taker would tell us he would force her to leave door open because "Jennifer is not here".  Once I got pregnant I became adamant about the door being left closed.  Arguments were common place here.

My fil broke his hip Tuesday night and he is in the  hospital.  He will be moved to rehab center for at least three weeks.  I will admit it has been wonderful not having him the past few days.  I feel like putting my foot down and saying no smoking in the house at all once he comes home.  I don't think it is too much to ask, do you?  Life has changed since he moved in and I refuse to have my boys around smoke.  IT will be hard enough with two new babies to add the extra stress.  WDYT?? 

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Re: Need to vent! (VERY long)

  • ohiostategalohiostategal member
    I would totally put my foot down on this and don't think it is unreasonable.  You are looking out for the health of your boys.  Good for you.
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  • etoyamaetoyama member
    Definitely put your foot down. Having smoke around you, while pregnant, or around your LOs is not ok. Your house, your rules.
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  • babylove0511babylove0511 member
    I say put your foot down! It is your house and you were kind enough to agree to let him move in with you. You don't need smoke around you and your LO's and I don't think you need to stress over it. YH should be the one to communicate this to his dad. Good luck!
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  • katerenakaterena

    I agree, the smoking is a non negotiable for me too.  G smokes and we have some very strict rules about where he can and can't smoke. Basically, he can not smoke in any enclosed space that I have to go into as well, such as the car, the house etc.  I know it causes some logistical challenges for him, especially on long car trips, but the harder I make smoking for him, the more likely it is that he'll quit!!  (actually, since seeing the heartbeat, we have a very strict deadline for quitting, I'm not raising a child with a smoker!)

    BUT I think the message should come from your husband as a decision he has made.  No fair making you the bad guy!!!! 

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  • ColleenS629ColleenS629 member
    I agree... no smoking in the house should definitely be enforced.
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  • amers83010amers83010
    imagekaterena:

    I agree, the smoking is a non negotiable for me too.  G smokes and we have some very strict rules about where he can and can't smoke. Basically, he can not smoke in any enclosed space that I have to go into as well, such as the car, the house etc.  I know it causes some logistical challenges for him, especially on long car trips, but the harder I make smoking for him, the more likely it is that he'll quit!!  (actually, since seeing the heartbeat, we have a very strict deadline for quitting, I'm not raising a child with a smoker!)

    BUT I think the message should come from your husband as a decision he has made.  No fair making you the bad guy!!!! 

    Absolutely this!! I hope your FIL understands the importance of this and doesn't put up a fight about it.


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  • JenCWJenCW member

    I don't think it's too much to ask for him to respect the rules of your home.

    If your DH needs a well founded reason to support the request to refrain from smoking, it is definitively proven that infants that are regularly exposed to smoke are at increased risk for RSV and several other respiratory problems.  Additionally, with twins it's highly likely that they will be born a little early.  You do not want smoke around preemies at all!

    GL! 

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