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stress. help. (7 wks)

sisterdiscosisterdisco
in 1st Trimester

my boyfriend and I seem to trapped in a stress catch 22. we both work crappy jobs (I'm trying to get another) and before finding out I was pregnant we were pretty much living hand to mouth. needless to say, now that we're trying to keep me and the baby healthy without insurance for the first four months, we're kind of screwed in the finance department. adding to money stress, at the end of May/beginning of June, boyfriend is leaving for three months to finish hiking to Appalachian Trail, a trip I continue to insist he take since this will pretty much be his last chance. He's already said he'd give up hiking the other major scenic trails (the ultimate prize in hiking is to finish all three major scenic trails, known as the triple crown) because of the baby, so I don't want to force him to give up on the AT. So my entire second trimester I will be solely responsible for all the bills, and maybe one more month of out of pocket medical expenses (my health insurance kicks in July 1, and I won't find out about Medicaid until May 1). Add to this general baby stress and hormones, worries about miscarrying, or an accident, making sure I'm eating right, that the general aches and pains are normal, that I have no morning sickness etc, etc, etc. So every time a new bill comes, I get insanely stressed, and then get more stressed thinking about how bad stressing out is for the baby. AAAH! 

please please please, does anyone have any really good stress techniques? all the advice I've found is to do things like go to the movies or get a massage or go out with girlfriends and these are not things I can afford. boyfriend does everything he can to help, but he's also worried about leaving me for three months. I'm 23, my friends like to go to punk shows and drink a ton of beer, I'm a little isolated from them right now. help?

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Re: stress. help. (7 wks)

  • klaceyblairklaceyblair
    yoga. mega stress reliever. just look up positions online. it really will help!
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  • sisterdiscosisterdisco

    thanks! for anyone else who is also crazy stressed I found these:

    https://www.lhj.com/health/fitness/relieve-stress-with-yoga/

    https://www.yogiclogic.com/Yoga-articles/yoga-and-hypertension.php 

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  • ncr2674ncr2674
    Hey girl, first of all you're NOT ALONE! I am 23 years old and I just found I am pregnant too.  It's a shock and a half to say the least.  I quit my job a week before I found out and my boyfriend doesn't exactly have his career figured out yet either.  The finances are already an issue and that is #1 on our worry list! I haven't told any of my friends, because like yours, they party and aren't quite up for the news I'm sure.  I have told most of my family and my sister's friends who are older.  My best advice for you, is to recognize and realize that the ACT of worrying will NOT solve anything.  You can stay up all night worrying and not sleeping, but it won't change ONE outcome the next day! It's a wasted emotion, so you might as well just let it die! Stress won't make money appear.  Try odd jobs or selling a few things.  I am sure 90% of couples aren't financially ready for a child.  Hell knows we're not! But we are getting ready and doing whatever it takes.  Good luck!! =)
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  • happylady07happylady07 member
    imagermj80:

    financial stress is best relieved with a plan...as women, we're wired to stress about money when we don't feel like we have what we need.

    put pencil to paper and figure out what you have coming in and what you have going out.

    start with your basic needs (food, shelter, utilities, basic clothing, basic transportation) and work from there. you can only work with what you have, and those needs need to be taken care of first. after that you have two options, earn more money or spend less.

    when you take the emotion out of money and try to deal with just the facts, it makes it a whole lot less scary! you can also check out www.daveramsey.com for more help. it saved us!

    best wishes!

    GREAT advice!  

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  • ElskerElsker

    As far as finances, I absolutely agree with writing down where your money goes. For an entire month, I kept every single receipt (even if it was for a dollar), and figured our spending out that way. You wouldn't believe how much you'll save just by understanding your own spending habbits. ((i.e. I didn't realize we were spending 25$/ week on cokes and snacks at gas stations, when I could have just bought them in bulk when I went to the grocery store and saved half of that money!))

    Also, it takes a little preparation, but coupons and discount cards (Kroger, Sam's Club, etc..) are a blessing. I have a Kroger card and they have a program on their site that lets you load online coupons directly to the card so you don't have to waste paper. Last year I saved over 500$ on groceries just using that Kroger card, and with all the coupons I had loaded (plus the ones I'd cut out) I usually got around 300$ worth of groceries for under 100$. ((and, you get 10 cents off per gallon of gas by using your Kroger card at their gas stations)).

    Money is my #1 stresser, and keeping track of it and sticking to a budget actually makes me relax a little, because I know I've got control over it. I'm not suggesting OCD as a remedy for your stress, but really buckling down and commiting to a project like that helps keep your mind occupied so there's less time to worry.

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