Fed up... (vent)
FutureMrsWittig
member
My H and I got together when SD was 5. She is 8 now. We were married last year and I was able to add SD to my existing health insurance. BM has insurance for my SD, but it's the KidsCare provided by the state (she has it on her other kids also). Unfortunately my employer is switching insurance companies which means I have to fill out applications for SD to be covered. The companies want copies of our CO so they can see who is "required" to hold insurance on SD to decide if she qualifies as my dependent. Since H and I have been married we have used my insurance as primary and the KidsCare as a secondary.
Here's the problem I'm running into. Our CO doesn't specify a lot of things. BM and H had it drawn up when SD was 2 as a precaution when their relationship started to go south. We had a schedule change last year that gave us primary physical custody but BM and H still retain joint legal custody. BM pays for nothing except food/clothing for SD when she's visiting. We recieve no child support.
Are we going to have to go through another court battle to add on to the original agreement (things like insurance, financial responsibility, etc...)? I don't know if I can take it. I'm 6 mos pregnant on top of all of this, and it's just a ton of stress.
Re: Fed up... (vent)
that stinks you have to go thru that.
My SS is covered under my insurance thru work and there were never any questions asked.
Same - as a matter of fact, when filling out the relationsip portion, stepchild is one of the relationships on the form. I have BCBS. Is the insurance company questioning you or your employer - it seems odd.
I think you need to talk to an HR person. I've worked for multiple companies and I've never heard of any requirements like these for step children. DH just changed jobs and we just went through the whole benefits package, and they had no problem with step kids.
Maybe you can call your HR person or someone at the insurance agency and see what type of documentation would be acceptable. Maybe if BM and your H sign something and have it notarized, that would be sufficient for their purposes. Or maybe a copy of the CO that doesn't hold BM responsible would work.
If I were you, I'd ask questions before worrying about all the hoops you might have to jump through.
All that said, it sounds like there are many good reasons for you to update your CO.
I had no problems adding her to my current insurance when we got married. I did get one request from the insurance company to provide any other insurance BM holds on her so they could determine primary and secondary responsibility. But it was a non-issue.
I asked our HR guy what to do and he said he wasn't sure, but if it was something that would take a lot of time to obtain we should "start working on it" so that when the enrollment date comes up we have it if we need it.
H called the lawyer and said that if BM is agreeable to it we should have no problem just drafting an amendment that everyone signs and submits to the court that says primary physical custodian will provide primary insurance, etc... I think BM will be okay with that.
As for our other issues... we def do need to update our CO. So not excited.
Thanks for your advice and support.
It may be the KidsCare causing the problem. If that is listed as her secondary but is provided by the state (so covers pretty much everything) they may not want to cover her. Also showing you are the custodial household (with a CO or tax returns) should do the trick.
I am not familiar with the KidsCare but I am assuming it is similar to what we have in OH. BM would have to list SD as a resident and she can not be carried on any insurance policy.
Try the tax return route if you claim her or the CO showing being the custodial household. If it doesn't work KidsCare may have to pick up all the expenses.
That is really odd. My H added my dd to his policy after we got married, and all they wanted was a copy of our marriage certificate, her birth certificate and SS card.
I hope it works out for you and you don't have to go to court UGH!
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My insurance did "random verification" checks and needed me to scan and upload on their verification site the following information to prove my children were my legal dependents: scans of the birth certificates, Social Security cards and my most recent tax forms listing the children as dependents.
I didn't need my CO saying that I was the one that legally had to provide the health insurance. Although, it's in my CS support information.
I didn't think of that.
Just found out BM is going to have another baby. Apparently she can't have more than 3 dependents on her KidsCare plan, so she will probably drop SD when the baby comes.
Thanks!