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Parenting after 35
would $$ concerns stop or delay LO#2 (long)?
I've been pretty vocal about wanting kiddo #2. DH was hesitant for a long time but now is fully on board. I work an 80% schedule outside of the home and DH works at home doing computer repair - which is going well, but business is building more slowly than we had hoped (and our projections were conservative, given the economy). We are both close to 39 and for us, we are pushing the age ceiling for our own personal comfort level (that said, I know many people have their 2nd much older than us and are fine, but that's just our own personal take on it). I guess my question is would you delay kiddo #2 or just not have one due to $$ concerns? We are doing okay, but honestly are squeaking by until his business picks up so the thought of having another kiddo is scary.
Yes, I could pick up that 5th day on my schedule but I really treasure that time with T and am very reluctant to give it up. Plus, that's DH's day to push his marketing, etc. to get his stuff going and I don't want to take that from him. We could wait to see how his business goes or go ahead and TTC with me working the 5th day as a back up plan until I go on leave (I'm an atty so the 5th day would make a significant difference in our income) but is that just irresponsible? I would add to this that I don't think we'll ever be well off (we live in a very HCOL area) and I'm okay with that. I had to work for every single thing I have and paid my own way through college, so I'm not so concerned about that stuff. My concern is more shorting T of things that I really want to give her, like swim lessons and sports if we have another kiddo. Thanks for listening if you got this far and sorry for the whining and excessive use of parentheses 
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Re: would $$ concerns stop or delay LO#2 (long)?
It depends on what kind of financial future you want for your family and how you're managing now. If you're OK with living a comfortable (not rich) lifestyle and can offer your LOs enough opportunities (not all the extras) then I would say go for it! But if you're struggling to make ends meet now and don't have any savings and tons of debt, then I would say you have to think about it a bit more.
Personally, I would pick having baby #2 over finances, b/c you can always make more money and improve your financial status but you can't turn back that biological clock. In an ideal world, we would all have plenty of money to have 5 kids and send them to ballet classes, soccer, private school, Ivy League, etc. But most of us have to get by with what we have. I don't think you need to take kids to all those extra activities to have them excel in life. There are plenty of things that are cheap or free that serve the same purpose. Plus, I think kids benefit more from quality time with their parents than anything else.
It's a very personal decision, only you and your DH can answer that question but good luck
Our circumstances are far from ideal, but we are going to go for #2 this year anyway because I think the regret I'd feel from not doing it would be greater than the stress I'll feel from adding another member to the family. It's a tough equation, but I'd rather go ahead and do it now. (I'll be 37 this year and I know that's not the end of the world, but I'd like to minimize whatever risk I can; plus I want our kids to be relatively close in age). I feel like if I wait for a time when everything will be exactly like I'd like it to be....that day is just not coming.
That said, while we're not where we want to be financially we are not struggling mightily or anything, and there is plenty of fluff in our budget we can/should cut out, etc. If we were seriously strapped for $$ it might be different.
If money is the biggest concern.. here's a good question to think about.
If you wait 2 years.. will you STILL be worried about money? Of course you will. So really, is there that big of a deal to try now or try later?
As we AMA mommies all know, you can always get more money, but you may not have more baby-making time left on the body clock.
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This exactly. Sounds like money concerns might always be there. If it's not risking your home or jeopardizing basic necessities, I'd probably go for it.
DD -- 5YO
DS -- 3YO
~Benjamin Franklin
DS dx with celiac disease 5/28/10
This totally. Sometimes waiting can cost you your dreams or it can even cost you alot more money (should you need help like IVF). 42 here, working on LO 2, after #1 took years & THOUSANDS to conceive. Sorry for that downer. My RE just told me even 2 years makes a big difference on egg quantity & quality. But if you didn't have problems with conceiving #1, maybe #2 won't be a problem either.
Money did not stop us.. not sure what that makes us. We are getting by but are definitely making sacrifices (but to me they are soooo worth it). I was laid off right before our 2nd was born & we decided to have a third (aging was definitely a factor for having them so close together). I figure I can always go back to work when the kids are older (they are not going to be this little forever). We live by a budget & it works very well. The budget is actually going to keep me home longer than I planned.
Money played a big role in my deciding to stop at one.
We only barely were able to pay our bills / rent before we moved into my childhood home with my parents. Debt was growing and would have taken over. Thankfully we are finally on the road to clearing it--but it will take years, see below.
We cannot afford daycare for ONE and we will have to do this soon. So when we do, that will delay paying off debt.
My family business is likely to fail this year so I have to look for a new job. Possibly entry level due to career switch.
There were other factors in our decision--age, lack of support--but money was a big reason why. We want to be able to retire one day. Perhaps help DS go to college. Honestly, a 2nd would tip us over--especially since we'd have to have 2 in daycare and in NJ that would probably be about $2K per month.
Bronx Zoo: Summer 2013
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Yeah, my cousin lives in Massachusetts and daycare there is also around $2K a month for two. It's ridiculous. No wonder only the people living off the government are having kids. What do they care? They get free food, free healthcare and almost free housing. Oh, and free toys at Christmas. But this is a whole other debate.