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2nd Trimester
babyshower étiquette...
If no one offers to throw you a baby shower what do you do? I want to experience a baby shower. This is my first child. I want to have all the games and such. But so far no one has mentioned it....
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Re: babyshower étiquette...
you don't have one.
Sorry. Maybe someone is planning you a surprise shower or something. But it's not ok to throw your own and it most certainly not ok to ask someone to host one.
This.
This, exactly.
Sorry, OP. I've had several people ask when my shower is but no one has offered to throw one either.
Yup. Sorry
You are still really early for shower talk. Mine was at 38w, which is late, but still do-able. I didn't find out one was even being thrown until 34w.
I agree with other posters, though. It's bad etiquette to throw your own.
Go Phils!!
I agree 100%.
Why not throw your own? I mean come on, its 2011. If you want to spend time with your friends and family, and feel a little "special" before the baby, GO FOR IT.
You do not have to make gifts "mandatory" just say Hey! I'm having a get together for people to see me while I am huge! (and before I go in hibernation).
Go for it, and have fun!
I sort of agree with this. I would definitely wait and see if someone offers but if no one has said anything by like 25 weeks I don't see any reason why you couldn't have a casual thing with friends on your own. You could even make it really casual and do a guy/girl baby shower bbq or something. Or if you're close with you're mom, just be direct and ask her if she's planning on/would be willing to host a shower for you. I think the whole "family shouldn't throw it" is b.s. How is planning your own baby shower any more rude or tacky than throwing your own birthday party?
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unfortunately this.
yep. I know the mother throwing a bridal shower is typically taboo...but at least here, it's normal for the grandma to be to throw one sometimes.
I wouldn't attend a shower thrown by the guest of honor...but I would send an Emily Post book with my regrets.
I think this is tacky too.Besides that point, adult birthday parties are not necessarily gift giving occasions. Baby showers are held for the sole purpose of giving gifts for the baby. That's why its a shower, because you shower the parents with gifts. If you want a baby celebration party and want to throw it yourself, don't call it a shower, because that is basically asking for gifts for yourself, which is beyond rude.
This. The reason for a shower is to shower the mom with gifts. No one has to give you gifts, nor do they have to throw you a shower, just as birthday gifts are not mandatory.
I didn't want one (this is my first) b/c i was just married in Sept and had my wedding shower last July, so I thought it would be pretentious...then my cousin (more like a sister to me) said, "you're having one and it's at my house"...i am insistent on buying the invitations (she can design them how she wants), favors, and most of the food (my mom wants to take care of all of that, but she just helped pay for my wedding!)....i guess the timing was off and i feel guilty, but it family insists, go with it!
i'm sure they will have something for you...even if it's a little get-together with family only. ask mom about it!
I agree about not throwing your own, it just seems really really tacky. If it's a baby celebration like other people have mentioned, that's cool, but would still be tacky if the baby is not even born yet, because it'd be obvious it's just for the gifts and not to oooh and aaah over your huge belly.
I don't think it's wrong to ask someone you're close to throw you a shower. I have a good friend who lives out of province and doesn't know anyone where she lives. She was coming home for a visit and called me up asking if I wouldn't mind doing it. She felt bad asking, but I'd have done it anyway, had I known she was going to be home. If it's a close friend like that, then it's not wrong to ask favours, even big ones.
Also, I don't think it's wrong for your mom to throw the shower. My mom threw one, and my MIL threw one for me. It's NOTHING like a wedding, where the parents typically pay for things, and are essentially asking guests to help foot the bill of what they'd otherwise have to pay. Babies are completely different, the parents-to-be usually pay for their own baby stuff unless there's a shower, and it's not improper for parents to host.
Do people REALLY throw their own shower? As in, with registry information and everything? At their house? With their name as the host?
At least make up an Aunt Ida or Cousin Jeanine and throw it at a restaurant or VFW hall or something!
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