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Babies: 3 - 6 Months
kristin2t
member
Should we do a sleeping check in?
kristin2t
member
Maybe this is totally dumb, but I wonder if it would be helpful to have a check-in for people working on STTN issues? (I don't really know how to word that, but ya know what I mean, people sleep training can update the progress, people with questions about sleep training, etc...)
I know before we started our modified Ferberizing, it was always super helpful to read other people's process and their successes. This would maybe be a way to consolidate that?
Yay? Nay?
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Should we do a sleeping check in?
My baby sleeps like sh!t.
I'm sure it's a combo of the reflux and his refusal to eat at the sitter that is waking him up, but I just want someone to come take him for the day or night so I can please get more than 2 hours of sleep at a time.
I am becoming a mean, horrible person. The PPD isn't getting any better, and I think it's because I get no sleep. DH can't even help with night feedings because he refuses a bottle : (
I am officially at my wits end.
end rant/
I'm having some sleep issues the past few nights and wouldn't mind some advice if people are willing to read my long-ass post?
I have a big boy who likes to eat a lot. He has STTN a handful (like maybe 4) times since birth. Most of the time he wakes 1 time (between 2-3:30) for a bottle and goes right back to bed.
Recently, he has been very fidgety (sp?) at night and just not sleeping as soundly. He's also waking up more frequently, and it seems the only thing that will calm him is a bottle, yet he drinks 1-2 ounces then falls back asleep, then wakes up again a little while after and takes another 1-2.
DS has never been a good sleeper when he is away from us-we bedshare right now (we don't want to, but it's what works best for him to sleep) but now that even that is not keeping him sleeping i don't know what to do. I'm not ready for him to CIO or even Ferber. If he starts crying he gets extremely sweaty (like soak through his clothes sweaty) and it's very diffiuclt to calm him down.
Any advice, other than just try Ferber or CIO?
ETA: We try to do drowsy but awake but it's always a fail.
I know you don't want to do Ferber, but have you read his book? He has some advice in there about feedings contributing to night wakings. It seems to be true for us, at least in that the more DS eats, the more he wakes too. After a few days of pushing back his feedings (we EBF, so I'm not exactly sure how to do it with a bottle) he has significantly reduced his wakings. I'm not sure if you FF or are pumping, but I'm remembering for FF, Ferber recommends diluting the bottle, especially if he's just taking a few ounces at a time, but I am Formula dumb, so maybe that's not appropriate?
Anyway, when I got really desperate with Jack, I was feeding him a ton at night, and I think it actually made things worse. So, once I found a way to reduce those, things got better. Will he take a pacifier at all? I'm sure that's beyond obvious and you've tried it....
I was also very, very anti-Ferber, but after doing a week of DS waking up every 20 minutes all night, and me crying all day, and generally falling apart, I decided we needed to try it. I was blown away, the most he cried was 17 minutes, and reduced his wakings from 14 to 3 times a night, over just three nights. I really don't want to seem like I'm pushing this on you, because I know it needs to be a decision that fits for your family, but I was just really surprised by DS is all. It doesn't have to be the 2 hour long crying experiences that other people have had.
Good luck! I know the interrupted sleep is killer. And, sorry for writing you a novel.
So, just in case anyone is reading this, I have a question for those that used the progressive waiting method. It has been a miracle for us at night. Reduced his crazy wakings to 3-4, and really has had minimal crying (actually, MUCH less crying than when we were actively trying to put him back to sleep at each waking).
So, the only thing is that his naps have shortened, he doesn't make it past one sleep cycle anymore (30-45 minutes). I know Ferber says to allow them to stay up once they wake even if it's a short time, but I'm just wondering if this is forever, or can I more actively help him nap longer at some point? Or is that going to happen on its own once he gets his nighttime sleep down?
I would enjoy a sleeping check in, and I mostly need help for MYSELF in getting him to sleep at night. I think he would maybe do okay with some sleep training, but I am so sleep deprived, that at midnight when he wakes for the first time, I just stumble to his crib and bring him to bed with me. Then I think he just wakes and eats MORE cuz I am right there. Ugh. I need support in the middle of the night... but DH works nights. So that's why I just drag him into bed with me and accomplish nothing.
There's my rambling for the day.
Another friend reminded me it may be teething-which I had forgotten about. Thank you for your reply-I hope it helps me get some sleep!
I totally hear this! I went 5 months without more than 2 hours of sleep. I was as much a part of the problem as anything. When we did start sleep training, I just decided I was not going to sleep for the night, because, like you, I would just stumble into his room and nurse him every time he woke up. So, I got some movies, and decided I would try and stay up. Turns out, it only took DS 17 minutes (with three checks) to sleep his longest stretch ever, the first night. I know that might not be typical, but I guess I underestimated how ready DS was to put himself to sleep, and back to sleep. So maybe it can't hurt to try? I just kept telling myself that the night was going to suck, but it would be worth it in the long run, but, it didn't even end up sucking!
I know you were just venting, and I hope it's not annoying that I shared my experience, just wanted to commiserate, and maybe give you some hope?
This is so my child as well. Even when I just set him down so I can get ready for bed he screams like he is going to die and feels like he is on fire. So I am not for any CIO method at all. We try to soothe him while he is in the PNP next to the bed but that does not always work so then we bedshare. It does not help that I work full-time so at night I will do anything just to get him to keep sleeping.
Actually, that is a really good idea. Just find a night where I don't have to do anything the next day and just stay up with some coffee. Because the problem is once I fall asleep, it's like I change my stance on the whole situation and go - 'Who cares, I'm just bringing him to bed with me, I'm too tired.' I seriously need to try this, thanks!
Oh, PS, when you do your checks, can you comfort him by giving paci back, rub his cheek, etc. - just not pick him up? I need to read some sort of book I think.
Yes, exactly! Once I'm asleep, my resolve is loooong gone. We do a modified version of what Ferber suggests (since we ditched the swaddle the first night too, I didn't want to leave him without his paci also) So, I rub his belly, stroke his cheek, shhh, and give him back his paci- although he hasn't wanted that less and less each night, we just never pick him up out of the crib unless it's to eat, or time to wake up. I stay in there for less than 2 minutes, and just remind myself the goal is to let him know I am always there, not to soothe him to sleep, or, to even soothe him until he stops fussing.
I highly recommend Ferber's book, tons of information just about sleep, and a lot of other suggestions about how to improve sleep hygiene that doesn't include his progressive waiting. It was incredibly helpful long before we did any formal sleep training.