Question for you ladies (TICKER WARNING, Preg. discussed)

katecham · March 2011

Hi all. I found this board when I was having a threatened miscarriage and was blown away by how amazingly strong, courageous, uplifting and caring you all are. My sister died immediately after birth (I was 11) and I saw how hard that was on my mother - she still can't talk about it. I hope me posting here does not offend anyone, but I have a question and would really like some input.

DH and I have a very good friend (she actually set us up on a blind date). She was in an accident in college and had severe injuries. About a month after she got out of the hospital they discovered she had ovarian cancer and she had to have a hysterectomy to get the tumor out (at age 19). She has always wanted kids but now is not physically able to have them.

WARNING: PREGNANCY DISCUSSED:

We are having a baby and would like to honor her involvement and importance in our lives by using her name as the middle name if the baby is a girl/variation if it is a boy. Would that be a good idea? We love her so much and really want our child to be named after such a strong person. I am worried that doing so might come across as "rubbing it in her face" that she can't have a baby. I don't want to hurt her. Would using her name be too much?

lotus88 · March 2011

I'm not in her situation, but I think I would be honored. Do you plan on discussing this with her before the naming? I think that would be a good idea.

My bf didn't find out the sex of her baby. The week she had him, I was waiting to miscarry my own pregnancy. If it had been a girl, it would've been named after me. I don't know how I would've felt at that moment because I was so overwhelmed with conflicting emotions and so raw with agony. That being said, at this point it would be nothing but an honor.

rissa_n · March 2011

I think I would be honored if I was in your friend's shoes, but it might be a good idea to ask her about it to see what her feelings are beforehand. Good luck and congrats on your pregnancy.

lavril · March 2011

I think it's a sweet idea, but I would definitely ask her before hand and let her know that it's okay for her to say no if she wants. Me personally - I would be totally honored

LIa0909 · March 2011

I would certainly ask your friend. We can only advise you on what we all would think of it if it were us... and everyone is different. We named out daughter that just passed after our best friend (his last name, Carter). He had passed away two years ago very suddenly. I had always liked the name as a first name but didn't know how to bring it up to my hubby. One night DH just turned to me and said, "What about Carter? And you know, I think it could work even if it is a girl." We decided we liked it even better for a girl's name.

I think in almost all cases, people realize that naming after them is an honor. But I would still even discuss it with her so she knows that is what you want out of giving your child her name. Goodluck with the rest of your pregnancy.

yeliza h · March 2011

I think that I would be honored as well. But as all the ladies mentioned, it is something that you should discuss with her first.

amandachs · March 2011

I would definatly discuss it with her prior to the babies birth or name announcement. That being said, I would think it would be a great honor. My husbands best friend had four boys and named each of them after his best friends. I smile knowing there's a little Kenneth Allen running around out there and that he was named for my husband, especially now that we've lost our baby.

mfpickle25 · April 2011

First: Thank you for being so aware and considerate of all the ladies on this board.

Second: I personally would be honored, but I would chat with your friend about it first.

Question for you ladies (TICKER WARNING, Preg. discussed)

Re: Question for you ladies (TICKER WARNING, Preg. discussed)

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