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Thanks ladies

AmandaMacDAmandaMacD member
in Secondary IF

As upset as I am about this, I really think I did most of my "mourning" last Wed, when I found out that my embies were not doing well. I've never, in this whole journey, made it to a beta....I always get my period first at around 10 DPO, which is today b/c I am 7dp3dt.

When I went to the bathroom this morning, there was bright red blood and some clots.  The bleeding has turned back to spotting, but this happens ALL.THE.TIME, so I am not even a little bit encouraged.  I know that this happens to some people, but I have never been that person, so I am not even getting my hopes up. 

For the past week, I have been going back and forth as to whether or not I even want to have another child.  I want my life back.  I miss me and I don't know how much more I am willing to sacrifice. 

You ladies are all amazing and I appreciate all of the support. 

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Re: Thanks ladies

  • Stacy092306Stacy092306 member
    Just want to give you a big hug.  (((hug)))
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    TTC #2, Operative hysteroscopy March 2011; IVF #1 long lupron protocol April 2011-cancelled due to poor response; IVF #2 flare protocol May 2011=hospitalization due to abdominal hemorrhage during ER and no fert due to MFI issues. Moving onto international adoption from Moldova January 2013!
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  • AmandaMacDAmandaMacD member

    imageStacy092306:
    Just want to give you a big hug.  (((hug)))

    Thanks lovey.  You've got a big cycle coming up.  I am so excited for you.

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    Doriimage
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."
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  • kellyjg123kellyjg123
    Oh Amanda, I wish I could give you a hug.  I hope you can find some quiet time for yourself today where you can just forget about it all for a little while.  Praying for you.
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  • sgrobstesgrobste member
    I am so sorry......BIG ((HUGS)))
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  • JMayJMay member
    Amanda, this is such a difficult journey.  I'm so sorry for the turn this cycle has taken, but I commend you on your continued strength.  I also empathize with the feeling of wanting your life back.  Please know that whatever you decide, we're here for you and wish you nothing but the best.  Sending positive energy and the biggest bump-hug I can muster.  (HUG)
    Doriimage
    "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming..."

    Miracle DD born 12.2005
    TTC #2 since Dec 2008 w/ PCOS
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  • choirgirlchoirgirl

    imageJMay:
    Amanda, this is such a difficult journey.  I'm so sorry for the turn this cycle has taken, but I commend you on your continued strength.  I also empathize with the feeling of wanting your life back.  Please know that whatever you decide, we're here for you and wish you nothing but the best.  Sending positive energy and the biggest bump-hug I can muster.  (HUG)

    I have to second what Jenna said. I'm so sorry this cycle appears to not have worked out, I am just hoping beyond hope that your RE can come up with something to address you issues and that you can have another go at it. At the same time, I totally being torn by wanting your life back. 

    I also wanted to say, when a friend (IRL) asked me if I was OK on Sunday, I told her I'd done all of my crying and worked it all out the day before with my temp drop.  But then I spent the entire day Monday sobbing.  So if this backs up on you, you know where to come, right here.

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  • hope4ushope4us member
    I also wish I could give you a big o' hug right now!  {{{hug}}}  I've know exactly how you feel.  It seems like I have been there way too many times myself.  Whatever you decide to do though, we will all still love you.
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    TTC #2 since Nov '07
    Tried 4 cycles of Clomid, TI, Gonal-f, and IUI's - all BFFN's
    Both tubes removed Nov '09
    Low AMH = 0.3
    IVF #1 for Feb '10 - cancelled due to poor response - Gonal-f and Repronex
    IVF #1.2 for June '10 - Gonal-f, Menopur, and micro Lupron
    ER - 6/19 (2 retrieved), ET - 6/22 (1 transferred with ICSI), Beta 7/5 = BFFN
    IVF #2 for Nov '10 was cancelled due to poor response - Follistim, Repronex, and micro Lupron
    IVF #2.2 for Feb '11 - Gonal-f, Repronex, and Ganirelix
    ER - 2/24 (8 retrieved), ET - 3/1 (2 transferred with ICSI), froze 3, Beta 3/11 = BFFN
    FET - 4/19 (3 transferred), Beta 4/28 = BFP, EDD 1/4/12
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