Success after IF

Who has kids 3 years apart?

Yes, I know I am way ahead of myself...but I'm trying to be optimistic...

Cal will either be about to turn 3 or have just turned 3 when this baby arrives.

How was the transition for your 3-year-old?  Most experiences I hear on this board are those of kids closer to 2.  Just curious how this might differ from the 2-year-old norm (better?  worse?).

Thanks.  :)

Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!

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Re: Who has kids 3 years apart?

  • Our next door neighbors have girls a little more than 3 years apart. We're good friends and from what I can see, the girls are very close. The older one was potty trained before her sister arrived, which was awesome. And she was always, and still is, very motherly towards her.

    I think it's a great age difference.

  • I'm interested to hear too as I hope our children will be about 3 years apart. :)
    Allison
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  • Being optimistic as well, I hope for this age difference as well. We plan to try this summer and the boys would turn 3 a month or so before the baby was born. I would like them to be potty trained and in big boy beds by that point.  Don't know if we coudl do 3 in diapers!!!
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  • I LOVE the 3 years (and 17 days ;)) age difference.  LOVE.  Kira has plenty of issues that frustrate me to no end, but she is GREAT with Elena.  She knew where baby sister was when I was pg, we read a few books in my 3rd trimester, and the rest just came naturally.  Her language exploded *right* after Elena was born (like that weekend!), so that's made it fun too.   She is mean to everyone else in this house ;), but not Elena.  She loves helping, and that's been completely initiated by her.  I wouldn't change a thing!  (*Personally*, I'd "choose" to go closer to 3.5 years than 2.5 years.)
    Pregnant with #1 with PCOS and LPD, success with mostly naturopathic treatments
    Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07

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    Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
    Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
  • imagealchris:
    I LOVE the 3 years (and 17 days ;)) age difference.  LOVE.  Kira has plenty of issues that frustrate me to no end, but she is GREAT with Elena.  She knew where baby sister was when I was pg, we read a few books in my 3rd trimester, and the rest just came naturally.  Her language exploded *right* after Elena was born (like that weekend!), so that's made it fun too.   She is mean to everyone else in this house ;), but not Elena.  She loves helping, and that's been completely initiated by her.  I wouldn't change a thing!  (*Personally*, I'd "choose" to go closer to 3.5 years than 2.5 years.)

    I was hoping you'd answer!  And I'm glad to know it's been a positive experience!

    Childhood cancer (DH) + chemo + radiation = 0 sperm.
    LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
    LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
    Life is beautiful!

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  • My DD is 3 years 3 months older than DS, With DS she is perfect, sweet, gentle, caring, helpful.  She is interested in all things baby, esp the diaper changes.  The only thing I've notiiced is she is becoming quite attention seeking (esp with DH) and her sleeping has completely hit the sh!tter.  It takes about an hour and a half for her to get to sleep, with constant screaming/crying, and she is up about 6 times a night.  I can only attribute this to the new baby, as sleeping has never been easy with her but certanly not like this.  But it has only been 10 day of this so I am hoping that this too shall pass and she will be her lovely STTN gal that she was before.
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  • Mine are only just over 2.5 years apart. It was pretty smooth... Difficult for maybe the first week. Had to really reign DS1 in discipline-wise, but so much better than I expected. I think it helped to prepare him A LOT for what was coming...books, etc. He does like to pretend he's a baby sometimes, though. I think it's fine and will pass. He's anxious to interact more with DS2...That's been the hardest part for him.
  • DS was 3 yrs 3 mo when DS2 was born.  It hasn't been as easy as I had hoped, but not as bad as I had feared either.  I think the bottom line is there is no perfect time to add another child.  I wanted the 3 yr spacing because I hoped for only one in diapers (fortunately DS potty trained around 2 1/2) and that he'd be more independent and could do things for himself (He can, but often times he still wants my 'help'.)

    The worst part of it for me is that nursing isn't a pleasant experience for me like it was the first time.  I'm constantly trying to defend myself and the baby from being attacked and as a result I have to raise my voice a lot.  I'm hoping that soon the baby will nap on his own and not in my arms so that I can have one on one time with DS1 and that his behavior will improve as a result.

    Married 9-4-04

    ***PM me for my IF history***

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  • I'm also curious.  Eli will be a month or two shy of turning 3.  So far he is very interested in all things baby and tells everyone about his new sister.  He does think she is in his tummy but I think the age difference will be good. 
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  • Sorry I had to wrap up quickly yesterday!  What I was trying to say at the end was that given the choice, which of course in real life we don't have, I'd personally choose between 3-3.5 years rather than between 2.5-3 years.  I just think there's a lot of growth leading up to 3 that really makes it ideal.  Kira was talking about babies last year even before we told her I was pg; that made her really excited over the coming months when she knew she would be having a baby sister.  After the birth, she was excited from the moment she met her baby sister, as if she had fully understood that she was going to be a real person (which shocked me -- it's hard enough for me to understand!).  She really dotes on Elena.  Elena is asleep right now, but before she fell asleep Kira was reading to her holding up a book, having grabbed a wipe (cloth wipe) "in case Elena spits up."  And the language boom has really helped too since Kira is really reading (from memory), and in general really talking in complete sentences about things.  She can do quite a bit by herself now too; 3.5 would be even better for that. ;)  Plus I loved having 3 years to enjoy Kira; I'm amazed that she shows no jealously at all, considering all the hands-on time a newborn takes!  And Kira is FAR from an easy child, but all of her good qualities come out as big sister.  I truly wouldn't change a thing about their spacing!  And we really did minimal to prepare her -- like I said before, just pointing to my belly as "baby sister" and reading a few books. :)
    Pregnant with #1 with PCOS and LPD, success with mostly naturopathic treatments
    Our Thanksgiving Day baby 11/22/07

    imageimageimage

    Pregnant with #2 with LPD, uterine polyp/hysteroscopy, DOR (AMH = 0.17), 2 c/ps
    Our early Christmas present 12/9/10
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