Baby Showers

Shower Host Ettiquette Q

Quick back story: I refused a shower before the baby is born for this pregnancy just because of my own past history. I had friends, family beg and plead with me to have one, but I just couldn't.

My stepsister managed to compromise with me, and I agreed to have one after the baby is born. She asked to throw it, and has been really excited about planning it.

Here's my dilemma. She is financially strapped, and well, we're not. She's got 2 very young kids, and her DH has been out of work for awhile. I don't want her to spend any of her own money on this because of her situation.

Is there an appropriate way to offer to pay for this? Or should I just ask my dad to "pay" for it, to help her out?

Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section

Re: Shower Host Ettiquette Q

  • First off, your situation is so unique I don't think you could possibly do anything people would see as "tacky". I would say (if she is the proud type) to have your dad offer to help pay for whatever is needed. If she isn't the type to take offense, I would offer to help in any way you can, money-wise. 
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  • Embarrassed Thank you.  I don't want to offend her at all, so I think maybe I will have my dad give her money and then she'll think it came from him instead of me.
    Stillbirth at 23w6d on Sept, 22, 2008 M/C at 5 weeks June 14, 2010 My miracle, James Frederick born May 2, 2011 via C-section
  • I totally agree with Patty. I think you have the right idea of asking your dad to "secretly" help her out. My sister used to be not so good off financially and I know she would have wanted to do it with no help from me, so I understand where you are coming from in wanting to help her out.
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