- Pregnancy
- Baby & Toddler
- Parents
- Getting Pregnant
- Baby Names
- Product Reviews
-
Registry
- Community
-
More
Want a personalized experience?
Download the free app
Single Parents
living like a robot...( kinda long)
hi everyone,. you all have been great help for me thus far, and i can really see the strength in everyone on this board. but saying that,
it makes me that much more aware of how little strength i have right now. I am so broken and i feel like a robot right now. I am just going through the motions each day and have no joy in anything except the few minutes my LO is not screaming her head off. I just dont know how i am going to move past this. what do you do to get to the point where you dont cry every single time you think about it. I am either this fake robot person, or a sobbing mess. Its been a month since we seperated and I cant seem to get any better.I am in couseling but i dont feel any different. he obviously already has someone- the OW he cheated with, and i am alone and depressed. I even catch myself thinking that if he ever wanted to be together again I would say yes, and I know i shouldnt do that- not that he wants to- he says hes not in love with me anymore and thats why he cheated.( after 9 yrs together)
anyway, i guess i just dont even really feel human right now, and i dont know how to keep going like this. how can i be a good mom when i cant stop crying.at this point i dont feel good enough for a man and i dont feel good enough to be Emmalin's mom. I cant shake these horrible feelings.
i just hope that maybe in another month i will have 1/8 of the strength you ladies have. TIA, sorry for the vent/pitty party.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: living like a robot...( kinda long)
Hugs to you. This is the hardest point. For me, the worst was the first 2-3 months. After that, the sadness/anger came and went in phases for a couple more months. But honestly, I am now happy 80% of the time- and happier than I was when I was married. Counseling will help tremendously, but honestly time is what will help the most.
Do you have any close friends or family that live nearby? Right now, just try to lean on any support that you have, and let people help you and take care of you and your daughter so that you can get through this rough period. I promise it will start to get better soon!
http://oi62.tinypic.com/2w73hq9.jpg
All of this. Big hugs to you and we are all here anytime you need to *talk*
First of all big ((HUGS)).
Don't look at US as an example of where you should be right now. We certainly didn't get this way overnight. I'm sure you can't go all the way back to the beginning posts on here, but if you did, you would see that many of us were a hot mess. I wasn't crying every second but my life was still filled with chaos and drama and it seemed like every other day I posted about something insane that was going on with my XH.
It's a process. counseling helps immensely but, unfortunately, you just have to go through the stages. You can't rush this. You WILL get there though.
I blogged about this awhile ago. I was feeling ashamed of going through different things in this process (in the beginning letting XH get away with too much, still being manipulated by him, worrying constantly about finding a man to fill a "void" in my life, etc.) but I realize now that it's all part of it. I think about women who are on the other side of things and have been for some time (Sweetie is the first one that comes to mind). She's had a good five years (or more I might be underestimating it) since she went through her divorce. She has infinite wisdom and strength as a result of this. But she'll be the first one to say that she learned through trial and error.
Hang in there. The best thing you can do is just keep going ahead. Even if you feel like a robot, you're doing what you have to do. I felt like a robot for about seven months after my split. I was sleep deprived and just exhausted emotionally from all of the drama in my life. You'll get to where you need to be.
I journaled a lot in the beginning. I still have the two jounrals and they are both locked w/ a little diary lock and i have the key on my keychain still.
I go back and read what I wrote from time to time and wonder who was that person...and then amaze myself about how much happiness I have now that I appreciate so much more b/c it was so hard then.
I did so many many things wrong. IRL I'm the bad example.
But I did many things right. I know that robot feeling. I hugged my kids tighter. But that robot feeling is good b/c while you are healing that robot keeps putting one foot in front of the other and every day you will heal and you will come back and realize how far that robot took you away from the hurt.
Also start getting busy learning your new self. Your new normal and your new family. I taught myself to knit watching videos on www.knittinghelp.com
It doesn't cost a lot if you don't want to. But there are youtube videos of everythign from how to install your own transmition in your car to how to boil and egg. And each time you learn something even if it takes days-weeks-months- years to accomplish you can say. I did this. I made this with out anyone's help. I have at least an 8th grade reading level and I can read the instruction manual for anything and learn how to do it BY MY SELF!
I think back to where I was last year at this time. Sleepless nights, red, bloodshot eyes from crying every single day, feeling so sorry for my pregnant self, all while STBXH was having a gay ole time with OW. I think I cried every single day during 2010. I have come SO far in the past few months since we separated. I know more about myself now than I ever did being in a relationship and I now know what I can handle, what I will tolerate, and what I want for myself.
You will get there too. Time. Rest. Healthy eating. Leaning on friends and family. All little things, but all huge for you right now for your mentality and grieving process. And we're here for you--vent whenever you want!!!