Meeting potential doula next week

Luv4Minnesota · March 2011

Hi Ladies-

I don't think I've ever posted on this board but I have lurked for a while now. I am so excited I just booked a meeting with one of the doulas that has been recommended to me.

If you hired a doula, do you have any questions/topics that you found helpful in choosing the right doula for you?

Thanks!

cjgiannotti · March 2011

The Bump actually has a list of questions they suggest asking and that's what I used. I think the most important part is that you're comfortable with her and feel like she will support your decisions and help you obtain the birth that YOU want to have and not have her own agenda.

cjgiannotti · March 2011

<a href="https://pregnant.thebump.com/pregnancy/pregnancy-tools/articles/checklist-interviewing-a-doula.aspx">Checklist: Interviewing a Doula</a>

Here's the link

Luv4Minnesota · March 2011

Thanks, I did see that article. I just wondered if anyone had anything that had really made a difference for them and helped them decide and know someone was for them.

NebMom · March 2011

Yes

i'm a doula. and what i recommend is that you find someone who, A, really seems focused on YOUR wishes, and lets you tell them your wishes, not bowls over you with their opinions on birth, and B, your personality meshes well with.

its good to find out their feelings on birth, so you make sure its close to yours and what you want to experience, but the personality and 'connection' is important, in order for you to feel comfortable with them being in the room for your big day. i can tell in an interview when my personality and the couple's doesn't mesh. interview several if you have to, to find the right one! and congrats!

Temp110085250009077 · March 2011

NebMom:

i'm a doula. and what i recommend is that you find someone who, A, really seems focused on YOUR wishes, and lets you tell them your wishes, not bowls over you with their opinions on birth, and B, your personality meshes well with.

its good to find out their feelings on birth, so you make sure its close to yours and what you want to experience, but the personality and 'connection' is important, in order for you to feel comfortable with them being in the room for your big day. i can tell in an interview when my personality and the couple's doesn't mesh. interview several if you have to, to find the right one! and congrats!

Yes to all that! Looks like you're in MN? If so, I've got recs for 2 amazing women if you're interested or the interview doesn't go well with the doula you're meeting. PM me if you'd like their info.

June24Bride · March 2011

I am a doula, and I can tell you that personality and connection are top 3. Someone could have amazing credentials etc and clash with your personality or comfort level. Soft spoken? Outgoing? Makes you laugh? Supports your goals? Doesnt do hospital births? Just something to think about. I've never met two doulas that are a like

I would hope that most doulas are open to every situation.

NebMom · March 2011

June24Bride:
I am a doula, and I can tell you that personality and connection are top 3. Someone could have amazing credentials etc and clash with your personality or comfort level. Soft spoken? Outgoing? Makes you laugh? Supports your goals? Doesnt do hospital births? Just something to think about. I've never met two doulas that are a like I would hope that most doulas are open to every situation.

Yes Yes Yes

Texas77again · March 2011

this question comes up here about once a week, at least. have you looked thru old posts to see some of the other ones? if not, i would recommend that. GL!

Temp34783000004059 · March 2011

I'm also a doula and echo the comments other doulas made.

I'd say before you interview, spend some time thinking about what you want from the birth and what you think you need from the doula. What is your personality? What is your partner's? What kids of support are you expecting (physical vs emotional, someone who is soft spoken vs someone who is more directive, etc)? Really try to get a feel for that person's personality and her philosophies on birth. If you're interested in a particular method like Bradley or Hypno, does she have experience? If she doesn't, is she willing and able to learn how to provide support for those? If you want a water birth, does she have experience with those?

Also ask any questions that are really important to you in terms of her contract. How much does she charge? When do you pay? What if she misses the birth? Does she work with backups and if you want to can you meet them in advance? What if you end up with an emergency c-section? What if you decide you want the epidural (believe it or not, some of the women I trained with said they would REFUSE a mom who was open to getting an epidural)?

Also, if your religion and/or culture is such that you have special requests or needs during or after the birth, let her know and see if you and she are both comfortable with how to handle those. And if you have spiritual or religious needs (such as wanting someone who is your faith), make sure she is in line with those.

Good luck!

Meeting potential doula next week

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