If you could go back and do it again....

MrsNiner · March 2011

... would you do anything differently about your labor/birth/hospital experience? I think about this a lot because I have a lot of regrets. First off is one thing I can't change... DS had passed meconium before birth. So instead of getting to hold him right after he was born, he was taken away to a NICU team to be checked out. I didn't get to hold him for about 10 minutes after he was born. Second, I would've taken breastfeeding in the hospital more seriously. We had zero skin-to-skin after birth and I only BF him for about 5 minutes until DH pressured me into letting the family come into the room to see him. Then throughout the stay, I was so sore and uncomfortable that I never wanted to feed him. I let the nurses give him formula instead. Now we are still struggling with BFing and I believe it's because of the bad choices I made in the hospital. Ugh, vent over.

Is there anything you'd do differently?

teshy1 · March 2011

The only thing I would change is asserting myself with the staff and asking for minimal interruptions, especially during the night. I was O.K. with nursing staff coming in to do essential things like check my vitals and baby's vitals, but having cleaning staff or kitchen staff barge in all the time really bothered me, especially when I was trying to rest or breastfeed.

Things I would do again include asking to have baby placed on my chest ASAP after the birth, and doing lots of skin-to-skin time.

NavyGMWife · March 2011

Not be induced. I believe it lead to the emergency c-section I had to have.

jolynn326 · March 2011

The biggest thing I wish I had done differently is relatively minor. I started laboring around midnight, and we left for the hospital at 6:30 AM. I barely drank any water that whole time and I definitely didn't eat anything. I was so dehydrated that the nurses had a hard time putting in my saline lock and it really hurt and kept me in bed longer than I wanted to be. I also was weaker than I think I otherwise would have been. Thankfully, she was born 4 hours after we got there (at 10:37 AM), and I was able to eat a yummy lunch at lunchtime.

On our second night in the hospital, I also got really overwhelmed by visitors. I wish I hadn't let myself get to that point.

The only other thing is that I had a lot of freedom to labor however I wanted to, but once I found a comfortable position, I didn't want to move. I kind of wish I had tried a few different things. But that's silly, since it worked!

Things I want to do again: skin-to-skin and immediate breastfeeding (we actually got a few extra hours of skin-to-skin because DD's body temp was a little low); natural if possible; rooming in; just DH and me in the labor/delivery room; having a few hours just to ourselves before visitors arrived...

vlagrl29 · March 2011

had a c section instead of being induced because my induction led to 3.5 hours of pushing which resulted in a c section anyways an i was so out of it, i was passing out during the operation and i don't remember parts of the night

JJsMom211 · March 2011

My son passed meconium before birth as well but I was able to have him placed on my chest right after birth for a total of about 10 seconds. He didn't need to be taken away for monitoring so as soon as they finished checking him out I was able to hold him.

I wouldn't really change anything. My L&D was not how I had planned which was to go natural. I was induced at my 39wk appointment because of pre-e and after 20 hours of difficult and complicated labor, and only dialating from 0-3, I gave in and had an epi. Although it was not my intention to have an epi., I do not regret it. Without it I would not have had the 2 hours of rest for my 3 hours of pushing. And in those 2 hours of having the epi, I dialated from 3-10! Because all of that was so unpredictable and beyond my control I do not consider them to be mistakes or the wrong choices.

One thing I would change is being more stern about my MIL NOT visiting me during labor and right after our son was born. I only wanted my mom and husband there but she insisted on just poking in and saying hi. At the time I didn't care because I was in so much pain, but thinking back on it it makes me angry that she did that knowing I did not want any visitors! DH did all he could to keep her out but the woman is relentless!

NavyGMWife · March 2011

vlagrl29:
had a c section instead of being induced because my induction led to 3.5 hours of pushing which resulted in a c section anyways an i was so out of it, i was passing out during the operation and i don't remember parts of the night

Same here which is why I posted like I did above. But my baby's heart rate started dropping at 3 hours of pushing so they wouldn't let me go any longer.

amanicen · March 2011

My labor & delivery were perfect, but immediately after was terrible. I was given a 'routine' catheter and pitocin shot against my will, even though I refused both. I was literally writhing on the bed screaming while my MW inserted the catheter, it was far more painful than any other part of my med-free birth and I'm holding a lot of anger over it. If there was any good reason for it to happen they wouldn't tell me, just said everyone had to get them. She did this while LO was being checked out by the baby nurses (since she'd passed some meconium), so I'm frustrated that the first few minutes after her birth were so awful.

sbuxsweetie · March 2011

I would have stayed home and labored overnight instead of rushing to the hospital after an hour of contractions. Granted, they were 5 minutes apart, but I ended up laboring for 21 hours, and the night I spent in triage was not exactly my idea of fun. Also, I wish I could have had a spinal instead of an epidural because I ended up with a c/s and felt way more than I should have. Sad

vflipo · March 2011

I wouldn't have caved and got an epidural. I went 18 hours without it, if I had known it was only going to be 10 more, I would have pushed through it. It might not have even been 10 hours if I didn't get the epi. Oh well, it was nice to take a nap. And, I still got to feel everything when I pushed since it wore off.

smallysmallz04 · March 2011

I would have delivered at a different hospital, don't get me wrong the hospital was okay but I couldn't video tape the birth. My FI wasn't allowed to stay overnight because they don't have private rooms, and I didn't find that out until I was about 30 weeks pregnant. I really wish my FI was able to stay at night because we missed that time as a family. I also would have had DS placed on my as soon as he was born. I try not to think about should have, could have, because it will start to annoy me and I want to remember the whole labor and birth as a beautiful time.

rosiemomma · March 2011

I would have had her at home. My birth was pretty great and the nurses were a pain. I only had one nice nurse. I kept telling them not to take her, but they said they had to for a hearing test, I fell asleep and when I awoke the had had her for three hours! I made my dh go get them and they held him off for 1/2 hour, telling him paperwork, blah blah.... I finally got her and she was starving, and then they wonder why she loses 10% of her birth weight. The hospital LC wasn't that great she told me to nurse for 30 minutes on one side, my daughter was jaundice and sleepy and for the first 2 weeks she wouldn't actively nurse for more than 2-5 minutes!!! She didn't offer any valid advice.Luckily I had a great peer bf councilor (and I didn't have many troubles) who told me to nurse often and when I realized she was so sleepy and not nursing much I took all the measures I could to keep her awake! Even my mother (who bf me and my sibs) told me it was OK to give a bottle the first day/night so you could rest, again thank goodness for my bf peer she told me Not to add any artificial nipples! especially since my daughter was so sleepy she needed to be spending every minute she could at my breast, but the hospital didn't encourage that!

daenikoffre · March 2011

I'm not sure I would have done anything differently, but I do wonder..

I ended up with a c-section because he was just too big, didn't even drop (and yes, I did acupressure, acupuncture, ate all that stuff, and bounced on the damn ball for a month solid). He was born 11.5 pounds, 24 inches inches long at almost 43 weeks. So.. sometimes I wonder if I should have been induced to avoid the c-section, even though I had a "Natural Birth" birth plan in mind..

missflor86 · March 2011

I'd complain about the night nurses trying to correct me all the time telling my husband and I not to hold the baby too much b/c he will get spoiled (he's an f-ing newborn) and to feed him formula...ugh still makes me mad.

itsme32985 · March 2011

Unfortunately the things that went wrong were out of my control. LO was in the NICU the whole duration of his stay at the hospital. I had my c-section and I saw DS for about 2 min after he was born and then didn't get to see him till about 11am the next morning. I guess I would try to take better care of myself, I let myself get dehydrated which sent me into contractions and early labor. I would probably not eat like a garbage can too. I have now learned that being pregnant does not give you a pass to eat everything you want.

rezelle · March 2011

Even though my mom was very helpful during the actual delivery, I wish I'd told her to stay home during the labor part. She was obviously uncomfortable and really short tempered the whole time, and she kept complaining about things my husband was doing/not doing. Actually, she complained about everything. She would've been much more comfortable at home.

I'm glad I was induced this time, but I'd like to avoid it in the future.

geminibrooke · March 2011

I would have tried to sleep once i got the epidural rather then stay up thinking something was going to happen. I didn't realize how long it took! When it came to push i was so tired from being up for 24 hours. Luckily i had just enough in me to push him out (with the help of the vacuum). He was sunny side up and had the cord wrapped around his neck which made it harder! But got him out right before they were going to take me for a C-section.

JCragg · March 2011

I wouldn't have trusted the drs or nurses....

I ended up with an e csection, because of blood pressure and fever that skyrocketed. I was induced because of blood pressure, I should have refused.

Consider yourselves lucky if you got to hold your baby, I didn't They kind of showed her to me and then wisked her and my hubby away and I don't remember anything else. EVERYONE got to hold and see her before me, it really pissed me off and still does.

The first nurse I got was the worst nurse ever, she told me I had to get an epi and i argued with her for a good couple of hours and then just gave in because she wouldn't let me sit up or move around. I should have demanded another nurse. She also stayed in the room at all times, none of my other nurses throughout the night/morning did. My mom was going to punch her and she's the civil one.

I'm glad my mom came to the hospital and stayed with us - I originally planned only DH and I. But my mom chatted with me while DH slept so it was nice.

danayandcory · March 2011

The only thing I would have done differently was eat.earlier in my laboring at home. By the time I thought about it, right before we left for the hospital, I was not really hungry, but could have really used the energy a few hours later when pushing. Otherwise the hospital part went exactly as I wanted! I guess the only other thing would be I would have called my dad the night before when I thought I might be having contractions so he could have mad it to the hospital sooner.

StellarStina26 · March 2011

I probably would have gotten the epidural sooner. I would have gone to the birth class so that my boyfriend and I would have been better prepared - then maybe I could have gone med-free. My boyfriend didn't end up being very helpful while I was laboring (he was amazing when I was pushing), he just stared at me when I was going through contractions. Ugh.

I also would have thrown a few of the nurses out. The ones that I didn't like and were overbearing. There was one that just pissed me off manhandling my boob to breastfeed as soon as possible, like 10 min after birth and I wanted to enjoy the skin-to-skin and staring at her while getting my stitches. They said I needed to in the first 30 min, which was fine, but I don't need some b!tch grabbing my boob and my baby forcing them to meet. I CAN DO IT MYSELF... I did take that class.

ARichards0422 · March 2011

even though i got induced at 41 weeks, i kinda wish I woulda put it off another week just to see if she wouldve come on her own.

kesrya · March 2011

I wouldn't change much b/c I feel pretty confident that if I had done things differently, I would have ended up with a c/s. I had a successful homebirth at 43 weeks with a perineal tear so small that it didn't even require stitches. A week later I felt almost 100% back to my old self again. The labor lasted 40 hours though, b/c I was so slow to progress -- it took me about 4 hours per cm to dilate (I started labor at 0cm, 50% effaced and baby at station +1; transition itself lasted over 4 hours). I'm pretty sure had I been at a hospital, they would have viewed this all as a problem and pushed for c/s. In fact, had I been with an OB they probably would have forced an induction at 41 or 42 weeks, and my cervix was so unfavorable at that point, I'm certain it would have failed and led to c/s. Instead, I had really support midwives who, even though *I* felt at times I couldn't do it, encouraged me all along the way.

The things I would change: The first 24 hours of labor I pretty much did everything I could to stay calm but that caused me to try to "avoid" pain. I wish I had gotten my butt up and just done the stairs two at time that they made me do for an hour at around hour 33 - it really helped ... I dilated 2 cm in that one hour - more than any other time during my labor. I should have been doing that from the beginning and I think everything would have been shorter.

I also would have purchased and used the enema listed on the "optional" list of things to have on hand during labor. I couldn't imagine myself every using such a thing, and it turned out that a lot of my "back" pain wasn't back pain at all but was impacted bowels. My mother went to the 24 hour CVS at 3am and got me one and it immediately reduced about 80% of the contraction pains and allowed me to move around more which in turn helped things to progress faster.

One thing I regret is that when the baby was crowning the midwives tried to grab my hand and guide me down so I could touch his head. I screamed "no I don't want to" because I felt like if I let go of my legs and lost the positioning I was in I would lose all the effectiveness of the pushing I had been doing. In other words, I thought I wouldn't be able to get myself back into that position, and it was working so I didn't want to lose it. I feel bad about the way I phrased it, though. I was kind of hysterical at that point, and what I meant to say was "I don't think I can", but I feel like it came out poorly like I really didn't want to feel my baby, and in fact, I did.

sweetpea18 · March 2011

I wish I would have gotten the epi sooner. Contractions weren't awful when I asked for it, but my water broke when I sat up to get it. While getting the epi, I went from 5 cm to 10. Not fun, when a dr is trying to put a catheter in your back! I was ugly to my nurse, who was very sweet. Poor baby had passed meconium and things got crazy. I wish it had been less chaotic. (my first delivery was chaotic, too, because dd1 was early)

Mrs.Carlybella · March 2011

considering we didn't make it into the hospital before she was born I def. would have changed some things. I didn't even know she was a girl for 20 minutes after her birth. I had an amazing, surreal, unbelievable birth- and while it is an entertaining tale and we are both healthy, I would prefer a normal delivery attended by some sort of medical personnel

littlefamilyof4 · March 2011

Honestly the only thing i would change if i could would have been to held off on the epi. I got i got put in at midnight and had L at 2:42 am. But oh well, next time. Other than that everything else went perfectly. I had a great delivery. The nurse during my delivery was amazing. I credit my being able to breast feed to her, right after LO was born she put her to my chest and said to nurse her, i did and she latched on perfectly. My other nurses were great as well. Never took her away from. Did everything they needed to in the room with me. This experience was MUCH better than when i had my son. Dr was great but hospital was horrible. This time i went with a different hospital and loved this experience so much better.

Lucky_Dragonfly · March 2011

I can't really say that I would do anything differently because I called MH after my 3rd contraction to come home and with that we barely made it to the hospital. Yes I would have liked and epi, but everything happened so fast that it would not have taken effect before she got here.

Fergie+1 · March 2011

I would've punched the nurse who kept saying "You're doing so great; I don't think you need the epidural," (FOUR TIMES) and also placed the IV where I didn't want it- was the most painful part of L&D, seriously.

dNoodle · March 2011

I wish I would have known I was going to have a c-section so that I could refuse the narcotics I had. I was in and out of consciousness, and I hardly remember anything.

I'm having a really hard time coming to terms with that.

Hyfagal · March 2011

I would go straight for the c-section.

I developed pre-e and needed to deliver at 39 weeks. We didn't think an induction would work since I broke my pelvis 8 months before I got pregnant. It had been the plan to go straight to c-section since we saw a specialist about my pelvis. Last minute my OB said she thought we should try an induction but call it quits if she didn't descend.

After 27 hours of pitocin and some meconium later I was being wheeled to the OR for the c-section. By that point I was exhausted, scared for my baby, and just couldn't calm myself so they had to sedate me and I don't remember much about the birth of my baby.

I think things would have been alot less traumatic if we had gone straight for a planned c-section.

allyca · March 2011

The entire damn thing. I ended up being induced due to pre-e but I question how every went down. Halfway through my induction my BP was going down so now I even wonder if I needed to be induced.

In general, my delivery was pretty damaging to me and I am still trying to work through it. My 6lb 4 oz DS got stuck resulting in an emergency c-section under general anesthesia. No one but the medical staff saw my son being born. I wasn't able to see him for the first 3 hours of his life and he was sent to the NICU.

Nyki06Wed43530 · March 2011

I planned a home birth and had 24 hours of back labor until we decided to transfer to a hospital. The baby was back to back with me and I was stalled at a 7 with no sign of progress for about 6 hours and was super dehydrated from projectile vomiting the entire time. The hospital we transfered to was fantastic but it would have been really great if my original plan had gone well. I wish that I would have put a greater effort in before labor started to try to get her to turn around. I was lazy about it and paid the consequences for that. Secondly I would have avoided the catheter if at all possible since I still have pain 3+ weeks later from it.

HugginAngel · March 2011

I would have changed the fact that my Dr's ignored my 3-4min apart contractions for 2 weeks and the fact that I wasn't progressing at all in those 2 weeks. Thank GOD my son didn't choke himself with his cord (which was wrapped twice)

Also I wouldn't have given into the pressure to formula feed in the hospital. The nurses made me feel like I wasn't feeding my child enough but apparently he was doing jsut fine BF'ing until the LC lady came in twice and suffocated him in my boob (after he was done eating) because he wouldn't latch on the other side, ummm lady I just told you he fed for like 10min (which was fine last night when you came in) which seemed to freak him out about BF'ing. The nurses had me freaked out that he was going to get jaundice (they even ordered a second bili test) he was fine his numbers were great both times but they had me so freaked out that I bottle fed because they told me I wouldn't get to see him for a whole day if he didn't get more to eat to get the stuff out of his system. That messed up BF'ing for me. Thankfully I was able to get back on to BF'ing after alot of stress for me and LO but my supply has suuuuuuuucked and I think it's because of them pushing the bottle and my body getting a late start in actually producing.

JenniferMatos · March 2011

I've had many moments of crying on DH shoulder over my experience. Being my first I had nothing to compare too but I'm pretty sure it was a little more traumatic then it should have been.

If I could do it all over again I would have refused the magnesium to treat my suspected Pre-e. The stuff is nasty! I think the Dr on call when I went in to L&D jumped the gun a little on treating me with that stuff. Just 12 hours before my BP and urine was fine. They induced me, which I was fine with pitocin but also had me on Mag, 20 hours laters I was finally able to start pushing however I was such a noodle from the Mag that my poor DH had to hold me up since I didn't have the muscle control to do it myself. I literally could barely talk, couldn't hold my legs, and the pushing was a nightmare because I was having a hard time getting my muscles to do what I wanted. 3 1/2 hours of pushing later my DS was born (massive conehead) and because of the Mag he was a noodle too which mean't they wanted to take him to NICU which mean't he didn't get placed onto my belly, I didn't get to BF right away (which started a whole mess of issues), and when I did get to hold him I had to be propped up with a pillow because I could barely control my muscles. The Mag also caused me not to clot which led to my emergency surgery due to uncontrolable bleeding. I lost so much blood I lost what little milk supply I had. DS was only 5lbs so they forced him to have formula after I told them I didn't want him to because I wanted to BF. However since I was in surgery I wasn't there to feed him...I was put on bed rest for 24 hours after surgery which meant I could not have DS in the room with me if I was alone. The DR who delivered flat out told me if they had not started me on Mag and just induced all that wouldn't have happened. Oh and they left a sponge in me after surgery and luckily found it when they were removing my packing :-/ I left the hospital so anemic that at 8 weeks pp my tear is still healing. Needless to say I am second guessing my want for 2 children...we might just adopt.

pixieprincss · March 2011

Sucked it up and paid the $4k OOP to have care from a midwife and then a homebirth. The "medical model" didn't take my pelvic separation seriously which led to a transverse baby which further pushed my pelvis apart. We did a version to flip him, but he ended up OP (face up) which led to a 63 hour labor that inflamed the SI joint in my lower back. At 55 hours in I got an epidural to have the strength to deliver vaginally and that led to coached/intense pushing which led to severe tearing.

I have been in pretty much constant pain/discomfort since 24 weeks pregnant when my pelvis seperated and the pain intensified after labor with the back injury. My pelvis is not coming back in alignment and so one of my legs is presenting shorter than the other. The chiro and PT bills to fix me will probably reach $1k this year. It is possible that I may have life-long issues, need to wear a lift in a shoe, get shots in my pelvis and back, etc. I just keep thinking that a more holistic, hands-on approach during my PG could've really helped all of this and the only reason we didn't do it was the cost.

LO is so, so worth it. But, it is definitely tough to face these physical issues.

theprincessPAT · March 2011

I would have had a full term, healthy baby instead of a 32 weeker.

There isn't anything I could have changed. I had severe pre-e. My bp was 189/130 when I got to the hospital. They had a hard time keeping it below 160/110 even with the mag sulfate.

For those of you who complain because you didn't get to see your LO for 10 minutes or so after delivery... I didn't get to see my LO for 36 HOURS. Even then they were hesitant to let me see her because of my blood pressure. Also I wasn't allowed to hold her for a week. We have video of the first time I got to hold her. I cried and cried.

starlily313 · March 2011

1. I would have liked to have a full term baby rather than a 35-weeker, but that wasn't anything in my control. I had no indications of PTL at all until the day of.

2. I would have had something to eat before we went to the hospital. We headed in at 7am & I hadn't had anything since dinner the previous night. I didn't because I was so freaked about going into labor early. I ended up laboring for 34 hours; it would have been easier if I had some source of energy other than a sugar-free popsicle that the nurse smuggled to me.

Things were not ideal in our situation: my OB was on vacation, having a preemie, baby whisked away to NICU so no chance for immediate holding, problems breastfeeding, getting discharged before baby was. However, I'm still completely satisfied with the care I received at my hospital and my birth experience. I didn't really have a birth plan other than "go to hospital, have a healthy baby." There were some hurdles along the way, but ultimately that's exactly what happened.

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