Working Moms

Poll: How much quality time per day?

Just saw an article on Yahoo Shine that a study says working moms spend an hour and a half per day with their children (pretty short article didn't explain what was counted).  Made me think about how much Quality time I get with my DD- this does not include driving in the car or plopping her down in the jumperoo while I start dinner/wash bottles/go through the mail etc.  I would say I get about 2hrs of quality time with her, plus another half hour of sleepy morning cuddle time with I BF before work.

How much Quality time do you spend with your children per day?

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Re: Poll: How much quality time per day?

  • I read another article that said you only need to spend about 20 quality minutes with your kids a day. I bet SAH moms don't get 12 quality hours with their kids either with all the stuff they are expected to do. Don't sweat it too much.

    If you tally up reading books before bed and some play time before dinner, the quality time is about an hour on weekdays, more on weekends. And I squeeze in quality 5 minutes of time when I can, like in the line for groceries or have her help me make dinner. Plus I like to think the nutritious meals I make while she's asleep count, as well as the money I earn to take her on fun vacations, pay for her good school and her top-notch health insurance have to count for something too.

    She knows I love her and that's what really matters.

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  • I'm with her from 3-7:30, but during that time I do some cleaning, cooking, ect.
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  • If we come straight home, we get there about 5pm, he has his bath at 7pm.  I'm usually reheating food for dinner, so most of my time is with him, playing, singing, reading, etc.  I'd say anywhere between 2-3 hours M-F.
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  • about an hour a day - 45 min - hour at night; 15-30ish minutes in the morning. 

    I think she's getting alot of quality time at school with her teachers and friends and while I'm not literally THERE with her, my income is providing that experience for her.

    I don't really think most of this accounting/tallying is very helpful.  Its just another way to compete w/ other parents.

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  • Probably 2-3 hours a day.
  • imageKathrynMD:

    about an hour a day - 45 min - hour at night; 15-30ish minutes in the morning. 

    I think she's getting alot of quality time at school with her teachers and friends and while I'm not literally THERE with her, my income is providing that experience for her.

    I don't really think most of this accounting/tallying is very helpful.  Its just another way to compete w/ other parents.

    I'm sorry I wasn't trying to compete or make anyone feel bad.  I was just generally curious how other moms feel.  I have a really long commute added to the time I do have with my LO.

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  • I'm home at 5:00 and bedtime is 8:00, if you don't included making dinner I'd say about 2-2.5 hours.  If they help with dinner then it's "quality time" the full three hours during the week.  On the weekend we are on 24/7 :)
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  • imagejf198400:
    imageKathrynMD:

    about an hour a day - 45 min - hour at night; 15-30ish minutes in the morning. 

    I think she's getting alot of quality time at school with her teachers and friends and while I'm not literally THERE with her, my income is providing that experience for her.

    I don't really think most of this accounting/tallying is very helpful.  Its just another way to compete w/ other parents.

    I'm sorry I wasn't trying to compete or make anyone feel bad.  I was just generally curious how other moms feel.  I have a really long commute added to the time I do have with my LO.

    I know - but just do the best you can!  Some people get no time a day - or just minutes.  There were days when DD was really young that I felt like I got 10 minutes.  but, what can you do?  Your LO needs to sleep - that's a 100x more important than you reading a book to them to alleviate your own guilt about being away, etc. 

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  • I actually find some comfort in this post.  Let me say I love being a working mom, but I spend an average of about 1-2 hours a day with my son and sometimes I feel guilty about it.  It's kind of nice to see this is what the average working parent spends with their child.
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  • How is quality time defined?  I think some people define it too closely (one on one interaction).  I don't think it is so minuet.  If we are at home, I am always available for my children.  If they need me at school/daycare, I will come running (as applicable).  I may not be able to do what they ask, when they ask but I make sure their needs are being met.  Bath time can be quality time, watching a movie together and cuddling can be quality time, helping with home work, settling a game, talking about interactive play, reading, it happens sometimes in passing-in a blink, sometimes in long stretches, sometimes with all three of my children at the same time, sometimes with only two (two boys taking a bath) but rarely one-on-one. I can interact with them while I cook.   My kids may not get a lot of one-on-one interaction with me but they know they are loved unconditionally, they know who their mother is and they know I am their biggest advocate.   They come to me when they are sad, mad, lonely, happy, excited, etc.  They have siblings to help occupy their time with play.   Kids need to  have their own time to explore, to learn to get along with others, to unwind after school/daycare, to be kids...

    So, instead I will answer that I am available for my children 24-7, I am with my children 6-8am and 4-8pm, but all of my time is devoted to help them achieve the things they need/want and help them become the person they are going to be. 


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  • FWIW, I think this gets easier as your kids get older.  My kids sit at the island with me while I prep dinner and help me and/or do their homework.  That's certainly helped squeeze in some QT that wasn't there when they were smaller.  Also, keep in mind that QT includes cuddling, bathing, feeding your DC.  I try not to waste a minute of that.  Even when my kids were little, bath time meant fun time for all of us, not just washing up.  I even think time in the car can be QT, especially as they get older and you can sing and talk together.  You wouldn't say driving to the zoo for the afternoon wasn't part of QT, would you?  So, why should the drive to daycare be considered wasted time too?
    DS1 age 7, DD age 5 and DS2 born 4/3/12
  • I go pick her up from school at 5pm and she has bedtime at 830pm. I do count car time as quality time since we talk about her day and go over what she did at school, with her friends, what she ate, etc. Yes I may vaccuum when we get home or make dinner but she's old enough (3) that she likes to help with all of that. Yes there are some nights where she wants to play in her room alone and then there are nights when we read for an hour. Infants are different then toddlers and toddlers different then school aged children that will maybe go play at a friends 2 nights a week and you won't see them but for maybe 10 min.
  • For us, it is totally different. Both DH and I are lucky that we have super flexible jobs, and so M-Tu-Th we have about 4-5 hours (1 hr in AM and then 3-4 hrs in the evening before bedtime), but Wednesday I work from home so I have her until 9:30am and then pick her up by 3:30pm (our sitter is down the street), so alot more time in the day. Friday DH is home with her all day. I know that we are so blessed to have so much time for her and have such great jobs and full time salaries, but I also agree with the other posters that my DD gets lots of quality time, even without us. Her babysitter loves her like her own child and so DD is always around people who love and care for her well.

    Will baby #3 be another girl?


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  • imageshopgirl78:

    How is quality time defined?  I think some people define it too closely (one on one interaction).  I don't think it is so minuet.  If we are at home, I am always available for my children.  If they need me at school/daycare, I will come running (as applicable).  I may not be able to do what they ask, when they ask but I make sure their needs are being met.  Bath time can be quality time, watching a movie together and cuddling can be quality time, helping with home work, settling a game, talking about interactive play, reading, it happens sometimes in passing-in a blink, sometimes in long stretches, sometimes with all three of my children at the same time, sometimes with only two (two boys taking a bath) but rarely one-on-one. I can interact with them while I cook.   My kids may not get a lot of one-on-one interaction with me but they know they are loved unconditionally, they know who their mother is and they know I am their biggest advocate.   They come to me when they know they are sad, mad, lonely, happy, excited, etc.  They have siblings to help occupy their time with play.   Kids need to  have their own time to explore, to learn to get along with others, to unwind after school/daycare, to be kids...

    So, instead I will answer that I am available for my children 24-7, I am with my children 6-8am and 4-8pm, but all of my time is devoted to help them achieve the things they need/want and help them become the person they are going to be. 

    TOTALLY agree with this. Very well said, shopgirl!

    Will baby #3 be another girl?


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  • I haven't read all the responses but I wanted to ask why driving time couldn't be quality time? I sing and talk to DS on our drive home from daycare. Always have. Why doesn't that count?

    And I am starting to hate these "How much time ::insert guilt inducing question here:?" posts. Instead of counting the minutes, why not just enjoy them?

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  • Is your child nurtured, confident, attached, happy and healthy? If so, then it is all good.

     This kind of question only serves to make women feel badly.

     

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  • I read that article on another site and it said they were counting time that parents spent DIRECTLY caring for their children which only included feeding them, cleaning them, clothing them and directly playing child led games and activities. It did not count any time you spend making dinner, doing laundry, watching tv together, sleeping, or any time you are distracted from them. I think it would've been a better article if they would have tallied up SAHM time as a comparison. I bet SAHMs get more time, but I can't imagine they spend hours on end in child directed play compared to WMs. I spend about 2 hours a day with direct caring contact during the 4 days a week I work. I would bet on the days I am home it's maybe 4 hours of DIRECT caring and child led play. The rest of the time we are together but we are running errands, cleaning, he is playing while I do bills etc. which I would bet is what most SAHMs are doing too. This type of article gives a totally one-sided view of the SAHM/WM debate. It's silly.
  • About 4 hours... just 30 minutes in the morning (I let him sleep as late as possible--6:30--before we leave for daycare and work) and a good 3.5 hours in the afternoon/early evening.
  • About 3 hours. I usually get off work around 4:30ish and I'm home by 5, the latest. We do homework time, dinner, family time, and then bed time is at 8. It is hard to find a lot of quality time but that's what weekends are for. It doesn't mean I love them any less because I don't get to spend hours upon hours with them; it means that we're all busy in this life but we still find ways to spend time together and we find different ways to show our love.
    Sophie Elisabeth 07.23.02 and Charlotte Abigail 12.08.04 Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker ~However motherhood comes to you, it's a miracle. ~
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