Told my boss about IF Treatment (eeeek) - LONG

Toni79 · March 2011

Yesterday I solisted you gals to see how many of you told your bosses about IUIs and IVFs. The general concensious was most of you told your bosses.

Today was the day! I have two male bosses and have good working relationships with them both, For my 3 IUIs I kept quiet, but since IVFs will require more time off I decided to tell them. I was vague and didn't say "IVF", I just said fertility treatments.

I'm think I'm glad I told them, but at the time it was horrible!!! I think they were surprised that I wanted to talk with both of them together. Their first words when I asked if they had a few minutes to talk were "Are you leaving???" Which is sort of a running joke, since anytime I need to talk with the one, he gets parinoid and asks if I'm leaving.

As soon as I sat down and started to talk, my voice was crazy shakey. I've never heard my voice sound like that before!?!?! The more I noticed it the more shaky my voice got! It was horrible. I honestly don't remember looking at either of them while I talked. I honestly thought I'd be able to hide my emotions a little better.

This was what I said (with a few ackward comments and chuckles):

I wanted to talk with you both together becasue this is hard for me to talk about and I didn't want to have to talk about it twice. I know technically I don't have to tell my bosses the medical reasons I take time off. But in this situation I feel like it will releave some of my stress. My DH and I have been TTC for 2 years with no luck. We've been going to a fertility specialist the last several months. I've had some minor tests and procedures done and at the time just called out the days I needed to. Usually one day a month. We are moving to a more invasive procedure, and will require me to take more time off. So there may be some days where I have to come in late or leave early. Also I'll be having 2 sergeries at the end of April. I won't know the exact dates until 1-2 days before since its dependent upon the results of the other tests. And I may be off 1-2 days after each. Also, these procedures may go on for several months. I wanted to let you know becasue since I'll be taking more time off, I didn;t want it to appear as if I'm slacking in my work. But I also want to let you know, that it might not happen at all. So I don't want you to not give me work because you think I'll be taking time off soon.

This is what they said

They were very understnading. They did acknoledge that I didn't have to tell them, but apprechiated that I did tell them. They told me that they can't imagine me slacking or think that I'm slacking, but they understood how I could think that. They said I have plenty of leave (which I do), and I can use it how I see fit. One acknoledged that he knew a time would come when I'd start a family. (In his head I think a lightbulb came on as to why I hadn't yet). And of course good luck!

After I finshed talking with them, I had to go get teary eyed in the bathroom.

So glad that is OVER! It was such a horrible feeling talking about it with them. There are very few people that know and that I talk about it to. I really think I took them by surprise. I think they thought I was going to tell them I was preggers! Oh how I wish!

kzawisl · March 2011

Sounds like it went well! I told my difficult boss last week, and she took it well, so telling my easy going boss should be a breeze. baby dust!

apaige25 · March 2011

I'm so glad you were able to tell them. I felt a big stress relif when I told my boss. But his response was: "you're going to end up with triplets." He said it in a joking manner. I told him not to jinx me Smile

. Btw, my boss is a very shy gay.

BeeBee08 · March 2011

Good for you! It's surprising and reassuring when you get a response like that, and a huge stress lifted off you. GL!!

softbalangel · March 2011

Sounds like it went well. Good luck on your IVF!

CluckyEV · March 2011

So happy for you! When the time comes I hope I am able to be as brave as you were. Congrats and GL with your first IVF!

Mrkyrain · March 2011

I'm glad it went well for you. I too told my male boss when I was going through IUI because I am a teacher and my schedule is not at all flexible. He was very nice and understanding. Now I am starting IVF and my boss will change in September. Hopefully the next boss will also be understanding. I always feel like it's better for people to have more information rather than less. Good luck to you.

NMscubagirl · March 2011

Good for you for having the nerve to tell them! I hated telling my boss, but I did feel better after she knew. Good luck girl!

1krazykitty · March 2011

That's awesome that you were able to tell! I know how hard it was for me, great job!

pennylanehd · March 2011

CluckyEV:
So happy for you! When the time comes I hope I am able to be as brave as you were. Congrats and GL with your first IVF!

This exactly...congrats nad good luck!

khanley1980 · March 2011

If it makes you feel better I cried when I told my boss (I shared my miscarriage too which is what caused me to cry). I had no idea that I would get a shaky voice and cry either! But my boss was great and it sounds like yours was too! Congrats!

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