Pissed off

pharmacygirl · March 2011

We get all the way to md office and Dh backs out office his sa! I'm beyond livid. He says it's too unatural. I'm so pissed right now. It's the least he could do for me. Im trying to hold it's together. But basically if he rd refuses to do this my hopes are shot for any future fertility interventions.

kellyjg123 · March 2011

What about having him make a sample at home? My DH was uncomfortable with the idea of 'producing' at the doctor's office initially; he was forced to later when we had IUIs and IVF but by then the doctor told him it was important he provide a super fresh sample for the procedures.

He did do his SA at home though. Maybe your DH would be open to that (at least it could open the door). I'm so sorry.

Stacy092306 · March 2011

I was going to ask the same question as Kelly. Maybe he would do a sample at home? That way you could get the initial testing done to see how everything looks. My DH also did that the first few times, and it didn't make him nearly as nervous as doing one in the doctor's office. By the time we got to IVF, he was totally fine with going into the office.

DSU98 · March 2011

My DH did not want to go in and do it either. We were allowed to collect the sample at home and then when I had the sample I would bundle it up (winter time) and take the little swimmers in for him. Embarrassed

Is that an option for you?

DSU98 · March 2011

I saw someone posted about IUI's . I was still able to collect the sample that morning at home, then I would go and drop it off for it to be cleaned and washed and then I would go back in a few hours for my IUI. So he did not even have to go in for that... he was still able to do it at home, I just had to have it in to the Dr. within 30 min. I think of when we collected it.

choirgirl · March 2011

First, I'm so sorry, that's so stressful for you!

Second, though, have you seen the rooms where they have to do it? I mean, even in our RE's state of the art facility, the rooms were not conducive to both ergonomics and practicality. So I do feel for him.

In our case, we couldn't do it at home, because they need the sample within 30 minutes, and we'd be lucky to hit that for either of our RE's locations, we're right smack in the middle.

So what we did for his last SA and our IUI is [Warning: TMI alert: I go in with him, and while he does it mostly on his own, I'm, you know, available for say a boobie rub or extra hands on..., plus I hold the specimen jar for him until the last minute, aim can be tough.]

Anyway. I wish you guys the best. DH was miserable the first time when he went alone 3 years ago.

AmandaMacD · March 2011

I am sorry sweetie. I would be so beyond mad too! I agree with Kelly about possiby producing a sample at home.

I personally don't see the big deal about a man spanking it in a DR office. The 1st time DH had to produce a sample and deliver it to the lab, he got stuck in traffic and was so stressed about getting it there on time. When he finally did get there, he ran into a friend of ours. He wanted to die. Lesson learned.

Also, if my hubby complained for 1 second about needing to produce a sample by achieving an orgasm, I would give him a real reason to get checked out. After all we have been through, carrying our LOs and giving birth to them and now what we are doing to get pregnant with the next LO....I have zero sympanthy for men and SA.

AmandaMacD · March 2011

I just want to add that I in no way meant to offend you or insult you. I am just so upset for you and by no means did I mean to try to get you fired up. I would give anything to be able to "get off" as opposed to my morning photo sessions with the dildo cam. I am so sorry if I offended you in any way Right Hug

JMay · March 2011

UGH! How frustrating!!! My DH almost did that to me - called me freaking out - I had to run interference between the REs nurse and the lab techs. When he described the experience, I felt so badly - it sounded horried. I agree with PP - is there any way he can collect at home, maybe with your, ahem, loving help? In spite of all we go through, I think as women, we sort of expect some loss of dignity at the hands of medical staff, whereas men seem to view it very differently.

Big (HUGS) and GL!

Edit after reading other reponses (TMI): I'd take the dildo cam any day over the idea of having to reach orgasm in the docs office. Ain't.gonna.happen.

pharmacygirl · March 2011

Omgosh Amanda no offense taken. I agree with you. I feel like all they have to do is what they have done all their lives. I'm still barely talking to DH. it'll take me a day or two. But we're defiantly are going to have to talk about it. I'm going to call the md office tomorrow to ask about doing it at home.

Pissed off

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