Hope you don't mind but I wanted to suggest a book that addresses your question of why God lets bad things happen.
I went through a crisis of faith not nearly as difficult as yours but I did have questions and ended up reading "The Purpose of Pain" by C.S. Lewis. He does as good a job addressing this issue as anyone I've read. He wrote it during/after his wife died of cancer. I found it helpful it making sense of things.
I'm by no means pusing it on you but thought you might be interested.
I wish you and your DS the very best!
Re: *Mrs. Rose* regarding the God thread
Yes, sorry about that.
you know, i haven't read the problem of pain, but from what little i know of it, i don't think it does a good job of explaining what happens to sick or dying children. i cannot ascribe a "rebel soul" to a premature infant who must have holes drilled in his head. i can't.
also, he wrote the problem of pain 20 years before his wife's death. he wrote "a grief observed" after.
https://catholiceducation.org/articles/apologetics/ap0032.html
Oops, for some reason I really thought it was after.
It's not perfect by any means but for me it made a lot of sense because it's more involved then just simply the "rebel soul".
To be honest I don't think there is a perfect explaination for why bad things happen, I think ultimately it comes down to faith that God has a reason for what happens even if we don't understand it. For me this book did as good a job as any giving some explaination to it.
Might have to read that next. We will see how much I like this one. I think I am ultimately searching for someone to convince me that God exists, but I don't really think that will happen.