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How to explain the loss of a pet?

mavs_girl07mavs_girl07 member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
It's not one of our dogs, thank goodness!  But my mom's dog suddenly passed away yesterday, and DD loved loved loved this dog.  I think she liked him even more than our own dogs!  We see them usually once or twice a month, and whenever we tell DD we'll be seeing them she gets all excited about seeing Rocky.  So the next time they come here or we go to visit them, what do we say to DD?  I know she'll ask about him and wonder where he is.  My mom said we could just tell her that he ran away, but I don't think that's a good idea.  What do we tell her?
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Re: How to explain the loss of a pet?

  • AZ123AZ123 member

    Don't tell her the dog ran away because then she'll be scared that her dogs will run away and she'll never see them again or she'll be thinking about Rocky alone at night on the streets or something.

    You should use the farm story. Rocky wanted to go live on a farm with cows and sheep and so Rocky's gone to this pretty farm with green pastures to live. That sort of thing.

    You could do the whole Rocky died and went to heaven but at that age, it can stir up a lot of uncertainty and cause her more angst than need be.

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  • jenuinejenuine
    I wouldn't lie to them. I would tell the truth and explain that death is when your body gets worn out and stops working, like when your toys run out of batteries. Tell her it's normal to be sad and miss the dog, just like you and grandma will. That is just the quick things that came to my head. You could call the vet and see what they suggest since they deal with it all the time, or post on the pets board. But please don't lie to your kid. It will create more problems in the long run. I am sorry for your loss.
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  • jlw2505jlw2505 member
    I would never lie and tell her that the dog ran away.  Its not fair to your child.  OUr dog recently had to be put down.  We told the kids a few nights before that he was very sick and in a lot of pain and also really old.  We explained that he needed to go to Heaven where he could be pain free and that he would be able to play with all the other dogs.  We told them that he was always going to be in our hearts, that he would always love us and that we would never forgot him.  We have pictures of him up still and we made a photo book of the girls and the dog which they love looking at.  My older DD totally got it and was so sad but she gets it.  My 3 year old often asks about our dog, where he is, when can he come back and stuff like that.  We just keep reminding her that he is in heaven and he is watching over us and we talk about the happy times we had with him.  SO sorry for the loss.
    Jenni Mom to DD#1 - 6-16-06 DD#2 - 3-13-08 
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  • CytinaCytina
    I definitely disagree with lying about where the dog went (i.e. ran away, went to a farm).  You know your child best and what she will process, but I typically think a simple, honest truth is best.  When our cat passed about 6 months ago, I simply told S that Stewie got very sick and went bye-bye to heaven and we wouldn't see him anymore but we'd always love him and miss him.  S asked about Stewie for a few days and each time I gave him a similar response... he eventually stopped asking.  A couple of months ago, something was said about Stewie and S said he went "bye-bye."  S had just turned 2 when Stewie was PTS.
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