Sex Story (not informational, just funny)

shelovesfrodo · March 2011

This past Sunday, DH & I had the most horrific/hilarious episode of aborted sex, courtesy of my pregnant brain. My 13 year old brother has a musket loading class after church (hey, it's Montana!), so Mom asked if they could come by our apartment to change out of their Sunday clothes. I said yes, of course, and I would be sure to inform DH. I must have popped extra stupid pills, 'cause I completely forgot to tell him about it. Sunday afternoons for us are lazy and laidback (it's become such a favorite for sex that we've had to come up with a completely different "1-10 orgasm chart" for it)

So everything was going fantastic, and both of us are just about to orgasm, when we hear a knock at the front door. Did I mention our house is like 800 sq ft and the bedroom door was open? DH (bless his heart), jumps out from under me to close the door, just as my mother & her best friend walk in. We both scrambled underneath the covers and were feigning a blissful nap (with clothes strewn everywhere) while listening to their voices as they changed in the bathroom. I could hardly suppress my nervous giggling, and poor DH was dying at the thought of his MIL walking in what had been going on.

There is a happy ending, though. After profuse apologies on my part, and some food and rest, we went on to have fantastic sex a couple hours later. DH was happy, and I felt a little better about my memory lapse.

zenma · March 2011

shelovesfrodo:
This past Sunday, DH & I had the most horrific/hilarious episode of aborted sex, courtesy of my pregnant brain. My 13 year old brother has a musket loading class after church (hey, it's Montana!), so Mom asked if they could come by our apartment to change out of their Sunday clothes. I said yes, of course, and I would be sure to inform DH. I must have popped extra stupid pills, 'cause I completely forgot to tell him about it. Sunday afternoons for us are lazy and laidback (it's become such a favorite for sex that we've had to come up with a completely different "1-10 orgasm chart" for it)
So everything was going fantastic, and both of us are just about to orgasm, when we hear a knock at the front door. Did I mention our house is like 800 sq ft and the bedroom door was open? DH (bless his heart), jumps out from under me to close the door, just as my mother & her best friend walk in. We both scrambled underneath the covers and were feigning a blissful nap (with clothes strewn everywhere) while listening to their voices as they changed in the bathroom. I could hardly suppress my nervous giggling, and poor DH was dying at the thought of his MIL walking in what had been going on.
There is a happy ending, though. After profuse apologies on my part, and some food and rest, we went on to have fantastic sex a couple hours later. DH was happy, and I felt a little better about my memory lapse.

Hahah, I feel like this should be in Cosmo's sex blunders.

SarahPLiz · March 2011

I think its time to stop giving out keys to your house. On the real.

desmerelda317 · March 2011

SarahPLiz:
I think its time to stop giving out keys to your house. On the real.

LOL! This. And I'm sorry, I have to admit that I thought the funniest part of the story was the musket loading class.

sunandsurfmama · March 2011

SurfBabe900:
shelovesfrodo:
This past Sunday, DH & I had the most horrific/hilarious episode of aborted sex, courtesy of my pregnant brain. My 13 year old brother has a musket loading class after church (hey, it's Montana!), so Mom asked if they could come by our apartment to change out of their Sunday clothes. I said yes, of course, and I would be sure to inform DH. I must have popped extra stupid pills, 'cause I completely forgot to tell him about it. Sunday afternoons for us are lazy and laidback (it's become such a favorite for sex that we've had to come up with a completely different "1-10 orgasm chart" for it)
So everything was going fantastic, and both of us are just about to orgasm, when we hear a knock at the front door. Did I mention our house is like 800 sq ft and the bedroom door was open? DH (bless his heart), jumps out from under me to close the door, just as my mother & her best friend walk in. We both scrambled underneath the covers and were feigning a blissful nap (with clothes strewn everywhere) while listening to their voices as they changed in the bathroom. I could hardly suppress my nervous giggling, and poor DH was dying at the thought of his MIL walking in what had been going on.
There is a happy ending, though. After profuse apologies on my part, and some food and rest, we went on to have fantastic sex a couple hours later. DH was happy, and I felt a little better about my memory lapse.
Hahah, I feel like this should be in Cosmo's sex blunders.

Agreed!

MissMommyMac · March 2011

desmerelda317:
SarahPLiz:
I think its time to stop giving out keys to your house. On the real.

LOL! This. And I'm sorry, I have to admit that I thought the funniest part of the story was the musket loading class.

This! Haha.

emmyloustu · March 2011

I find this whole post a bit bizarre. It just doesn't ring true...

shelovesfrodo · March 2011

SarahPLiz:
I think its time to stop giving out keys to your house. On the real.

No one besides us & the landlord actually has the keys, but we live in this quaint little cul-de-sac way outside of town, so we often forgo even locking the doors. Another dumb mistake. We joke now about the landlord's son coming to the door with extra lightbulbs or something, while we're in the middle of our business.

cwyland · March 2011

Hah. I don't feel so bad about what happened to us last night now. After we had finished, the LO started kicking and moving like mad. First time he's done it while we were... ya know.. still in position. I giggled to myself but then my husband gets wide eyed and asks "Was that the BABY I just felt?" I was getting kicked around my cervix and he was feeling everything. He freaked and I started laughing so hard I couldn't get off of him. The whole thing lasted for about two minutes and he probably felt a half a dozen kicks. He kept freaking out that his unborn child had kicked him in the crotch for about a half hour until he calmed down and went to sleep.

shelovesfrodo · March 2011

Ha! That's a good one! I'm sure DH would be relieved to hear your story. I know all the medical information, like "the baby doesn't know/can't see what's going on," etc, but it still must be a bit unsettling. I think my husband's first reaction would be "WHO'S TOUCHING ME?!?" :-D

lizzyopal · March 2011

cwyland:
Hah. I don't feel so bad about what happened to us last night now. After we had finished, the LO started kicking and moving like mad. First time he's done it while we were... ya know.. still in position. I giggled to myself but then my husband gets wide eyed and asks "Was that the BABY I just felt?" I was getting kicked around my cervix and he was feeling everything. He freaked and I started laughing so hard I couldn't get off of him. The whole thing lasted for about two minutes and he probably felt a half a dozen kicks. He kept freaking out that his unborn child had kicked him in the crotch for about a half hour until he calmed down and went to sleep.

lmao! i just told DH this and his response was "and that would be the end of it!".

on a side note, i think that a musket loading class would be awesome (i'm a proud hick/redneck haha) and i love the whole 1-10 orgasm scale!

Elsker · March 2011

cwyland:
....freaking out that his unborn child had kicked him in the crotch for about a half hour until he calmed down and went to sleep.

This brought me to tears!! DH hasn't felt any kicks yet, but I know it's going to terrify him when he finally does...hopefully he won't be scarred forever

cwyland · March 2011

It's suddenly not as funny to me now... he was still freaked out and went to bed without touching me tonight. When I tried to entice him, he mentioned the incident. Something about how his child should not touch him there, and maybe LO was trying to tell him he was "invading his space."

I'm gonna have to put a stop to that pretty quick. I'm not going three months without.

shelovesfrodo · March 2011

cwyland:
I'm gonna have to put a stop to that pretty quick. I'm not going three months without.

Yeah, set him straight. I have a feeling DH & I are going to be at it all the way through. I'm only 18 weeks, and we're already bemoaning the 4-6 week postpartum hiatus. Just tell your husband that it would be a loooooooonnnng time to wait if he curtails his chances this early on.

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