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July 2011 Moms
Any expert tips/advice for SAHM?
Hello Ladies!
You have been so supportive through this all and I would LOVE your tips and advice for staying at home. I have been struggling to figure out if I wanted to work or stay at home. DH has given me the option several times to stay home for a year or so when the baby comes (this is our first) but I haven't embraced it until now. I have always been a worker and like to have my independent income to contribute and save.
But, we both agree that since we are in a position to do it right now, we should. I'm starting to get really excited to stay home (although slightly nervous about not having a job) to catch up on housework and projects, take LO to classes, the park etc.
I'm not sure exactly how to balance it all though. Do you have a schedule that you stick to for house cleaning, laundry, etc.? If I'm going to stay home and all of the financial burden is going to be on DH than I want to make sure that the house is well kept and laundry and other tasks done regularly. Right now I work so much that we share the duties and fall behind sometimes.
Any tips?
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Re: Any expert tips/advice for SAHM?
If you have time, try to read this book. It helps explain some of what women go thru going from working FT to SAHM. The author was a high profile editor for a magazine and interviews a lot of highly successful professional women who chose to SAH.
I initially worked p/t from home, and in the office Fridays when DD was born. When the US auto industry started tanking in 2008 I knew the writing was on the wall for my company. If I'd gone f/t with that company I'd have been working for daycare (I was not the high roller, my job was just a job) and there was nothing else available due to the economy. MH had moved into a more travel intensive job so I also didn't want my DD mostly around people other than family all day, she'd have only seen me a few hours a day and MH weekends only if I'd gone back FT somewhere. We could afford it, we had insurance thru MH's work, and I'd always wanted to SAH anyways (my Mom did).
I don't have a cleaning schedule, I keep up on laundry, the first floor is cleaned more than the second (but its also where we mostly live), and my primary concern is are my child's needs met. MH still vacuums and helps with things like dishes. He's never been allowed to do laundry or clean things like mirrors, lol.
I really like Gymboree classes with LOs, its a good social outlet when you're home and my DD really enjoyed them and still asks why we don't go anymore (I stopped signing her up when we did preschool). I also joined a MOM's club to meet other SAH or WAH Moms in my area. I've done story time at our local library, we go to the park and zoo, we paint or color, read books, go for walks, now that she's older she helps me cook, and when she was 2 we did a Mommy & Me class thru our parks and rec as a "pre preschool" that was an hour once a week. Plus once they get socially aware my DD LOVED to go shopping. Especially mornings at the grocery store when the old ladies are there lol. She was always popular with them. She now asks to go to Target at least once a week.
DD1, Kathleen 9/15/2007
mbritto- thank you so much! I'll get that book ASAP and add it to my reading list. I've been going through books like dirty diapers!
Funny thing- I am actually a full time Youth Programmer for Parks and Rec so the mommy and me, yoga, gymnastics, playgroups etc. are what I do! I often teach them but mostly just program and staff them. I can't wait to take LO to some of the classes
Your activities sound so special and got me really excited to do those things with our little man. Crafts, cooking, reading books and even Target. How neat to do those things with your little one and have outings. Working FT I would barely see him and just like you said, someone other than family would be spending more time with him than MH and I.
thank you, you have me all excited to do special outings and fun activities with LO! I was to wrappe dup in the "duties" becasue i'm so used to working all the time!
My DH and I are in the same position as you, and have decided that I will hopefully stay home for the first 2 years. While I have no experience as a SAHM, I have been a SAHW since July, and can let you know of my schedule.
I follow this cleaning schedule. It has worked out very well for me. https://static.home-ec101.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/08/Home-Ec-101-Chore-Chart1.pdf
About once a month I'll do a giant binge and purge of old/unused stuff and clean/wash the closets. That's my only addition to the above list.
I downloaded Living Cookbook 2011, and I highly recommend it. I import all of my recipes into the program, I make a monthly meal plan, with a twice a month trip to the grocery store- it populates a shopping list which is wonderful. It pulls from the recipes listed for those 2 weeks for the shopping list which is super helpful. I'll go through the pantry about once a month to see if anything is getting low that I have to add to my grocery trip. My life has gotten a lot more streamlined and organized since following the above 2 plans, especially the meal plans. I am planning on freezing a month's worth of food for baby's first month, then hopefully, resuming my usual schedule. Hope this helps. Good luck!!
YOU ROCK!!! I am like you, it has to have a system and I like to be organized! I saved your cleaning schedule and will definitely use it!
THANKS!!!
Really, really think about your lifestyle and what you like to do.
Staying at home is NOT easy......at all. I am a teacher, so I get to "stay at home" all summer and this year I went part-time. I LOVE working part-time. It is the best of both worlds.
I personally could not SAH every day. I need some "me" time and I enjoy conversing with others. SAH can get very lonely if you don't make it a point to get out and meet other moms/do activities.
I actually find it harder to do stuff around the house while I am home because the kids are there as well. For me, it is impossible to clean, do laundry, cook, etc. with 2 active boys running around. With 1, it was easier because I had nap time, but selfishly, I wanted time to do something for me.......not just cook and clean the whole time.
Just something to think about. I think you also have to set realistic expectations for yourself and with your husband about what you can and can't get done. I told DH from the start that when I went PT, the house still wouldn't be spotless and there wouldn't always be gourmet meals on the table. The days I am home are spent with the kids and we go a lot of places. I have a couple friends who SAH and they rarely go out because they are so concerned with keeping the house clean and cooking and they feel that they "have" to do all of these things.
GL with your decision!
Great advice!! thank you!
I ama yoga teacher and do plan on picking up a few classes a week beginning in September to get out of the house, into the gym and have 'me" time as well as a little cash flow...not much but a little
There is childcare at the gym so I can bring LO and teach a class or two.
With workig for Parks and Rec. I know of a ton of playgroups, mommy groups, stroller workouts and baby/kid activities. I really want to be involved in those. I would GO CRAZY after just three straing days a thome. I am VERY active and will want to get him outside and doing activities. I really hope it works out that way....I don't know exactly what to expect.
Thank you for making the points about the house not being spotless and the gourmet dinners. DH DID mention that I'd have more time to prepare good dinners (which I do already even with working FT) and keep the house up. I will make sure that I don't make any solid promises about the house being perfect etc. until I really know what being a mom involves.
THANK YOU!
I don't have a schedule I follow for chores, I just do the dishes when they need to be done, do the laundry once a week or so, vacuum/mop when needed, etc.
I find it can be difficult to find things to do during the day, so I think it's important to plan activities. It's hard at first with an infant. They can't "play" or interact with you much so it gets boring.
I think enrolling them (once they're old enough) in a MDO program is good. I don't have DS enrolled, but my mom takes him Mondays and MIL on Tuesdays (I work part time). It's really nice to have some time away from each other those days and it's good for the child too.
Because I don't bring in much of an income, I view it as my job to manage the finances as thoroughly as possible. He makes (most of) the money and I budget it down to the penny. Of course we make money decisions together, but I am the one who grocery shops and gift shops and plans the meals, etc.
HTH!
THIS EXACTLY!!!