I am trying to determine if I am experiencing postpartum anxiety. It started a month or two ago, when the twins were about 6 months old. I never experienced any degree of depression postpartum, or ever in my life. And I don't feel depressed now, but feel as though I have high anxiety. It started with an increased heart rate and palpitations. Side note - I have a heart murmur, which causes palpitations from time to time, but nothing like this. At first, I thought it might be from caffeine....I drink two cups of coffee in the morning and a diet coke at lunch. But recently, it's started occuring in the mornings and late evenings when I haven't even had any caffeine. Then one day last week, I was just consumed by this feeling that something horrible was going to happen. Like I was going to get news that a loved one had died or been in an accident. I don't feel like my stress is through the roof, but I definitely have days where I feel overwhelmed. Like I just can't get on top of everything and I have so much to do, it will never get done. I work from home and we have a nanny who comes two days a week to keep the twins. I have anxiety over that, also.....which I shouldn't...she is here HELPING. But, it's just having someone else in the house, caring for my babies, and that's hard for me.
I know life with newborns is difficult and stressful, not to mention twins. But it's really not the babies that stresses me or causes me anxiety...it's all the other "stuff". I was going to make an appt with my cardiologist to see if things had worsened with my heart murmur, since my palpitations/irregular heart beat has gotten so bad. I even had what felt like chest pains one day and couldn't catch my breath, as my heart was racing. But then I saw something online last night about PPA, and didn't even know it existed. I'm wondering if that might be what I'm experiencing. Anyone else go thru this? What was the treatment and how long did it last for you. Thanks, ladies....I appreciate you all.

Re: Anyone experience Postpartum Anxiety?
uuuughh, I'm sorry. that sounds rotten. I deal with greatly elevated anxiety when I'm on meds - namely progesterone. I wonder if your body is just leveling out, and dealing with some wonky hormone levels? (plus the normal life stressors)
I'd also maybe point a couple fingers at the caffeine. Plus some "withdrawal" if you don't have it. Although not a ton, you could be sensitive to it (I certainly am) and it's enough to wack things funny.
I would get checked out, and make sure your heart is fine. Maybe some type of corny "de-escalation" technique or two, and for gosh sakes, cut yourself some slack ;-)
Ugh, I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I've had PPA pretty much since giving birth the first time in 2008 - although it's very hard for me to separate how much is hormonal/PP and how much is just a reaction to our history combined with my proclivity towards anxiety (strong family history).
Most days I will have at least one serious panic attack where I'm sure someone close to me is going to die or something terrible is going to happen. To the point where I regret asking DH to meet me for lunch because I think that he's going to get hit by a car on the way to meet me, can't sleep because I worry about someone breaking into our house, etc. It was definitely at its peak right after each of my deliveries though - I cried every night at bedtime until Toodle was out of the SIDS danger zone because I was so terrified he would die overnight. I didn't ever get treatment for it but have just learned to manage it on a day to day basis, especially because while still there, it is less intense for me now (I can sleep, even if only in stretches). The things that help me are routine, reassurance, and the like (I had a really bad surge of anxiety when we went on vacation this year and things were out of the ordinary).
I'm probably not the best for advice giving since obviously I don't seek treatment for my anxiety but I just view it as part of who I am, exacerbated if not caused by pregnancy and post partum hormones. But I wanted to at least provide reassurance that you're not alone and I know others on here have dealt with it and may have better suggestions for overcoming it altogether. I also don't have physical symptoms much but yours sound like they should be checked regardless.
Best of luck!
This....
I have only had this happen once, one day last week. But it was the same. The nanny took the babies out for a walk, and I was TERRIFIED she wasn't going to bring them back. DH was out running errands, and I called him to make sure he was OK and hadn't been in an accident. And I was afraid I was going to get a call saying one of my parents had died or something horrible. But, it just lasted that one day.
I think it may also be related to the fact that this time a year ago was VERY difficult and emotional for me. Within a two week span, we packed up to move across the country, I lost my grandfather very suddenly (he was like my second dad), and the next week we almost lost the twins and I had my emergency cerclage. All of that is really starting to hit me, as I reflect on this time a year ago.
I'm sorry to hear this.
I have an anxiety disorder as it is. I don't know if I had PPA or if it was just my typical anxiety, but after Cal was born I went through a period of time where I woke up almost every night with an overwhelming feeling of great doom and just wandered the house trying to snap out of it. It was very scary for me.
I also was obsessive about checking on Cal throughout the night, for fear of SIDS.
When I read about a little girl who died of cancer, it put me in a very low place for a few weeks. I was completely obsessed with the idea of it happening to Cal.
When he had a health scare last fall that was quickly ruled as NOT serious, it took me a long while to recover from it...in fact, I still have not recovered. And I just started seeing a counselor (have done so in the past, as well). I need to get my anxiety under control. It had been much better in recent years, but I think having a child triggered it for me again.
I do think it's a good idea to get your heart checked, just for peace of mind. I have an erratic heartbeat sometimes (have had it checked out - it's normal for me, but no formal diagnosis such as a heart murmur), so I know that feeling.
Caffeine can exacerbate not only heart palpatations, but anxiety as well. It is a known anxiety trigger, so I would try cutting back. I drink 2-3 cups of coffee/day but they are about 2/3 decaf and 1/3 caf. I don't drink soda, but if I did I'd drink caffeine-free coke.
Anxiety can be a lonely experience. I talk to my husband about it, and he's a wonderful support, but he can't relate. And during peak times he has had to ask me to try to find an additional support because it was getting to be too much for him to handle alone.
A counselor couldn't hurt, and you may find it helpful. My counselor specializes in cognitive behavior therapy - very focused on dealing with the anxiety, vs. delving into my past and all that.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
I'm sorry that you are dealing with this possibly! That is what the ob said that I am dealing with although I have generalized anxiety disorder anyway so I think it is just that acting up again. A lot of my issues are hormonal, I go right off my rocker the day before I get my period and always have. Whatever hormone changes that are happening at that point send me into a tizzy and I have always found the bcp makes it worse. I can't say that I am at all depressed but anxiety makes me irritated which I guess is why they also threw in the ppd diagnosis.
I have anxiety over inanimate objects which is amusing like is the stove off, are the doors locked, ect... Clutter makes me anxious, although things don't have to be clean just not laying everywhere. I knew I had to talk to someone though when I noticed that I was having more racing thoughts than usual that I couldn't turn off. My therapist also pointed out a few years ago that I have do have some OCD thrown in so now I also find myself obsessing about-you ready for this-the tops of bottles and blankets. I count them, it's awful. I am working on it but won't lie that if I know where those specific things are at the end of the night I feel more relaxed.
They pulled me off of the pill last week and I had an IUD put in. I also started the lowest dose they have of prozac and I am seeing a therapist again. Everyone thinks that as soon as my hormone levels level off and I can get my iron back up that I will be back to my normal and come off of the prozac.
Daycare is SO exhausting!
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If the anxiety is relatively new, I bet you're right. I know my anxiety has been worse at "anniversaries" of difficult times in my life.
LO #1 - 1 unmedicated/self-monitored IUI w/ donor sperm.
LO #2 - 1 m/c, 2 BFNs, 4th IUI worked (unmedicated/self-monitored with new donor sperm).
Life is beautiful!
I have had ppd with both girls that started around 6mos pp. But with DD#1 I had horrible anxiety even before she was born, it got worse with lack of sleep.
Talk to your OB and get some blood work to see if anything is off?
Good luck!
My story is very similiar to schmoodle's.
Paranoid about theft, fires, job loss and most of all...SIDS. I couldn't go out alone with my (then) newborn, otherwise I would find myself having a panic attack in public. In result, I stayed indoors with him for the first 4 months or so.
I didn't seek treatment (although I was very very close to doing so) because I convinced myself I could control it on my own. And I did for the most part. Now that my son is a bit older I can go out alone. I sleep at night knowing that it's rare he can die from SIDS. (I also invested in an Angelcare monitor that helps tremendously with that.) I'm still paranoid about my husband getting in a car accident, getting robbed, losing a job, etc. but it's more under control now, thank goodness.
What helped me is talking to people about my problem and having them relate to me. The girls on here helped me tremendously as well as talking to my fellow mom friends who kept me grounded and sane. Honestly, my husband didn't help much since he couldn't understand what I was going through but he did support me when I said I was considering getting professional help.
Anyway, I wish the best of luck to you and if you ever want to talk, just send me a PM.
TTC#2=July 2011: Surprise BFP: Chemical Pregnancy
I went through a counting/checking phase for a few years before I started treatment for depression in grad school. I pushed/pulled on doors a certain number of times to make sure they were closed/locked, etc. I just had to stop back in my old lab for something the other day, and I almost couldn't sleep worried that I had not closed the freezer when I was there. It was scary how fast I snapped back to that.
This was totally me after the birth of my LOs. I also developed some major OCD behaviors. I tried to handle it on my own, but when it hadn't resolved after about 6 months, I brought it up at my annual. My doctor put me on an antidepressant/antianxiety med that I took for a year. It helped greatly. I weaned off of it over about a month's time. I'd say I have maybe 1/8 the anxiety level I felt pre-medication, but two or three times the anxiety that I felt on the medication. At this point, I'm not sure you'd call it PPA anymore since it has improved so much.
I'm glad that you're going to have this looked into. Best of luck!
They arrived at 36 weeks after PTL and bedrest for 14 weeks.