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Pregnant and stepmom of teens...advice needed...

MrsMAFMrsMAF member
in Blended Families

Hi ladies, I don't usually post here, although I used to years ago...So I hope you don't mind my popping in.

I'm newly pregnant and it was not easy to get here. It's been a long road. We plan on telling my three stepchildren this weekend. Ages, 17, 15, 13. The two oldest live with us full time and have no contact with their BM(her choice). The oldest is a girl and I am 99% sure she will flip out. She is a bit narcissistic to begin with, very dramatic, and overall a bit difficult. I love her dearly, but she isn't easy.  Aside from the obvious issues of having no contact with her BM for almost 5 years, I know she will look at this as us doing something horrible to her.  I have rehearsed what I am going to say to her in my mind a thousand times to try to reassure her it won't cause an upheavel to her life, she wont be the babysitter, we won't love her less or the baby more, and so forth and so on...

Anyone on this board pregnant or been pregnant and had to deal with a teen SK who was less then thrilled about it? Any advice would be wonderful.... Thanks so much ladies!!

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Re: Pregnant and stepmom of teens...advice needed...

  • karleegirlkarleegirl member
    My ds heard me say I would love tO have a little girl. He told me that if I had more children he was moving in with his dad who he stays with eow. I was shocked to hear this out of my normally sweet child's mouth. He said he didn't want to have to deal with another little kid. I just reassured him my love for him would not change, but he was not going to make adult decisions. I have never asked him to a babysitter but helping each other out is what family is about. I know your sk have the bm issue but I think with teenagers there is a certain level of selfishness. You sound like you have a good plan in place. I do hope your dh is going to be a part of this convo with the kids. (sorry for lack of paragraphs , bumping on iPhone.)
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  • karatechrissykaratechrissy member
    I agree w pp that it's a security/selfish issue w older kids. Hell, I told my dad recently he better not go make any babies w anyone. (different situation, but it is also me being selfish). In the end, it is an adult decision to make. There is obviously nothing you can do about it now, so she is just going to need to be re-assured that you guys will always love her and just keep a positive spin on it best you can. Enjoy your pregnancy, dont let anyone ruin this time for you.
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  • MrsMAFMrsMAF member
    Thank you ladies for your advice :) Much appreciated!
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