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How to deal with obsession?
Hi ladies, happy Monday!
How do you deal with your child's obsession or super focus on one thing at hand?
DS loves trains and we went to a park that has a little train come through. So, of course we went on the train ride. Twice. But DS wanted to then walk on a train track (did that), go in a train tunnel (could not do that) all the time! No slides, sand box,etc could distract him - just the train tracks. There was a pond with ducks, swings - nothing. So we left. He was very upset, and so was I.
Where do you stand on this: should I have let him play to his content (provided he is safe and will not get hit by the train) or just not put him in this situation? My biggest concern is of course his safety. He should not be playing on train tracks, but then - it is a great way to count, pretend to be a train and come up with train stories..... I just do not know.....
Thank you!!!
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Re: How to deal with obsession?
Since it is not a "live" train track, does the park allow the kids to play on the tracks? If so, then I'd allow him to play to his hearts content and also encourage imaginative play and learning at the same time. In my experience, the obsessions change over time so instead of trying to discourage them, incorporate them into everyday life lessons. Jayden was OBSESSED with all things trains when he was 2 yrs old. It's all he wanted. So we used them in speech therapy, ABA therapy, and lesson planning. He is now obsessed with superheroes of all kinds. We use them to keep him engaged in learning activities now and as rewards for meeting goals.
And Elias Parker, Born 3.5 weeks early 12/20/2011
FINALLY!!! After 7 years of infertility!
Yep, addiction sounds about right. Like his eyes glaze over and all he wants is those trains, tracks, wheels - anything related to trains. His tantrum yesterday was pretty scary too.
Ughhh, Auntie, thank you for sharing. How do you make a decision to remove trains completely? We have a train table and lot sof little trains at home? Do I remove that too?
Thank you!
Bugmommy - thank you. What did you guys have to remove? Are your boys train fans too?
Auntie - very funny!!!! Thank you!
DS1 is obsessed with trains too. Our ABA therapist joked once that an obsession with trains needs to be added as a diagnostic criteria for ASD in boys lol.
We haven't really done anything as far as taking them away or limiting his time with trains as he seems to be able to function through during therapy and can divert his own attention but may God help you if you turn off his Thomas videos before the end.
Ah yes, obsessions....very familiar with that. Not too long ago I was here asking Auntie what to do about my son being so obsessed about airplanes above us (we live within 5 miles of an airport, so this was like a really big problem). It was interfering with our day, his day, everybody's day...because there is an airplane in the air pretty much every 5-10 minutes.
Anyway, I have found out over time that going cold turkey is the best. Being firm, strict (though with a quiet, peaceful and a calm voice) is the way to go. No exceptions. Pretty soon my son realized I meant business and he just had to learn to adapt. It is also a learning experience for the child....a very powerful one. They learn they really can live without their "crutches". The world will not stop spinning, if they don't do their ritual. This is also very important for OCD people (i'm a recovered OCD kid myself, I know what I'm talking about). Once they go through a few melt downs and unhappy days without their crutch, they realize they're more powerful and stronger than that. It gives them a self-esteem boost.
True story, two nights ago (after months, maybe years of a certain night-time ritual), my son looks at me in bed and says: "You know, mommy, I don't have to say those things anymore before bed. I'm not gonna say them tonight. I'll just go to sleep, ok?" I was so happy.
You'll get there.
Hopanka, did you guys move?! What happened to the airplanes?!
Ha! No, didn't move - just told him to knock it off in a sense, that it was getting really obnoxious (I used more gentle language, of course), and I explained that not everyone is interested in studying the planes and looking up all the time discussing them. He understood, it took a little while and a little prompting and then he stopped it altogether. Every once in a while (maybe once every two weeks or so), he still looks up and starts a conversation about it, but that's appropriate - kids like looking at airplanes every once in a while....just not every 5 minutes, lol!
I don't have an answer for you - but DH and I would love to know if anyone's got tips for obsessions centering around more destructive and self injurious behaviors? My SS obsesses about property destruction - and everything we've tried (medications, redirection, distractions, removing the items) doesn't seem to work. I know not everything works the same for everyone, but maybe someone can suggest something that we've not tried or thought of.