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February 2011 Moms
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i feel like such a failure :/

mimi1017mimi1017 member
in February 2011 Moms
i knew coming into this that it wasnt going to be easy. of course..thinking back i never thought that i would have to go at it alone. ive been having some rough days with DS lately. im getting very frustrated. im trying my hardest not to because i know that he will pick up on it. hes been having some tummy aches which i have been trying to ease. and then from that he doesnt sleep much..so the aftermath of the tummy aches is him being extremely tired. so all the crying from the tummy aches and then the tiredness is rough. and then some feedings he wont latch on properly and just keeps letting go and i keep trying and then he will latch on fine for a few min and just lets go again. then i will switch and he will be fine..sometimes until hes done..or he may let go. so then he screams some more :/ he doesnt do that every feeding thank goodness. but then i dont know if hes getting enough to eat. i dont know if im producing enough. im just so frustrated with everything and i feel like i cant do anything right with him. im trying so hard. i try to talk to his dad about it. all he says is it will be ok. i dont want to hear that. i want him to freaking help me. this is just one more thing to add in my book of things that im terrible at Crying
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Re: i feel like such a failure :/

  • kbugcmommykbugcmommy member
    Don't feel like a failure! It is one of the hardest things I have ever done in my life and I feel like I can't do anything right at times, but when my LO only wants my cuddles or gives me a big smile, I know I can't be doing too bad. As long as you are doing what is best for your LO and yourself you aren't a failure! It will get easier and one day you will wonder why you thought it was all so hard!
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  • myszkomyszko
    I'm sure that you are not terrible! You just feel like you are. It's so easy to feel bad and guilty like you are doing something wrong when your baby is crying! I can't imagine how hard it is without sufficient help from the dad. I have lots of help and i still feel crazy sometimes. Sounds like you need a break. Just a bath or a nice long shower can do wonders. Also, you should find a new moms groupto go to. One of our local hospitals has one. Maybe try la leche league for BFing advice too? My DD has been popping off and on and fussing a lot when eating lately, but i read it's very common in 6-8 week olds, so i'm just letting it go for awhile.
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  • Annierose1Annierose1
    My son does the same thing sometimes during day. He'll pop off and look around or he'll get too much milk and start choking then start screaming. I just stay calm, and be as patient as I can. Rubbing his head and talking to him in a calm and soothing voice seems to help. Sometimes you just have to encourage them. And sometimes he's just not hungry. I let go of the whole 2-3 hour feeding schedule. I feed my boy when he's hungry and it's been so much easier for both of us. As soon as I did that I really started to feel a closer bond to him. Although I do make sure he does eat every 3 hours, but he's usually right on time. Some days he likes to eat every hour!!!
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  • Sweetbay505Sweetbay505
    I'm so sorry you're going through a rough time.  I almost never post here but I wanted to let you know that what you are describing sounds like exactly what my LO was doing a week or two ago.  I took him to a GI specialist in my pedi practice and it turns out he has "silent" acid reflux.  He never spits up but gets the pain and other symptoms of reflux.  He's on Zantac now and Maalox sometimes for pain and feedings are completely different.  He still gets fussy at times, espcially after eating, but he is 200 times better than he was before getting some medicine.  He is finally eating and sleeping and it's such a huge relief!  Obviously that may not be what you're dealing with, but I just had to suggest it.  I was so stressed and exhausted by the time we finally saw the doc, I can totally related to how you're feeling.  Good luck!
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  • mockninemocknine member

    You are not alone!

    I've been having problems lately with feedings as well, and they seem to go exactly as you have described.  I have found breastfeeding to be extremely tolling on me and last week DH and I decided (With our pediatrician) that it was best for me and baby to supplement formula with nursing.  This has helped me feel so much better.  I still nurse her when I'm home and at night, but during the day I will nurse and then give a bottle.  She seems to be responding much better- sleeps more, less fussy during the day.

    Believe me when I tell you that most days I feel like a failure too- if it's not related to breastfeeding, then it's about not being able to get DD to calm down.  We are new moms and we are figuring out our new life.  Our babies are brand new too and they have been thrown into this foreign environment.  It's an adjustment- but we'll eventually be OK.  There MUST be light at the end of the tunnel, or people wouldn't keep having kids...right?!

     Hang in there- just remember, we are all struggling with something, big or small - You are not alone!

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  • mimi1017mimi1017 member
    thank you everyone. its been a rough few days. everytime i think hes having a better day..that lasts for like 5 min. i really hope things get better soon. im ready to just cry all day long.
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