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S/O Where to meet a man..

KatieGraceBKatieGraceB
in Single Parents
How long did you wait before "getting back out there"? A few months out from my relationship, and while I'm pretty over X, I don't in any way feel the need to go out looking for a new man. How long was it before you felt ready?
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Re: S/O Where to meet a man..

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  • DarthNBJenniDarthNBJenni
    I filed in December 2008, but we tried to reconcile for for most of 2009. He finally moved out for good in December 2009, and our divorced was finalized in April 2010. I had a few flings and dates after that, but nothing serious until December 2010 with my current bf. I knew I wasn't ready.

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  • achase123achase123

    I heard something that seemed to ring true "one year after you THINK you're ready".

    XH and I separated in July of 2009.  I would've thought that I was ready instantly because of my tendency to hop from relationship to relationship.  Obviously there is a bigger lesson for me in all of this, which I'm still learning and working towards.  I have had flings and casual relationships but nothing serious since we split.  Oh, and my divorce was final in June of 2010.  I didn't really start thinking about dating until after then.

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  • Mrs.Keith2BMrs.Keith2B member

    I don't want to even think about dating again until after my divorce is final. And since the earliest that can happen (6 month "wait" period) will be mid-September, I have a while. I'm ok with that, because I want to take this time to focus on myself. I'm a lot happier than I have been in a LONG time, but I want to make sure that I'm really happy with myself before I open my life to someone else.

    ETA: We were separated for 6 months before I filed for divorce, so it will have been over a year before I think about dating again.

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  • PrincessFiona9PrincessFiona9 member
    I went out on a few dates starting a few months after EX and I split up, but I just got into a new relationship when it had been 11 months since the breakup. I think spending so much time single helped me find my own strength. It's been about 1.5 months since my new bf and I became "official" but it's not like super serious. I'm letting things come in due time and not making a big deal out of it.
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  • dimakedimake
    It's been almost two years since the separation and seven months since the divorce was final and I'm just kind of thinking about it still.  I still like my life the way it is right now.
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  • KatieGraceBKatieGraceB
    Hm, I was just curious. X and I weren't married, or even engaged. Do you think that has any effect on it? Like I said, I'm in no way feeling the need to date, even though I feel like I could at this point and it wouldn't be a big deal. I just really have no desire to. But people in my life keep pushing me to "get back out there" or something. It's a little annoying. Like, I will get there when I d@mn well please, thank you!
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  • KatieGraceBKatieGraceB
    imagebeccaga16:

    imageKatieGraceB:
    Hm, I was just curious. X and I weren't married, or even engaged. Do you think that has any effect on it? Like I said, I'm in no way feeling the need to date, even though I feel like I could at this point and it wouldn't be a big deal. I just really have no desire to. But people in my life keep pushing me to "get back out there" or something. It's a little annoying. Like, I will get there when I d@mn well please, thank you!

    I find this strange! With a 7 month old your friends/family are rushing you "back out there" ?? I think you are right to wait until you are ready to date. You might be emotionally ready but the stress of dating/a relationship may not be what you want right now. Only you really know.

    I also find it strange, but I see where it's coming from. My family members and the friends who are doing this tend to jump right from one relationship to the next, and the ones who have children immediately go out looking for a "replacement dad" when their BD has taken off. A few years ago, I might have had that same mindset. But now, honestly, I'm quite content to focus on DS and getting my degree. 

    Also, there is someone in particular that I think everyone has in mind. That may have something to do with it too. Great guy, very sweet, very caring, and very respectful and understanding of me as a mom now. We've been friends for quite a while but never quite got off the ground with anything else. He's been basically head over heels for me for 90% of our friendship. I just don't feel like trying to fit in a relationship with everything else I have going on, no matter how nice the guy is. Ugh, why doesn't anyone in my life get that? lol

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