Worried about Jayden RE: School

Makinroom4baby · March 2011

Since April of last year, Jayden has been in preschool early intervention through the public school system. He was receiving speech and occupational therapies. He's in a classroom that has anywhere from 3-10 other kids depending on the day. The majority of the kids are non verbal and do not socialize. Jayden is the only one in the class who is toilet trained (although he wasn't when he started last year) and one of the few who can feed himself. He does have extreme behavior issues, though, that I feel would make it hard for him to get along well in a typical classroom setting.

So anyway, we met last week for his IEP update. Some of my concerns that I brought to the table were: His progress with sensory issues (seems to be able to let us know when something is too overstimulating for him and he knows how to handle it if thrown in an overwhelming situation), his desire to want to socialize with typical developing peers but not understanding how to do so properly (wanted to discuss inclusion), his inability to share AT ALL which I think has to do with him being "king" of his classroom b/c the kids don't really socialize or parallel play (or really talk to each other for that matter), and also his behavior and aggression issues (which I think also stems from him being "king"). Before I addressed my issues, I wanted to hear what they had to say...

First, his OT showed me that he met every single one of his goals. She will only need to see him once every 9 weeks and be available for teacher consults if there are any concerns that arise. Excellent! Next, his teacher voiced his need to enter an inclusion situation. Her thoughts were that he is very efficient in self help skills and now he seems to be acting out b/c the environment is too boring for him and he really has no one to play with so he acts out and gets aggressive. One thing I don't like is that I am NEVER able to observe his interactions in the classroom. I would like to see what's going on during the day, but don't have that option at this particular school. But the teacher feels that he is ready for inclusion. He'll spend the majority of his day in the special education class room, but will go to recess and art time with the typical classes (would have had lunch with them too but he has Celiac so they don't want to mix him just yet for fear of sharing). He still relies on visual cues when he gets overwhelmed and he still needs speech therapy, but they could accommodate him with a para if needed. Next the teacher discussed behavior and said "At this time a behavior plan is not needed." This is where I needed to disagree. I asked her why she felt it wasn't needed and she said b/c he responds to redirection. Sure he responds to redirection, but he still repeats the same behavior moments later and it's happening every single day. Last week, he had a great week but usually we get behavior notes sent home every day. To me that screams behavior plan. His developmental pedi feels the same. In the end, the teacher told me that there's only 6 weeks of school left and by the time they were to get him set up for a plan, the school year would be done and he would get very little out of it. The school is closing their pre-k program so he will be in a new school in August so we have to express our concerns for a BIP at the new school. I'm not waiting though...I've already set him up with a group behavior therapy clinic to help him with these inappropriate social interactions and behaviors.

So, the IEP meeting was "ok". My main concern is the vibe I'm getting from the teacher and Jayden's new "fear" of going to school. The teacher almost seems frustrated with Jayden and not the happiest person when we drop him off. I'm thinking she may wake up in the morning saying "Oh no, Jayden comes today!" For a few months now, Jayden has been pitching HUGE fits at drop off time. We literally have to pry him out of the truck. By the time we drive off, he stops crying but he looks so sad and unhappy (the teacher also wrote on his report that he often seems sad and depressed at school). One day my husband asked Jayden why he didn't like going to school and Jayden said "Teacher hit me." Jayden doesn't understand the concept of lying yet, so I do believe him but I have to wonder if maybe it was more of a time out issue or not, but I highly doubt he'd come home and tell us his teacher hit him if that's not what happened. But IDK. What's more ironic is that the day I planned to mention this to her she met us at the truck and said "Man I hope y'all don't think I'm beating this child b/c I assure you I'm not!" I said, well he did tell us that his teacher hit him. She laughed it off. I called and spoke with the principle and asked about discipline techniques in the PEI classes and she told me no teacher is allowed to hit any student and that they would keep an eye on Jayden's teacher but she doubts Jayden was hit... This morning, we were driving to school and Jayden kept saying "No I don't want to go to school." When we left him there he screamed and cried. I called to check on him and was told that he appeared very sad. And today is his first full day. Usually we pick him up after lunch, but today he stays until 3:30. I'm so sad b/c I know after lunch he's going to be looking for us to pick him up. I want him to be happy at school. I know he CAN be happy. I just hate not being able to know exactly what's bothering him. He goes to a pre k program in a private child care center two days a week and he loves it. The main differences there is that there are typical kids and he plays so nicely with the other 3 boys in his room, the room is more bright and fun (whereas he's in a stale, dark trailer at public school), and his teacher (and the aide) seem to be more patient with him, which is odd to me b/c they are not special education teachers. My gut tells me to pull him out of this school today but I know that's the mommy in me and I worry about how he will do without his speech therapy. I just hate seeing him so unhappy...What would you do??

skittles_123 · March 2011

My heart breaks for you. If it were my child, I probably would pull him out, since there is only 6 weeks left. It just doesn't appear this is a good fit for him. Do you have access to get his OT and ST privately now through the end of the summer? Or still get it through the school system at least through the end of the school year. You can always pull him out and still ask that they provide drop in ST and OT services. That was an option for my ds (ASD dx), when we decided against placement in the SN pre-school.

My ds is in a mainstream pre-school 3 days a week and does wonderful. He has a ABA aide/instructor that comes to visit him there to help him through parts of his day. But, at least half of all the days he is there, he is there unassisted.

Makinroom4baby · March 2011

Is the mainstream preschool through the public school system or is it a private facility? The problems I've come across with private facilities are that they are not mandated by law to follow IEPs or, in the case of the daycare center where he goes two days a week, after age 3 they cannot allow therapists to see the kids there b/c the state wants them in the public school system. The one private preschool we found that follows IEPs is 20 miles from our house and the tuition is not affordable.

I do think he would thrive in a more mainstream setting and I'm blaming myself for sticking him in the SN preschool program (after being warned not to do it). He is not progressing there b/c he doesn't seem to want to be there.

Sobachka · March 2011

Do not blame yourself. You did what made sense at the moment. I agree with Skittles, try to get services through school without keeping Jayden there.

We have several families who moved to Houston from NO due to lack of services and budget cuts in education.

Could you get an advocate?

skittles_123 · March 2011

Auntie does have some great points. My ds is at a private pre-school, out of county and out of state, so none of his services followed him. We live in Southern Indiana, right on the border of KY. My dh and I both work in KY, and my ds and dd both attend the pre-school run by the university that I work at. It is just two blocks from my office.

We picked this program versus the state program because ds had an April b-day, which is late in the school year and only attended the SN pre-school PT for the last 6 weeks and stayed enrolled at the pre-school where he is now PT as well to keep his placement for the summer. I work, so we needed summer care.

His summer program with his ABA instructors/aide at the pre-school went extremely well, so we decided no to enroll ds in the SN pre-school. Now, his ABA therapists/aides are all paid by insurance because of the autism insurance mandates in Indiana.

Now, if I didn't work, or had to travel the 30 minute commute to this pre-school anyway, I would do it, that is how confident I am that we have found what works for him.

Don't be hard on yourself. Sometimes it takes some experimenting to figure out what works best for your individual child.

Good luck.

Makinroom4baby · March 2011

Auntie, I should note that when Jayden went for his annual evaluation at his developmental pediatrician's office in June of 2010, the majority of his spectrum behaviors were gone. This coincided with a lower frequency of seizures. The pedi was so impressed by the difference that she felt that he no longer fit the criteria for PDD-NOS. Whatever, I know how subjective that can be. Over the summer he seemed to come out of a fog he was in. Potty trained himself, talked in sentences, listened, and did wonderful in a typical summer camp. In August the seizures increased and difficulty in school was noticed by late October. Saw the Dev pedi again in January b/c we were concerned and she noticed that the spectrum behaviors returned but "for a different reason". His behaviors were impulsive and attention seeking more along the lines of ADHD. He weaned off of 3 different seizures meds and his seizures stopped (last seizure in Jan, controlled by only one medication now) and we saw the developmental pedi again 2 weeks ago. Still seeing glimpses of spectrum behaviors on impulse and for attention but she noticed marked improvement again, since January. So I'm not sure if we should be treating it as spectrum disorder or ADHD. What I do know is that he's not happy in the current environment he's in. We picked him up today and the teachers aide said that he seemed withdrawn and depressed the majority of the day It's hard right now for me to know what's best for him and I'm trusting the teachers who watch him interact most of the day and they are saying he's getting bored of the environment. Jayden's Dev Pedi is 45 minutes away from the school and won't be able to come to his school to observe (I don't think she even does that). There is a psychologist at school and it's on his IEP that she's to observe him and report on his behavior. The reports are saying one thing (that he's doing well) but the notes being sent home from the teacher say another.

Makinroom4baby · March 2011

Yep, I'm confused as well...the behaviors recorded at the initial diagnosis were lack of eye contact only when he wasn't in control (he made perfect eye contact when requesting things like more bubbles or for a ball to be thrown to him), speech delay, extreme social anxiety, and self injurious behaviors with extreme aggression. Actually, the Dr said that while she noticed spectrum behaviors, he did not appear to be on the spectrum but she gave him to PDD-NOS diagnosis so he could get the services he needed at the time. At his follow up a year later, eye contact was excellent, he was talking in sentences, no longer banging his head and breaking things on purpose, and his social anxiety was lowered. However, he still had (has) awkward social interactions and aggression issues. Also, he is extremely hyperactive.

At the Drs office for his initial visit, she gave him the CARS assessment. The test scores showed that he was not on the spectrum, but since she saw the spectrum behaviors and he obviously needed the help and we were having a hard time getting him service (3 other professionals all disagreed that he was autistic), she gave him the PDD-NOS diagnosis. However, 6 months later when he transitioned from EI to the school system, he was given the GARS-2 test and he scored 96 (very likely to be autistic). I should add that his gut was still healing from the undiagnosed celiac disease and he was having seizures that we were not yet aware of at the time. So now, at his most recent appointment, she said that it does seem more like a case of ADHD instead of PDD. She re did the autism profile and his scores take him even further away from the spectrum but the profiles that my husband and I filled out and that his teacher filled out for ADHD are all impressive. He's still too young to know for sure, but it looks like that's he case with him right now. And it has left me very confused b/c I have no idea where we should go from here. I know that ADHD children can fare well in mainstream classes, but I would never set him up for failure. I know that his behavior would affect him in a mainstream class. However, he starts group therapy next month in a private behavioral clinic. I have observed him in typical settings and he WANTS to play with other kids but he doesn't know how to play unless it's rough housing. He initiates games of tag and "keep away", but doesn't understand when someone has had enough of him running off with their ball. He plays with figurines with other kids as long as there are enough to go around and as long as he has his pick of the favorite.So my hope is that the private behavior therapy will help him, but I'm ok with him staying in the special needs program if that's what he needs. My problem is that I'm not exactly sure if that's what he needs or if he's sad and withdrawn in there b/c he needs more.

He does have the stamina to do a full day b/c he does full days twice a week at the typical preschool. He's been out of sorts for 3 months now and he was going for only 3.5 hours a day. Today was his first full day and he was sad from the moment we put him in his uniform. He likes going to "school" at the typical setting and he LOVES going to "school" at the gym childcare. He just hates going to PEI. I'm sure it has a lot to do with him not wanting to participate in therapy b/c he's so hyperactive, but his teacher has also been very negative towards him in the past few months... "Boy I don't know how y'all do it!" "Whew, he is exhausting." "Thank God y'all are young." every time we pick him up and I know that negativity is shown to him in class and he picks up on it. His birthmother was not very honest about the family history but I do know that her sister has a little boy with a severe form of autism and other mental illnesses so yes there's some history. He sees a private psychologist next month.

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