Poll (from study/article): What we regret most

Ttimes3 · March 2011

I overheard the story on this study, this morning, on The Early Show. On a general level, do you relate? If so, of the five broad categories -- (1)romance (2)family (3)career (4)education and (5)financial -- (or another category of your choosing), which area(s) of your life do you regret, so far, the most?

**Feel free to add as much (or as little) detail in your response as you'd like.**

Ttimes3 · March 2011

In general, I would say education and/or career. I list those for a number of reasons; however, mostly because I feel (all too often) that I spent almost 5 years obtaining a (double-major) degree, which I don't "use." I wouldn't say that my time was wasted, per se; however, I do wish I (a) held a degree in a subject applicable to the field I am currently working (b) stuck it out in the field for which I DO hold a degree (c) followed a different path, entirely.

So far, I don't have (m)any other regrets in life.

buckeyethor · March 2011

That is so tough to answer. How can you say what you regret the most without changing where you are in life now? I regret not studying more in college and sometimes I regret leaving a great job, but where would I be if I had changed those things? Would I be married to this man? Would I have Audrey? I just can't answer unless I knew I would get the same outcome. Sometimes I think "It sure would be great if I still had that one job and we would have xyz" but our lives would have been forever changed by that decision.

Traycee1242 · March 2011

buckeyethor:
That is so tough to answer. How can you say what you regret the most without changing where you are in life now? I regret not studying more in college and sometimes I regret leaving a great job, but where would I be if I had changed those things? Would I be married to this man? Would I have Audrey? I just can't answer unless I knew I would get the same outcome. Sometimes I think "It sure would be great if I still had that one job and we would have xyz" but our lives would have been forever changed by that decision.

ITA... If I regret anything that happened.. it would have taken me in a TOTAL different direction and I wouldn't be where I am today. So NO regrets for me... even my biggest mistakes.

What I DO regret???? In highschool and college I used to go tanning... like tanning bed Embarrassed What the hell was I thinking? I'm scared every time I go to the dermatologist that I'm going to have melanoma....

notguilty · March 2011

While I don't regret the general choice of my career, I regret my decision to take the job I have now. It led to an overwhelming sense of regret because I left a job I loved for all the wrong reasons. It's so not worth it. As time has passed, I've learned not to regret it for the following reasons:

1. I would have ended up having regrets anyway for not taking the job and continuing down the path of least resistance. At least I can say I tried!

2. I've learned to trust my gut in all future decisions. I will never again base a decision on what other people think I should do, or what other people will think of me. I realize now I put too much emphasis on this during my decision-making process to take this job. I will never do it again and it's truly been a great life lesson.

Moesten · March 2011

Traycee1242:
buckeyethor:
That is so tough to answer. How can you say what you regret the most without changing where you are in life now? I regret not studying more in college and sometimes I regret leaving a great job, but where would I be if I had changed those things? Would I be married to this man? Would I have Audrey? I just can't answer unless I knew I would get the same outcome. Sometimes I think "It sure would be great if I still had that one job and we would have xyz" but our lives would have been forever changed by that decision.
ITA... If I regret anything that happened.. it would have taken me in a TOTAL different direction and I wouldn't be where I am today. So NO regrets for me... even my biggest mistakes.

All of this. Had I chosen a different path I would have had a different outcome and I don't want a different outcome.

I was going to say I would have done things differently financially but even that would have changed my outcome since my debt reduction goals are what prompted me to get a second job which is where, of course, I met DH. See? Even monstrous debt in my 20's is something I wouldn't change. (Actually I would, but you know what I mean)

Ttimes3 · March 2011

notguilty:

While I don't regret the general choice of my career, I regret my decision to take the job I have now. It led to an overwhelming sense of regret because I left a job I loved for all the wrong reasons. It's so not worth it. As time has passed, I've learned not to regret it for the following reasons:

1. I would have ended up having regrets anyway for not taking the job and continuing down the path of least resistance. At least I can say I tried!

2. I've learned to trust my gut in all future decisions. I will never again base a decision on what other people think I should do, or what other people will think of me. I realize now I put too much emphasis on this during my decision-making process to take this job. I will never do it again and it's truly been a great life lesson.

Yes I like #2, especially.

Ttimes3 · March 2011

Moesten:

...but even that would have changed my outcome since my debt reduction goals are what prompted me to get a second job which is where, of course, I met DH. See?

Okay, I'll eat my words. I met my DH while I was teaching. Even though we were living less than 3 miles from each other, I'm fairly certain I never would have met him, otherwise.

WHY MUST YOU ALL MAKE SUCH COMPELLING POINTS ALL THE TIME?! Wink

l.m.k. · March 2011

I don't regret much of anything except going to law school, which falls into 3 and 4. I loved being an economics major - I wish I had gotten a PhD and was an econ professor now. Law school was awful for me. I enjoy being a criminal defense lawyer but there are very few other jobs in the legal field that I would actually enjoy.

notguilty · March 2011

l.m.k.:

I don't regret much of anything except going to law school, which falls into 3 and 4. I loved being an economics major - I wish I had gotten a PhD and was an econ professor now. Law school was awful for me. I enjoy being a criminal defense lawyer but there are very few other jobs in the legal field that I would actually enjoy.

What are you talking about? Law School was awesome. Wink

RFKD82909 · March 2011

I have some regrets but I do believe that everything happens for a reason.

I regret switching my major in college from education to criminal justice. I'm not professionally happy and I would have been 100% better suited for a teaching career.

However because I changed my major I also changed foreign language classes and ended up in ASL in college instead of French (which I had originally started taking)

I met my H in ASL. He was also a CJ major but we had never had a single class together and probably never would have.

H started in German class but got cancer at 21 and had major surgery and his German witch of a professor wouldn't let him make up the final. This put him too far behind in languages to graduate on time so he switched to ASL.

Where he met his future wife.

Funny how things work out.

l.m.k. · March 2011

notguilty:
l.m.k.:

I don't regret much of anything except going to law school, which falls into 3 and 4. I loved being an economics major - I wish I had gotten a PhD and was an econ professor now. Law school was awful for me. I enjoy being a criminal defense lawyer but there are very few other jobs in the legal field that I would actually enjoy.

What are you talking about? Law School was awesome.

Totally! Awesome like stabbing yourself in the eye with a rusty fork. Gosh, those were the days...

stillwaiting12 · March 2011

I absolutely regret my career choice. I let myself get comfortable in a position that I am 100% not happy with. I don't use any of my skills and I have no long term future here. I love the friendships I have made, but even those I wouldn't regret if I had chosen another path. This is something I plan to work on/change after becoming a mom. Right now the flexibility is pivotal or else I would have already taken the leap to something else.

Ttimes3 · March 2011

l.m.k.:
notguilty:
l.m.k.:

I don't regret much of anything except going to law school, which falls into 3 and 4. I loved being an economics major - I wish I had gotten a PhD and was an econ professor now. Law school was awful for me. I enjoy being a criminal defense lawyer but there are very few other jobs in the legal field that I would actually enjoy.

What are you talking about? Law School was awesome.

Totally! Awesome like stabbing yourself in the eye with a rusty fork. Gosh, those were the days...

I used to regret not going to law school. Comments like these help quell those residual feelings.

vollmasm · March 2011

Although I am extremely happy with my personal life, there are a TON of "what ifs" that I wonder about. Not necessarily regret, but just a general curiosity of where I would be now.

I went to a semi-local undergrad because I wanted to stay close to my high school boyfriend instead of going to big city (Chicago, New York, LA) like I always wanted as a teen. He broke up with me a month after graduation. My dad also died right before I graduated from high school, which also kept me from going anywhere because I couldn't leave my mom.

Then I thought I would leave after college and try something new. Again, didn't happen. I was too scared.

Now I am getting ready to graduate from law school and I seriously wish that I had not gone. I should have stayed where I was working and pursued my MBA at night. I thought I always wanted to be a lawyer, but now I'm not so sure it will make me happy in the long run, which is all DH and myself want for each other.

All that being said, had I not gone to my undergrad, I wouldn't have met my now brother in law. He ended up marrying my roomate and DH and I met at their wedding as maid of honor and best man. Like I said, not so much regret because I am very happy in my personal life, but alot of questions about what would have happened to me had I followed what I really wanted to do professionally. I'm turning 30 this year and I think I'm having a "1/3 life crisis"...I keep telling DH I'm going to spend my 30s correcting the mistakes of my 20s...

**Sorry if this had a negative spin to it, I've actually been thinking about this very issue ALOT lately and I need to stop dwelling and be happy with the wonderful life that I have**

kel716 · March 2011

My one regret- complete and total financial stupidity in my early 20s.

I'm happy with my career choice, love my family, and love where life has landed me the majority of the time. But like you guys said, some of the dumb choices we made led us to good things now. While I'm pretty certain some of those poor financial decisions wouldn't lead me to where I am now, there a few that would have. So I'm twixt.

teacherjess · March 2011

I wish I had gotten my Master's degree right out of college while I was p!ssing the time away doing nothing besides teaching. I'm in grad school now, and it is hell trying to balance coursework and parenting and teaching. Plus, because I'm so limited on time, I'm pursuing a Master's in education instead of English, which is what I really wanted my Master's in. GRRR.

I also regret the first house we bought. I was so in love with the idea of buying a house and having more space that I didn't even consider anything else, like the crappy, scary neighborhood surrounding the house. One baby and one recession later, we sold the house but lost so much money on it that we essentially lost the 20k we put down on it. I could REALLY use 20k right now!

KristenBtobe · March 2011

I regret not respecting myself more in high school and college. I treated myself poorly and engaged in some very risky behaviors. In the more recent past, I regret leaving the job I had before I got pregnant with Mags. Had I known I was pg I never would have left to further my career (or so I thought). I would have been better off staying put, but there's no way I would have known that at the time.

Miller238 · March 2011

I regret my major in college a little bit. I originally went to college for a biology major and switched it to accounting. I ended up with a great education and went on to get my MBA, and I have a great job, but sometimes I wish I had gone in a different direction and had a different (and more exciting) career. The grass is always greener...

I also regret buying the house we bought. We were so giddy to buy a house that we looked past a few things. Actually, we had never been home owners before, so we didnt even think of a few things this house is lacking.

allobosc · March 2011

I regret not focusing more in college. I didn't party that much, but I definitely didn't try my hardest. I feel I could have been much better academically. I love teaching, but my first route was medical. I kinda wussed out due to a bad chemistry grade and no one pushed me to continue so I didn't. I really wanted to be a Physician Assistant and sometimes dream about going that route.

I often wonder what life would be like for me if I'd stay in SC after graduating and moving in with DH (we married 4 yrs. later). I doubt we'd be together and I bet I'd be living outside the US some place.

I have some regrets financially too, but nothing to messy.

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